Why Running Away From Your Emotions Is The Worst Mistake You Can Make?
Being in the presence of our emotions without fear, without guilt and without shame is the key to begin to release the blockages that stop us from taking steps towards our projects in adult life.
Calming the soul without taking the pill of avoidance or escape is true inner work, which invites us to face what we fear so much: reaching a certain age without being “successful”, loneliness or fear. of feeling lost, or continuing in that job that makes us feel unhappy.
We have been taught that an achievement is more important than embracing ourselves with compassion and acknowledging our pain We have been taught to play at being heroines and heroes, there is no worse mistake than this.
Emotions are our internal compass; Not knowing how to manage them leads us to create wounds that in adult life are chains that weigh on the body, on decisions, on the inability to achieve our projects, or leaving places and relationships for fear of loneliness.
In childhood, especially, we form a series of emotional programming that We activate in situations that we experience as threatening
For example, if we were overprotected as children, we may develop a shy personality: it will be difficult for us to trust our abilities and we will feel panic about living in situations where we have to put our abilities to the test, so we prefer to flee, with few spaces available. where we feel safe to be ourselves.
Until we become fully aware that Running away is just the mechanism we learned to use to avoid pain If we feel rejected or inferior, we will continue to see life through this lens that we know as personality, the product of a combination of several aspects:
All these, they shape our unconscious patterns and they are the source to recognize what leads us to feel blocked. Giving ourselves the opportunity to connect with the emotional part that shadows us, that is, that leads us to be reactive, is to be able to question the personality on which we have built a way of seeing reality and through emotions we imprint a certain strength and intensity.
What is the challenge in stopping running away from those overflowing emotions that frighten us so much?
Recognize that they come from unresolved emotional needs, and that we learned certain strategies so that they were compensated. Let’s take an example, “being the good girl”, this character that I find myself in consultation with so much: due to the desire to be seen by mom, dad, caregivers…
We become a character who does not know how to say “no” and wants to satisfy everyone (along with the fact that, socially, this is what is expected of the role of being a woman); There will come a time when we have already rehearsed this pattern so much that we end up identifying ourselves.
In adulthood it will limit us when it comes to bringing our projects to life, because building them means giving up the expectations that others have of us. If you follow me here, my invitation is: don’t run away more than it hurts you! The pill will not be effective forever, go straight to recognizing those personality programs that have led you to act automatically.
The moment the overflowing emotions arrive, go quietly, feel the discomfort they generate, connect with the child inside, accompany him/her so that he/she stops seeing the world as a threat, so that he/she no longer negotiates his/her being. in need of validation.
When we allow ourselves to inhabit all that emotionality, there will come a time when a part of us will invite us to calm
This way, the part of us that is the seed of serenity will begin to become visible and allows us to be with the child again as an adult, to tell her: you are enough, here and now you are doing well. The key will always be to return to ourselves again, to learn to mother and father ourselves to stop looking outside for what is already inside.
