Attached or Trapped?

We often confuse being attached with being trapped. They are different terms, not synonyms since attachments are not necessarily bad unless we get trapped….

I’ve been wanting to write about a topic for a while, I’m not sure if what I’m going to write makes any sense to you, but I hope you can help me with your opinions. Sometimes I see phrases everywhere like: clinging to things and people makes you suffer…, free yourself from ties and live without conditions… In general terms it is not that I dislike these comments, what it seems to me is that there is some confusion

Difference between attached and trapped

In the humble opinion of a servant, “tying up” as a synonym for cling to someone with the purpose of obtaining through that person security, prestige or fame, economic stability… Or, as sometimes happens, “attaching or clinging” to animals, a luxury car, an ostentatious house, etc. Expecting these beings or objects to provide us with affection or status that we would not otherwise have is bad.

All this is truly bad, since it is still a lie and does not stop being a dependency so, if this disappears from our lives because we have not been able to preserve it, among other things, because nothing truly strong held these people or things to us, then we are “sold” and, therefore, very annoyed.

Instead, there is another perspective When we are “subjected” to something, or someone, and the word “subject” would be synonymous with “united”, we have an orderly, balanced and loved life. We unite with the affection of our children, our partners, what they provide us. We are close to our parents, grandparents, cousins… our friends.

We are united when, not wanting anything from those people, we feel, instead, inseparably close to them. When the loss of someone does not make us poorer, less brave, or less desired, but rather leaves us empty and an irreplaceable hole.

Why shouldn’t we be tied to others?

What do we suffer from the loss of what we love? we feel united, to which we attach ourselves emotionally? Sure, you suffer a lot, but you also live intensely while you have it and you enjoy it, even after losing it, while you remember it. Being united provides us with “holds”, emotional structures of stability, it is good and necessary and it would be a mistake to avoid it to avoid pain.

But, I can’t stop thinking about the confusion! I am referring to the situations in which we believe we act correctly, accepting without questioning facts that “bind” us to others, since we obey the “ought to be” socially accepted as good for everyone, we justify it as necessary situations that must be endured but, in the Deep down we know that this is not good for us, or, what happens with those posh marriages? Those who abuse those around them for the mere fact of being family? Those who give up two lives’ savings to have the most luxurious home of all? Of those who are bitter in their jobs with poisoned relationships who accept it under the premise of obligation?… They say they are united to their partners, family members, or contracts, they say it is the right thing to do and the good for your stability But isn’t fear what lies beneath this cloak of appearance? Fear of transforming “binding” into “holding on” because of the social cost that this would imply? Do we know when it is one word or the other that operates in our lives?