‘My Partner Has Depression And Wants To Be Alone’: 6 Tips To Deal With This Situation
Does your partner have depression and distance themselves from you? Do you want to help them, but you don’t know how? She enters and discovers the reason and tips to deal with it.
Depression is one of the most common psychological disorders in the entire population and has important implications for the well-being of those who suffer from it. Unlike other psychological disorders, depression is usually widely known, we can all have an idea of its symptoms. When we usually talk about depression, a person who is sad and who has lost interest in their daily activities comes to mind. However, there are many other symptoms that we sometimes overlook and that are important to understand the behavior of a person with depression.
If you have come this far because your partner has depression and you don’t quite understand why he or she tells you that he doesn’t want to see you anymore or who now wants to be alone, this article will help you understand their behavior and give you advice on how to address the situation.
How do I know if my partner has depression? Symptoms
Depression, like other psychological disorders, despite being associated with specific symptoms that must be met for its diagnosis, the reality is that not all people with depression will behave exactly the same. We must always keep in mind that each person is different and that the same disorder can vary depending on the life stage they are in, their culture, etc. However, there are certain signs that can make us suspect that our partner has depression:
He/she appears downcast, hopeless and sad almost all day.
He has abandoned those activities that he previously liked, such as sports, studies, etc.
There has been a change in your diet either because your intake has increased or it has decreased significantly.
He has problems sleeping the necessary hours or spends many hours sleeping.
He habitually has negative thoughts about himself (‘I’m useless’, ‘I’ll never be of any use’, ‘I can never be happy’, ‘my life no longer has meaning’, ‘it’s all my fault’, etc.)
Has he verbalized that he has trouble concentrating or have you noticed that it takes a lot of effort for him to make decisions.
Sometimes, your partner becomes irritable about things that at first glance don’t seem to be that important and that didn’t bother him or her before.
Your partner gets enough rest, but feels low on energy.
When you observe your partner, you see that their motor behavior is agitated or very slow. For example, your partner gets dressed at a slower pace or performs his/her daily activities in a hectic manner.
Presents thoughts related to death, whether they are thoughts of suicide without a specific plan, suicide attempts, or you have learned that you have a specific plan to carry it out.
It is common for you to feel disconcerted and sad if you see that your partner’s behavior has changed and that he no longer wants to see you. No matter how much they have explained their situation to you and why they feel that way, it is normal for you to feel hurt. undervalued and consequently, you don’t quite understand why your partner walks away when he needs your help the most. It is common to think that the most “normal” thing when a person is unwell is for them to take refuge in their loved ones and perhaps you wonder if they have lied to you, if has used depression as an excuse to leave you etc.
The reality is that these types of situations are very common when a person has depression since the symptoms it entails can cause the person to stop enjoying the time they spend as a couple and, therefore, end up rejecting her This rejection can also be reflected in the sexual aspect and that your partner avoids you sexually Furthermore, it is common for people who have depression to have feelings of guilt and low self-esteem, which can lead to them wondering whether or not they “deserve” their partner. In fact, one study showed that nearly 50% of people who had had a breakup had a moderate or severe level of depression.
If your partner is depressed and you no longer know how to manage it, here are some tips:
Don’t minimize the situation: Sometimes, either because the situation hurts us or because we are unaware of the symptoms of a disorder, we minimize the situation thinking that by doing so we are going to help our partner. It is important that instead of doing that, you ask what you can do for him or her, avoiding phrases like: ‘You shouldn’t be like this with everything you have’, ‘You should do your part to be better’, ‘Don’t cry’, etc
Avoid pressuring and blaming: It is normal that if your partner asks you for time off you feel very distressed. However, no matter how much you insist that he make a decision, that will not make him decide to continue with the relationship. If he has asked you for time, it is best that you respect his space since otherwise his feelings of guilt will increase.
Do not overprotect him or assume his responsibilities: It is common that when a person we love is unwell, we adopt an overprotective attitude. However, depression is normally accompanied by feelings of worthlessness and if you assume her responsibilities, you will not help her to gradually carry out those activities that she previously enjoyed.
Don’t force him to do activities: Sometimes, with the goal of making the person feel better, we insist that the person do activities that we believe will be good for them. However, it must be taken into account that depression is a psychological disorder and that the person has not chosen to feel this way. Instead of pressuring him/her, you can suggest sharing an activity that you think he/she may be more willing to do. If, for example, your partner does not want to go out, you can suggest doing something at home and little by little, propose other activities, but without insisting or forcing.
Assess if you can manage the situation: Having a partner with depression is not an easy situation, especially whether or not you consider leaving the relationship since you can feeling unwanted by your partner That is why it is important that you assess whether you are really going to be able to manage the discomfort that this entails. It is normal that, sometimes, we do not know how to deal with certain experiences and that does not make you a bad person. If you decide to continue, it is important that you also take care of yourself and not stop doing those activities that make you happy. You should always keep in mind that even if you have depression (or another psychological disorder) that does not justify your partner makes you feel bad
Ask for professional help: Depression is a psychological disorder that requires professional help so that its severity can be evaluated and, therefore, treatment planned to overcome it. Furthermore, as we have already mentioned, it is common for people with depression to have suicidal ideation, so it is essential that they be treated by a qualified professional.
Sometimes depression can be confused with another psychological disorder or the symptoms can be related to a physical illness. That is why it is important to go to a professional so that they can perform an evaluation and issue an accurate diagnosis.
