“My mind exhausts me,” I can’t stop thinking, I would love to turn it off. These are comments that I regularly hear in therapy. Our thoughts influence how we feel. That is why it is so important to control what we think.
We have two types of emotions: survival and creative emotions There are four survival emotions: sadness, fear, anger and joy. I would add anxiety as a fundamental emotion in today’s society. Creative emotions are those that make us feel well-being and personal satisfaction: love, generosity, surprise, creativity, enthusiasm, excitement, curiosity…
So that human beings can focus on generating well-being through creative emotions, we first need to release survival emotions. How is this done?
The first thing is to detect that we are in survival mode. We know we are when we are very alert with the environment, time and body With the environment we can detect it with these types of thoughts: “why did this person tell me this?”; “My boss shouldn’t act like that”; “These things should not happen in the world”…
We are very alert with the body when we pay close attention to our physical body: we look at our appearance or certain parts of it with a magnifying glass; hypervigilant with some physical symptoms; if we think we have some illness or disease; when we notice the slightest perceptual change in our body.
Finally, We are focused on time when we have these types of thoughts: “I still have five hours left”; “how boring, what do I do the rest of the day”; “I don’t have time to get to the places”…
These emotions are necessary for short periods, but chronically over time, they can produce disorders. Chronic sadness produces depression; Chronic anxiety produces anxiety disorders such as panic attacks, agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder… Chronic fear produces phobias. Chronic anger produces antisocial and disruptive behavior problems.
To manage emotions, we are going to distinguish three fundamental concepts:
1. Mood
This is When we have a temporary emotion, then we say that we have an emotional state. For example: today I felt sad. If we spend a few hours or a few days, or a week sad, we can say that we have a sad emotional state.
2. Temperament
When we have been feeling sad for months For example, the melancholic or analytical temperament focuses more on the negative things that happen and the predominant state for a time is sadness.
3. Personality trait
When we have been year s feeling sad. Then we can say that that person is sad. It is a central trait that usually defines the person.
To do?
What we have to try is not to make these survival emotions chronic. Do not make them last over time If we cannot do it alone, it is advisable to ask for psychological help.
How can we free them? If we feel sad, our body will behave apathetic, without energy, without the desire to do anything. To release sadness, it is good to cry if we need to, or look for introspective moments with ourselves. Tears are natural pain relievers. Sadness means loss
It may be the loss of a loved one, of a relationship, of some aspect of our personality, of oneself or of some vital situation. Therefore, it asks us to be with ourselves and we also need to feel cared for and loved. It may mean that we need a vital change.
When we feel anxiety, the emotional state is totally different We are in alert mode, over-activated and show excessive concern about the future, waiting for catastrophic events to occur. Anxiety is preceded by the thought: “what if…” Our anxious thoughts release cortisol. That is why it is so important to control these thoughts.
To release it, it is good to focus on our own breathing. Breathing deeply makes us return to the present moment and become aware of our body. It also helps us to cut out those negative thoughts. Nip them in the bud. Do not argue with them, nor judge ourselves for having those thoughts. Just don’t pay attention to them.
When we experience anger it is healthy to feel it physically, but not reacting immediately after feeling it Wait half an hour, or spend some time outside until we calm down, to be able to redirect the anger in a constructive way. Then we can communicate with the other person or set limits assertively, without hurting the other.
Why is it important to release survival emotions?
When there is a thought, neurons connect with each other and produce synapses. Thoughts, depending on their content, can release different neurotransmitters (chemical substances in the brain: serotonin, endorphins, dopamine, norepinephrine…). Emotion is energy in motion. It is our body’s way of expressing how we feel Therefore, we feel the emotion bodily.
If we feel anxiety or fear at specific moments (moods), we release cortisol. It can be adaptive in situations that require it, such as feeling fear in a situation of real danger. It is adaptive so that we avoid or become paralyzed by a fear object. For example, if a thief is going to rob us. But if we are afraid, anxious, or sad for a prolonged period of time, we are going to release too much cortisol and therefore can somatize. It would not be adaptive in the case of some positive experience that makes us grow and evolve, such as the fear of speaking in public.
Once we have released the survival emotions, we will then focus on the creative emotions. There we are going to use the frontal lobe. The “boss of the brain”, executive intelligence It is the ability we have to adapt to the environment that surrounds us. Give an appropriate response to the situations we experience.
Executive intelligence causes us to develop self-control, decision making, concentration, focusing on our goals, our sense of identity and seeing the long-term consequences of our behavior. This is where we can build the life we want to have. Our brain thinks in the present. Any thought we have, the brain thinks is real. That’s why instead of focusing on avoiding or worrying about what doesn’t happen, why don’t we change our way of thinking and focus on what we want to happen?
You have to talk to the brain positively, not negatively For example, if we want to be a more serene person, we have to pay attention to everything that makes us feel at peace with ourselves, to observe how serene people think, how they feel and how they behave, instead of thinking “I don’t want to be so nervous,” or “I don’t want to feel that.” Our brain needs us to give it precise orders of what we want to be or make happen. Otherwise we sabotage ourselves and go against our personal development.
Our survival emotions are adaptive, but it is the creative emotions that make us feel with good self-esteem and self-actualization.
