Being jealous is as common as feeling afraid. Being a little jealous is not so unpleasant for the person who feels it, because it rekindles desire, and it is not so serious for the person who receives the jealousy, because they feel valued. But jealousy can be experienced as hell and lead us to become delirious while we imagine, to sink into deep anguish, to go crazy with rage, to excesses and, as a consequence, to addictions.
Sometimes, we think that jealousy is the way to realize that we love the other person and that we do not want anyone else to love it, nor for our love to feel desires for another person and/or thing.
The truth is that you cannot talk about jealousy without understanding its double, envy We feel envy when we are excluded from the joy, which we want to possess. Jealousy appears in a love triangle, while envy can lead to hatred towards the other. Everything that makes others greater is experienced by some as a diminution of oneself.
We can deduce, then, that envy can appear after jealousy, because that other person has a joy that we do not possess. Envy points to the impossible, which is possessing what the other has, while jealousy is born from the fear of losing what we already have.
The soul of the jealous
The soul of the jealous person oscillates between love, hate and envy Therefore, jealousy is more complex than envy. The jealous person is envious of the person who gets the attention of the object of his love, and hates the person in love with him because he has feelings for another. However, at the same time he increases his desire and wants to possess his beloved even more.
For this reason, which is maddening in my opinion, the jealous person can go from the strongest union to an immense abyss of separation in a matter of seconds. Jealous people cannot tolerate even the slightest alteration in the bond that unites them with the other person.
Jealousy is passionate
Jealousy makes us feel humiliated, hurt and angry. Feel jealous opens the door to our imagination, the jealous person looks for concrete evidence, on a phone, on a piece of paper, on whatever, to put an end to the feeling of lack of control that invades them. Loss of control is an unbearable feeling.
Personally, I can’t stand jealousy or jealous people. This motivates me to work with my patients and help them to be safe, independent, with a defined ego structure, and accept the obvious that you cannot act on your will or desire. about the desire of the other. Once they understand this, they live more peacefully and happily.
The anger of the jealous
The anger of the jealous person causes agitation in the body, and he searches for evidence, the more he searches, the more he believes he finds. The flip side of this anger is that the loved one becomes more desirable at the same time because the loved one desires from the outside, and some perverts use this as an aphrodisiac, which helps them maintain the couple, but only for a time.
Is jealousy a disease?
Although jealousy is normal in a relationship of two, the lack of control they cause if they become something permanent is more similar to madness since the imagination can fly very high or lead them directly to hatred.
Jealousy leads one person to depend on another, to tempestuous confrontations, and even to a separation that can lead to the destruction of the other or a crime of passion.
Sometimes the jealous person reflects and feels ridiculous ; and guilt appears, added to the jealousy that does not leave him alone. Jealousy is far from being something that is enjoyed, it devours us and ends up making us melancholic.
Loving someone always makes us a little more vulnerable and we are exposed to passionate anguish. We are afraid that the other person will disappear, therefore, it is normal to feel jealous. Jealousy becomes pathological when the other is locked in a space where he can only see the reflection of oneself and his own insecurity.
