Active Listening: The Key To Communicating With Others
The active listening It is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice. However, it can be difficult to master, as you have to be patient and take time to develop it properly.
In this article you will find a summary of the characteristics of this communication skill and some tips to apply active listening to your conversations with others.
Active listening refers, as its name indicates, to listen actively and mindfully But not only that, but we must express that we are listening carefully. Thus, active listening has an internal facet, based on the interest we put in focusing on what they tell us and understanding it, and another external facet, which consists of reflecting in our gestures and reactions that we are attentive to what the other person is saying. has to tell us. Therefore, active listening is not about hearing the other person, but about being totally focused on the message that the other individual is trying to communicate and making sure that he knows that he is not wasting time talking to us.
Although it may seem that active listening is an easy task, This type of listening requires an effort from our cognitive and empathic abilities Knowing how to listen is very important in communication, and although it may not seem like it, on many occasions we spend a lot of time paying attention to what we think and what we say instead of actively listening to the other.
Active listening is not passive listening, but refers to the ability to listen not only to what the person is directly expressing, but also to the feelings, ideas or thoughts that underlie what they are trying to express. In active listening, the empathy It is important to put yourself in the place of the other, but also emotional validation, acceptance and feedback, because you must listen without judging and it is necessary to communicate to the other person that you have understood them. For this reason, there are two elements that facilitate active listening, they are the following:
What not to do in active listening
Below we review some mistakes that can occur when listening to the other person:
Signs that indicate correct active listening
There are several signs that show the other person that you are actively listening to them. Below are the verbal and non-verbal cues of active listening, so you can be able to adapt your communication style towards a better understanding and comprehension of your interlocutor.
1. Non-verbal cues
People who actively listen often show the following non-verbal cues:
Eye contact
He eye contact It shows the other person that you are paying attention to what they say and feel and can also show sincerity. Combining eye contact with other verbal and non-verbal cues shows interest in what the other person is expressing.
light smile
This assures the interlocutor that the information they are transmitting is being well received and motivates them to continue speaking. Therefore, it acts as a reinforcer, in addition to giving a message of empathy.
The posture gives information to the sender and the receiver in the communication process. The person who actively listens tends to lean slightly forward or sideways while sitting.
Mirroring
He automatic reflection either mirroring of any facial expression of the speaker can be a sign of attentive listening. These expressive gestures seem to indicate sympathy and empathy in emotional situations. On the contrary, conscious imitation of (non-automatic) facial gestures seems to be a sign of inattention.
No distraction
The active listener will not be distracted, since his attention is focused on the verbal and non-verbal signals that the listener emits.
2. Verbal cues
Send words of reinforcement or compliments
This type of verbalizationsreinforce the speaker’s speech by conveying that one validates their point of view. Phrases like “you did very well”, “I like it when you are sincere” or “you must be very good at playing soccer” show attention on the part of the person listening. Although these phrases can be positive, they should not be used excessively, as they can distract the sender.
Paraphrase
Paraphrasing refers to verify or express in one’s own words what the speaker seems to have just said In this way, it is possible for the sender to inform the receiver if the latter has understood the message correctly. An example of paraphrasing could be: “Do you mean that you felt this way…?”
Resume
A person who masters the skill of active listening usually resume what the other interlocutor has just communicated to you. This helps make it clear that you understand the other’s point of view before stating your own.
The listener can show that they have been attentive by asking relevant questions. This way you can clarify information that you have received and show interest in what the sender is trying to communicate.
