Have you ever stopped to think why we change when we are with other people? Why is it so hard for us to be ourselves? And here is when the typical situation appears in which we are with other people, our partner, boss, etc… and we want to do or say something and a voice appears in our head that tells us: “Will it seem bad to you?”, ” Will he get angry with me?”, “Will he stop loving me?” and thus a sometimes endless list of doubts that make us in the end do and say exactly the opposite of what we had thought at first.
Well, in each and every one of these situations, we can choose between being true to ourselves or betraying ourselves. When we talk about fidelity we believe that it only refers to the fact of not betraying other people, but being faithful to oneself is what it should be. As a way of life where the basis is to know oneself and that there is coherence between what we think or say with what we finally do. That is why it is important to know ourselves, to know what our values and principles are. It is about first understanding our internal world and then relating to the external world.
The reasons that lead a person to not be true to themselves can be very different, depending on their environment, their education, their culture, etc… One of the most common reasons is fear, fear of being rejected, criticize or judge us We all feel the need to fit in in some way or to some extent in different areas. Many times we are willing to say something we do not mean or act in a way that is exactly the opposite of how we would really do it in order to get acceptance, approval or a good gesture from another person.
Another important reason is that sometimes we simply don’t know who we are. We all think we know who we are, but the reality is that on many occasions we don’t know, we act on impulses or inertia or because of what we are supposed to do or what is expected of us and it is very difficult to know ourselves and be coherent. .
On the other hand, there is our saboteur. We all have one that has been nourished and that makes us see that sometimes we will not be capable, that we are not enough or that in order to be loved we must do certain things, even if we do not agree.
And what can we do then?
There are only two keys to working on being true to yourself:
1. Be consistent
That what you think is in line with how you feel and how you end up acting in your day-to-day situations When you are faced with a situation in which you have to make a decision or give an answer, stop so as not to act impulsively or out of inertia, take a few minutes and ask yourself, if I am consistent with myself, what would I do? If my friend tells me to go out to dinner and I don’t feel like it, but I go, I’m not being consistent. Maybe tell her, I’m tired today, I’ll stay home. Maybe another day. That’s just being more consistent with myself and I’ll feel better.
2. Get to know yourself
It is very difficult for a person to be true to themselves if they do not know who they are, find your motivations, your goals in life, your desires and start with something as simple as living without a mask or without fears. Sometimes it is not found at first either. Until we find our life goals, we make mistakes many times. Hitting the key is not always easy Being true to yourself also improves your self-esteem and self-confidence in feeling capable of achieving and deciding what we set out to do.
Not everyone will understand that you are true to yourself, especially if that is not for their benefit, but it will surely help you achieve your own benefit and well-being.
