7 Tips To Improve The Relationship Between Teenagers And Their Parents

The stage of adolescence is a time of great physical and psychological changes in people. In fact, this phase of our development is very important to form our identity as adults. But why relationship between teenagers and their parents Is it affected during this stage?

Why is there a rift between teenagers and their parents?

• “We no longer know what to do with him/her”
• “He’s always away from home and we have no idea what he’s doing or who he’s with.”
• “Problems at home are affecting our relationship as a couple”
• “We are terrified that he will become addicted to alcohol or drugs”
• “Coexistence has become unbearable”
• “He spends the whole day locked in his room doing nothing”
• “There has been a significant drop in studies”

These are some of the concerns expressed parents of teenagers And the task of fatherhood and motherhood at this stage of life is especially difficult. It is a period characterized by multiple changes: physical, cognitive, emotional and social. A stage in which conflicts arise in the family and coexistence becomes very difficult. Because a teenager and an adult are different realities and, to a certain extent, incompatible. In this way, adolescents separate from their parents due to the following:

• They need to form their own identity: A fundamental part of adolescence involves psychologically breaking with parents to forge one’s own identity. The adolescent moves away from the family microcosm, where until now he felt protected and safe, to enter a new, uncertain and unknown space: the world of adults.
• He prefers his friends over his parents: On this path, peers become your main support network, with whom you will try to fit in to feel like an integral part and avoid rejection.
• They need to break the relationship with their parents: From there, they will break with everything their parents gave them, to build, piece by piece, their own identity. The way to achieve this is precisely by doing the opposite of what their parents told them they should do.
• They need to learn new things, but they are very bad at gauging the risks: What is the danger of practicing unsafe sex? How dangerous is it to drive on a wet road or with poor visibility? What can happen to them if they take drugs? In fact, their way of learning to take risks is by taking risks, with the positive and negative consequences that this entails. This is an important part of growing up. All of this makes them vulnerable beings, often overwhelmed by circumstances; in changeable, impulsive, temperamental, defiant girls and boys…

At this stage, parents feel confused and questioned in their role as educators. It is crucial to ask for help if parents need to understand how their children’s behaviors affect them. adolescent children, to interpret what is happening in their relationships with them and to make decisions regarding their own attitudes and behaviors to make changes that benefit them and their children. In short, to persevere in your educational role and not throw in the towel. If during this stage you are experiencing too many difficulties with your adolescent, we recommend that you go to a professional psychologist.

Guidelines for parents of teenagers

There are a series of tips that will help you improve your relationship with your adolescent children during this stage of rebellion:

1. Become aware that this is a stage: One of the main objectives has to do with raising awareness about the adaptive and functional dimension of children’s behavior, so that the “challenging and sometimes unbearable child” does not prevent them from seeing the “adaptive adolescent.”
2. Learn to persevere in educational work trusting in your own abilities: decide how they want to live this stage of life, what style of parent they want to be with their children and what prevents them from placing themselves in that place.
3. Grant them independence: It is vital that parents begin to learn to give them autonomy progressively while still emphasizing clear and precise limits.
4. Work on your own emotions: It is normal that before teenagers be difficult at times. But it is important that parents learn to manage their own emotions to act with greater serenity and firmness.
5. Talk openly: Furthermore, to build a bond between adolescents and parents, it is important that they learn to open new conversations that allow them to get closer to their children and reach compromises with them.
6. Respect your privacy: The last thing a parent should do is break the boundaries of privacy with their children. Doing so can be counterproductive, as they will stop trusting your words and advice.
7. Support them in their decisions: To build a strong bond between teenagers and their parents It is crucial that they support their children’s decisions. You can always give them advice, but never force them to do what you really think is the right thing (as long as this does not go beyond the established norms).

In short, it is important to enjoy a unique and unrepeatable stage in the lives of both parents and children. Remember that the influence you have on your children depends on the quality of the relationship you build, not on your power. That is, at this stage it will not help you to threaten them, lose your temper or even punish them. In fact, these behaviors tend to encourage teenagers to further rebellion against their parents.