Improve Your Quality Of Life Through Emotional Regulation
Have you ever noticed that emotions are always present in our daily lives and yet, generally, they are not usually studied in school or high school? Joy, disgust, anger, sadness, fear or surprise are the most basic emotions that we can normally find in our routine. Even so, today, there are many people who reach adulthood with difficulties when it comes to recognizing, expressing or managing them, but, on the contrary, they do know how to solve a math problem or know the rivers of the geography of their country. .
Although, currently, more attention is being paid to the emotional area of the human being, years ago this area was neglected and, therefore, this still has an impact on many families. In fact, We may be inclined to pay more attention to how our child behaves (“behaves well or behaves badly”) and less to how he or she feels (“he/she is angry, he/she is sad, he/she is overwhelmed”), on some occasions, we have even made the mistake of invalidating his/her emotions, for example, saying phrases like “you get angry over stupid things” or “don’t be angry.” sad, if that’s nothing”, when perhaps our son/daughter does give it importance.
Growing up in an environment where emotions go unnoticed can lead us to have serious difficulties in developing good emotional intelligence and, therefore, end up being adults with limited abilities to put emotional regulation into practice. This, in turn, can have a significant impact on the individual’s quality of life.
Generally, the regulation of our emotions It is learned through the relationships we establish with our main attachment figures: our parents or caregivers. When we are little, these are the ones that teach us what to do with what happens to us and, probably, we will maintain the strategies learned at this stage into our adulthood.
Emotional regulation, according to Thompson (1994), can be defined as those processes responsible for monitoring, evaluating and modifying emotional reactions particularly its intensity and characteristics over time, with the aim of achieving one’s goals.
In fact, difficulties in emotional regulation could increase the chances of presenting significant psychological difficulties (for example, behavioral disorders), physical health problems, complications in social adjustment and social competence, etc. This could, in turn, impact the deterioration of interpersonal relationships and proper functioning in daily life.
More simply, emotional regulation is the ability we have to confront and manage our own emotions. It makes sense to think that, if our ability to manage our emotions is good, this will have a positive impact on our daily lives. It is not about controlling, denying or avoiding them, but about understanding what they are for and learning to manage them in each case ; Knowing the relationship between what we think, feel and how we act will be very useful for this.
In this sense, we could say that emotional regulation has several phases or steps that we can take into account.
1. Emotional awareness
First of all, emotional awareness is important. Thus, it is of great relevance knowing how to identify the emotions we are feeling and also understand the function they are fulfilling at that particular moment We can answer questions like: How do I feel? What emotions are they? Why do I feel this way? What could be the point of feeling this way?
2. Acceptance
Secondly, acceptance. Understand that all emotions are valid, since, when they appear, they are fulfilling a certain function (for example, when we are faced with a dangerous situation, we feel fear and, therefore, we activate ourselves, emitting a fight or flight response, favoring our survival).
This part, acceptance, can be somewhat complicated, since it consists of not judging what we are feeling and, on many occasions, we tend to classify those emotions we feel as “positive” or “negative”. However, as I said, there are no “good” or “bad” emotions, they are all valid and serve a function.
3. Management
Finally, thirdly, Once we accept what we are feeling, we are ready to face and manage it Later you will be able to learn some strategies that will allow you to adaptively manage your emotions. This, in turn, could allow self-management of one’s own subjective well-being, related to perceived quality of life.
Is emotional regulation related to quality of life?
The WHO defines “quality of life” as the individual’s perception of his or her position in life within the cultural context and value system in which he or she lives and with respect to his or her goals, expectations, norms and concerns. In some studies, in order to operate with the concept of “quality of life”, it can be defined as the perceived level of well-being derived from each person’s evaluation of objective and subjective elements in different dimensions of their life
Currently, lines of research study whether emotions play a role in people’s evaluation of their quality of life. Sometimes, emotions can be understood as a significant interpretation of reality, producing, in turn, a specific response on the part of the individual, thus defining specific consequences for the person. In fact, it has been shown to be good emotional regulation strategies. They form a protective factor against behaviors that threaten one’s own life, such as suicide
In this sense, having a good ability to regulate our emotions can have benefits such as:
These benefits, among others, address different areas of our life, which would indicate, in general, that emotional regulation can facilitate the adequate achievement of our objectives or goals in different areas of life. In this sense, in a study carried out by Lacouture et al. (2016) it is concluded that There is a significant inverse relationship between the perception of quality of life and the difficulties that individuals present when regulating their emotions Therefore, it seems that the capacity for emotional regulation could influence, in a general way, the perception of the quality of life of individuals. But… What characteristics does a person have who is not able to adequately regulate their emotions?
I’m not regulating my emotions when…
It is likely that people who have difficulties regulating their emotions appropriately are characterized by experiencing intense, uncomfortable and/or strong emotions, which can lead to processes of anxiety, panic, depression or fear.
These emotions can be so unpleasant for the person who feels them that is able to perform certain actions or avoid some situations so as not to have to feel them In this sense, when we avoid these experiences, life becomes increasingly limited in different contexts (school, work, family, friends, etc.), also interfering with the achievement of goals or plans. Ultimately, the source of discomfort would be caused by the way we relate to our emotions.
Different strategies to regulate my emotions.
We can regulate our emotions in different ways. It must be taken into account that there are two types of regulation: adaptive and maladaptive regulation.
Strategies for adaptive emotional regulation:
Social relationships.
Meditation practice, mindfulness activities.
Breathing exercises.
Practice physical activity or sport.
Acceptance of the emotion and search for the meaning it has. Problem resolution.
Training in assertive communication.
Self-care activities related to our tastes or preferences: relaxing shower, good rest, careful eating, listening to music, painting…
Cognitive restructuring technique: consists of reinterpreting the situation we are experiencing in a more functional way for us, creating more adaptive thoughts. This way we have the possibility of changing the impact it has on our emotional state.
Etc.
Strategies maladaptive emotional regulation:
Avoidance of emotion, constant distraction.
Excessive worry about the problem, going into a loop, rumination.
Substance use.
Abusive use of social networks, food…
Self-abandonment: locking yourself at home, leaving your routine…
Aggressive behaviors.
Blaming or getting angry for feeling the unpleasant emotion.
Etc.
Taking all of the above into account, putting emotional regulation strategies into practice in an adaptive way in the different areas of our lives can have repercussions, in general, on the subjective perception of well-being. And therefore, influence the assessment of quality of life What are you waiting for to start practicing emotional regulation and improve your quality of life?
Author: Maribel Martín Sánchez, General Health Psychologist at the RapportPsicología center.
