Psychological Abuse: 7 Signs That You Are Suffering From Emotional Abuse

You may have ever felt in a situation of emotional abuse. Maybe you feel that your partner is not treating you as he should but you don’t know to what extent this type of behavior is normal. The psychological violence and psychological abuse They are more present than we could imagine in our relationships. Despite this, emotional abuse is not very visible today.

What is psychological abuse?

We could define the psychological abuse or psychological harassment as a way to control the other person through the use of emotions. The psychological abuser will use her words to criticize, shame, blame or manipulate his partner or the other person. So much so that when this happens we talk about emotional violence since it causes psychological damage to the victim.

Therefore, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a pattern of psychological harassment in the couple or relationship. So much so that when someone suffers from this psychological gender violence they end up losing their self-esteem and having repercussions on their mental health.

The objective of this emotional abuse It ends up being to control the victim in all its aspects so that it ends up being a kind of possession by the psychological abuser. In many cases, the victim of this emotional abuse often feels trapped and is too afraid to leave.

What is a psychological abuser like?

He psychological abuser They are normally a person who needs to feel powerful and in control of the relationship, which is why they will try to gradually override their partner to put themselves above them. This domination will be done subtly at first through emotional blackmail and by generating feelings of guilt in the other person. This manipulation is not systematic, if it were the partner would realize it and could leave it, that is why it is usually intermittent with moments in which there is a total surrender to the person and they are placed at the same level of hierarchy. As the person feels more insecure, more dependent on him and more alone, that is when more direct aggressive behaviors and constant imposition appear. In most cases, the psychological abuser has these characteristics:

• Intolerance: In the profile of psychological abuser We find those people who do not tolerate the difference. There are many occasions in which people who engage in emotional abuse tend to have very inflexible and recurring thoughts. So much so that most of their opinions tend to be prejudices and negativity towards others.
• Manipulator: The people who exercise the role of psychological abuser They are born manipulators. In most cases, they may not even realize that they are actually being manipulative with others.
• Sensitive: Although this trait may not make sense to us at first glance, the reality is that a psychological abuser He is not used to managing his emotions well. That is why they tend to be very sensitive to situations that are not under their control because they can cause emotional harm. The psychological abuser profile is usually much more likely to suffer from depression or anxiety.
• They feel alone: He psychological damage that they exert on their victims is because deep down they feel very alone despite having people around them. So much so that one of the characteristics of a toxic relationship is precisely trying to isolate the other person so that they feel so alone.

Although these are the general traits of a person who exercises emotional abuse there are some attitudes that can make you see that you are really in front of a psychological abuser in a couple or in any relationship.

How does a psychological abuser act?

There are some features to know how to detect psychological abuse Among the most common cases, the following situations of psychological damage are usually replicated.

1. He wants explanations of everything: Suddenly one day you realize that you have to give explanations for everything you do, not necessarily because the psychologically abused person (be it a woman or a man) asks you to but to avoid an argument. You see yourself asking permission for what you do and don’t do, who you go with and when you come back. Plus, you may end up doing things you don’t initially want to do. This is one of the symptoms of psychological abuse which most often occur in emotional abuse.
2. You have reduced your social circle: You no longer go out with your friends, you don’t interact with boys or girls (you avoid contact even at work) and you see little of your family. Furthermore, you no longer do what you like so much, you have forgotten your hobbies either because psychological abuser He doesn’t like what you like or because doing them means having to give explanations. You see yourself alone and you don’t have hobbies alone, only with your partner. That is to say, you are increasingly alone in the face of psychological abuse and emotional violence.
3. Undervalues ​​you: If you have had a problem at work, he tells you that it’s not that big of a deal or that you complain about everything. He does not support you or understand you when you explain your point of view. It seems that the psychological abuser only takes into account the little he does for you, and not everything you do for him or her. In this way it not only causes you a psychological damage instantly but it also makes you lower your self-esteem and your own self-confidence.
4. It takes away the importance of your personal achievements and gradually cancels you out: Subtle phrases or small sarcastic jokes usually appear that when done consistently you end up believing. In the emotional violence Of a psychological abuser, the ability to make his or her partner small is very present. So much so that one of the most common psychological abuse phrases is based precisely on making you look stupid any time you fail or try to do something for yourself.
5. Makes you dependent on him or her: Sometimes it can even make you leave your job and become financially dependent as well. The appearance of children can be a compelling reason but also the fact that the psychological abuser charge more than you or that you do not coincide in schedules. In this way, one of the ways to know how to recognize a psychological abuser or psychological violence will be precisely by looking at whether he or she wants you to achieve your work and personal goals.
6. You are always to blame: He has the ability to make you feel guilty about everything and you end up being the one who asks for forgiveness and who has to change his behavior. It even lists and reminds you of all the mistakes you have made in the past.
7. Use emotional blackmail: Emotional blackmail can appear with psychological abuse phrases as: “If you leave me I’m nobody”, “if you leave me I’ll kill myself”, “who is going to love you more than I love you?”. This way, when there are serious arguments or you are seriously considering leaving them, they become perfect for a while or they become so depressed that it makes you consider giving them another chance.

If you identify yourself with many of these signs, it is very likely that you are under a psychological abuse situation In these cases, it is vital that you try to report the emotional abuse or go to a mental health specialist to help you get out of this relationship full of psychological violence.

How to stop a psychological abuser?

There are some methods that you can get out if you think you meet all the signs of psychological abuse that we have named. Despite this, it is vital to have the help of a professional in these situations.

1. Analyze the signs: You have to be alert for those first moments in which they appear signs of psychological abuse When one of them appears, do not allow it, set your limits and conditions so that this emotional violence does not happen again.
2. Strengthen your social circle: Call your friends, meet them, and don’t lose contact with them or your family. If it is too late, reinforce your hobbies and perhaps with this you will be able to meet new people. Another option is to look for hobbies that involve interacting with people. It is important that the psychological abuser Understand that you are an independent person and that you must change to continue with you since you do have people to trust around you.
3. Evaluate your criteria: When I question your achievements and opinions, think about the veracity of your judgment. Don’t let anyone make you think that you are stupid or that what you think or say is absurd. In these cases you should give more importance to your mental health than to the person next to you.
4. Cut off discussions: When you see that he starts to blame you for past mistakes or that he is turning the tables, cut off the discussion and return to it later, when you have reaffirmed your reasons and arguments.
5. Promote your individuality: Do things alone, manage to maintain your independence and self-sufficiency. Leaving dependency behind will make the psychological abuser I don’t feel so much power over you.
6. Work on an exit plan: If you think that the person who does psychological abuse It can get worse, it is vital that you tell your most trusted circle and try to get out of this situation as soon as possible. In many cases you can consult with a specialist to give you a hand in these critical situations.

Although we may not realize the psychological violence It can have many consequences for both us and our closest loved ones. For this reason it is vital to identify it and put an end to it as soon as possible.