The 3 Most Important Theories of Love

Love is undoubtedly one of the most intense and complex feelings that human beings can experience throughout their lives.

So much so, that many psychological theories have been proposed to try to explain it, and yet it remains a concept that remains difficult to define or reduce to a series of theoretical explanations. Still, we will carry out a review of some of the most interesting theories of love

Psychological models to explain love

In order to talk about the different theories of love, we should first try to introduce this term, knowing the enormous complication that this task entails, since we have already stated that it is one of the most complex and exciting phenomena that human beings can experience.

However, Love admits as many definitions as we have perspectives on it For example, according to evolutionary psychology, love will be a mechanism by which individuals who are related as father and son to each other ensure mutual support that increases the chances of survival.

Obviously, this is a much colder view than what we are used to. Before delving fully into the theories of love, we will see some more definitions. Biology affirms that there are three impulses in human beings that would make up this feeling, and they are attachment, libido and partner choice.

Furthermore, this field of knowledge tells us the chemical components that hide behind the sensations of love, in the form of neurotransmitters, hormones and neuropeptides Some of them are as well known as oxytocin, dopamine, testosterone or estrogens.

Likewise, at a structural level, there are several parts of the nervous system that would be involved in these impulses that biology, as the promoter of one of the theories of love, points out to us. One of the most important is that of the limbic system, or paleomammal cortex.

Besides, Brain imaging studies show us that the middle insula and the anterior cingulate cortex are regions involved in what we experience as a feeling of love They are not the only ones, activity was also found in the fusiform regions and angular gyri of both hemispheres.

These are just some of the different approaches that can be taken towards theories of love. Other disciplines such as philosophy or anthropology could also offer various approaches to try to appreciate this phenomenon from very varied perspectives.

The main theories of love

We will try to focus now on some of the theories of love, from a psychological point of view. To do this, we are going to review some of the most important models.

1. Love triangle theory

The love triangle theory would be one of the best-known love theories in psychology. The creator is the American researcher Robert Sternberg What this psychologist suggests is that love is made up of three categories, which are what would make up the triangle that gives its name to the model. These categories are intimacy, passion and commitment.

Each of the elements has its own characteristics, and the sum of all of them is what gives rise to love. Intimacy, for example, refers to the desire to experience closeness with the other person enjoying each other’s company, so that the bond between the two becomes stronger.

On the other hand, Passion would refer to the excitement, either physical or emotional, that can arise between two individuals Furthermore, this condition can even cloud the reason of the person experiencing it, leading them to perform behaviors that could pose a risk to themselves or others.

Finally, The element of commitment refers to the desire to remain with the other person, due to the satisfaction experienced when sharing a relationship with them According to Sternberg, the author of the first of the theories of love that we are going to review, the sum of the intensity of the components will determine the total intensity of the feeling of love experienced.

But not only that, but the element that is most powerful of the three will be the one that dictates what type of love the person in question is feeling. Therefore, the possibilities, depending on the vertex of the triangle that stands out, will be intimate or warm love, if intimacy predominates, passionate love, if passion predominates, or committed love, if commitment predominates.

Likewise, depending on the presence of none, some or all of the components, and all their combinations, Stenberg speaks in this model about eight different possibilities, ranging from no love to consummated love, and synthesizing the different modalities in which a person can love.

2. Color wheel theory

The second of the theories of love that we must know is that of the color wheel. In this case, the author is John Alan Lee, a psychologist originally from Canada It reads, through a graphic model represented by a wheel (which gives its name to the theory) with a triangle inside, a series of types of love that include three primary, three secondary and nine of a third level.

Those of the first level would begin with eros, which refers to the erotic or sexual component This way of loving would be sensual, with passion. If this type of love prevails, we would be facing a connection between two people based on intuition or what is known as a crush.

Another of the first-level types of love according to Lee is ludus, a name that refers to the game In this modality, what stands out is the desire to have a good time. Therefore, it will not stand out for a great connection but for the satisfaction of ephemeral pleasure.

It will complete the main triad of the theory of love at hand, the so-called storge In this case, the love referred to is that of a family nature. In this modality, a great commitment between the components does stand out. A loyalty typical of relationships and even more important friendships is forged.

After these three types, three others appear, in this case, secondary. The first of them is mania, a term used for some psychopathologies. And it precisely refers to that type of love that borders on madness. Within the theories of love, this type is referred to as obsessive, which establishes an unhealthy dependency.

The next would be agape, and its basis is altruism. It would be the purity of love, a selfless feeling, in which we act so that the other person has the best, without expecting anything in return. The author relates this type to religion.

The last of the secondary types of love is pragma, which corresponds to pragmatic love. It is the most rational, so it is far from the most romantic conception of love. The choice of a partner, therefore, would be made according to interests and expectations.

Lee ends his model with nine forms of tertiary love, which are actually the different possible combinations among all the previous ones.

3. Attachment theory

To finish with a tour of the main theories of love, we cannot fail to review the famous theory of attachment, one of the most important in evolutionary psychology. This model was promoted by John Bowlby, psychiatrist and expert in psychoanalysis. The key to this theory is the emotional bond that is established between two people

Generally, attachment theory is focused on that bond, referring to a child and his or her caregiver, who would act as the attachment figure. We are talking, therefore, about a type of family love, like that generated between a father or a mother with their child.

The authors establish a sensitive period, during the first three years of the child’s life, which is crucial to be able to establish attachment links with reference figures in a correct way. Depending on how this bond has developed, it could give rise to different forms of attachment. This being one of the theories of love, it is important to know those types.

The first of them would be the optimal one, secure attachment, the one in which the child knows that he has the care of the reference adult and therefore can explore his environment, knowing that he can return whenever he needs to. Anxious attachment is generated when the caregiver has overprotected the child. In the ambivalent, the caregiver’s response to the child’s needs is inconsistent.

The avoidant arises when the caregiver does not meet the child’s requirements. Finally, disorganized attachment involves situations of neglect and even abuse.

With the attachment model, we complete this tour of the main theories of love.