Intuitively, we may think that the best way to avoid relapsing into addictive behavior is to block the thoughts that can lead us to it. It makes sense, right? If we do not think about it, we will not be tempted to consume, gamble or watch adult films on the Internet
This type of action, often recommended, can, in fact, achieve short-term success, something that is very encouraging for the addict in rehabilitation and for the people who are supporting him in the process.
Furthermore, it is very motivating for the person. It makes me feel in control. Let him perceive that he is managing to overcome “his problem.” It gives you a feeling of accomplishment that is very contagious and tempting even if you can’t suppress all thoughts of consumption. When he does it, he experiences it (and we experience it) as an important step forward in his recovery. He is “defeating the enemy”, “winning the battle” and other very online expressions of the “fight against drugs”.
But, unfortunately, what really happens is quite the opposite.
Pushing aside thoughts about addictive behavior is a terrible idea. A technique not only destined for failure, but may actually interfere with recovery.
Addictive thoughts are never random, so the times they occur are extraordinary opportunities to learn what motivates the unwanted behavior.
Any event, circumstance, interaction, thought or feeling that occurs just before, is the key to understanding what seems to be sustaining the addictive behavior, why we need it. Walking away just as it happens is the last thing we should do if we have any hope of controlling it
Logically, paying attention to an isolated episode of thoughts about consumption or another undesirable habit is not enough to understand what underlies a particular addiction. But the more effort we dedicate to the precipitating circumstances of that addictive thought, the easier it will be to solve the mystery that leads to repeating something that we do not consciously desire.
Focusing on these first moments in which the unwanted thought appears has immediate value Even if the precipitating factors don’t seem clear, thinking about them creates a helpful separation from the feelings of helplessness that always precede and trigger them. Observing these thoughts, without judging them, and learning about them, is a wonderful antidote to the feeling of inevitability that seems to accompany any relapse process.
Suppression of addictive thoughts
Suppressing addictive thoughts is also part of another problem. Addiction is seen as an enemy to defeat. Doing so makes the person suffering from addiction see something that is part of them as uncontrollable, reinforcing the feeling of helplessness that we mentioned in the previous paragraph.
Trying to suppress these thoughts momentarily restores the appearance of control But you can’t change the fact that these thoughts appear at the most unexpected moments.
Instead of thinking this way, it is much more appropriate to see addiction as a symptom with a specific motivation and emotional purpose. What we must understand to overcome it. Instead of looking away, perhaps it is better to learn from it.
The role of willpower in addiction
Working to avoid these uncomfortable thoughts also means rejecting another incorrect and widespread notion; the false and destructive idea that addiction can be overcome with willpower. This point of view, which has led to the belief that people can control addiction only by trying harder, is a well-established myth that has led to people with addiction being labeled as “weak” or lacking “character.”
Many people believe that what the addict needs is greater self-control But in fact, what often prevents an addict from recovering is trusting exclusively in his will.
Relying exclusively on will makes the addicted person think that we can have an almost immediate solution, without putting in too much effort, just by proposing it. It is the “addict way” of thinking. Controlling the uncontrollable is the goal.
The person makes a film that, at first, develops according to the proposed script. But soon it begins to go its own way, causing that “normality” that the addict wants to appear to crumble and lead to frustration or relapse.
Seeking help against addiction
Only the recognition of the loss of control and the need for professional external help can allow us to begin a long path that leads to recovery.
That is why understanding addiction is an individual reconstruction process that involves dismantling ways of reacting and functioning that the addicted person has learned throughout his or her life.
Of course, those who suffer from addiction have willpower. But he must use it to change and build a new life, not to ignore and avoid the old one. Denying what has led you to a self-destructive lifestyle can, in fact, precipitate you back into it
The psychological mechanisms of addiction
Like any other psychological symptom, addiction arises from emotional issues, largely unconscious, and attempts to deal with them. Emotional symptoms, which we all have, cannot only be managed through conscious effort.
People with addiction cannot stop their symptomatic behavior with their will, just as happens with people with depression, anxiety or phobias. In this, addictions take the prize of social misunderstanding of mental disorders.
Working to overcome an addiction is hard, but it is not about suppressing thoughts. It is a task of observing our most complex feelings, motivations and conflicts, especially in the moments when repeating the addictive behavior crosses our mind.
Self-observation is not easy for anyone, and It is even more complicated if our thoughts drive us to do something we would not want to do
Therefore, it is especially relevant to identify the emotional factors that lead the addicted person to feel helpless, and lead to unwanted mental processes. This can help us find ways to manage them, before the whole process that can lead to a relapse is triggered. Ultimately, it is not about denying one’s own thoughts, but about understanding them.
