Staying In Touch With Your Ex-partner Says This About You
Entering a relationship means that our life takes a 180 degree turn, for better and for worse. This becomes clear, in many cases, during the breakup of a couple, a stage in which in many cases we enter into a personal crisis not only produced by the lack of contact with the person we once loved, but also by the emptiness that Let us lose many of the habits that we previously did with him or her “ex”.
But goodbye is not always final. It is common that after the breakup contact is maintained with the ex-partner, with cordial treatment. In fact, it is estimated that almost half of the people who have previously had romantic relationships maintain a friendly relationship with at least one of their ex-partners, and around 13% of them say that their best friend u friend is someone with whom you have had a romantic relationship in the past.
So, it is worth asking… why are some people capable of maintain friendships with ex-partners and others not? A few months ago a study based on questionnaires was published that serves to clarify this issue for us.
The research, whose results were published in the journal Personal Relationshipsincluded the participation of people who had a partner at that time and who had previously been involved in at least one other romantic relationship that has already ended, and reflects several of the conclusions that other similar studies carried out previously highlighted.
For example, he found that More or less 40% of the people surveyed maintained contact with at least one ex-partner, and although in most cases this was not very frequent, in 13% of them the people involved spoke to each other several times each week.
Beyond these aspects related to the frequency with which contact is maintained with ex-partners, the research also shows data about what these relationships are like after the breakup.
The beginning of that contact with someone whom we begin to see for the first time as an ex-partner usually occurs after a hiatus of at least two months in which they do not stay in person and communicate via the Internet and the like. falls sharply until almost disappearing.
What predisposes you to resume contact with your ex-partner
But what makes you more likely to get back in touch with an ex? Curiously, and contrary to what one might think, the friendly attitude with a former partner It is not an unequivocal sign that the heartbreak in love has been overcome ; If we look at the statistical data, in fact, the probability that someone who maintains a friendly relationship with their ex has overcome the breakup is lower than that of someone who does not maintain that contact.
Specifically, the percentage of research participants who stated that they had not overcome the breakup was significantly higher among those who remained friends with their ex-partner. Furthermore, the probability of keeping an old love in the form of a simple friendly relationship was greater in people who considered be relatively uninvolved in their current relationship, although they did not feel dissatisfied with the latter. In general, she tended to show a greater propensity to maintain friendships with exes for whom she still had feelings.
In another study conducted by the same team, an attempt was made to go into more detail to investigate the motivations of those who maintain friendships with an ex-partner, and for this purpose only young people who were in contact with an ex-partner participated. (or more) with a frequency of at least bimonthly, and who were also in a relationship with another person.
On this occasion, the researchers did find a relationship between satisfaction with the current relationship, the greater the contact with which one spoke with the ex-partner.
On the other hand, the participants were also asked to say to what degree they believed that each of these phrases described the reasons why they maintained contact with that ex-partner:
The participants most satisfied with their romantic relationship tended to respond very positively to the option that refers to the broad group of friends (perhaps because it is a contact that requires less effort and dedication to be “fitted” into the usual social circle), while those who were most dissatisfied highlighted the option of go back to that person as plan B ; The other two options did not correlate well with the satisfaction obtained from the couple.
Conclusions
Of course, these results do not mean that anyone who maintains a friendship with an ex still has feelings for that old love, but rather that statistically the number of people who have not gotten over the breakup It is more common among those who remain in contact with the ex-partner than among those who have made a clean slate.
Perhaps this indicates that breaking up with someone completely is not as immature an option as many believe, but rather an effective way to not make each other’s lives miserable. In any case, each person is a world, also in our emotional aspect.
