Anticipatory Grief: What It Is, Stages, Types And How To Deal With It

Pain is part of a person’s life. As we go through experiences, we usually have various losses. Who has not separated from a person with whom they had forged a loving relationship? Has a loved one ever died? How many times have we felt sad because of the loss of an important job?

However, when we talk about anticipatory grief, we are referring to a process that is related to the assimilation of a loss that will occur in the future. In this sense, this process involves going through grief following the loss of a significant person.

Now, to understand this phenomenon, we must know when anticipatory grief begins. And the fact that it is anticipated is that mourning begins even if the death of the loved one has not occurred. For this reason, it is not about the beginning of mourning once the person has died, but before the person dies.

To give greater clarity to this topic, anticipatory grief can be divided into five stages that determine it:

1. Denial: It consists of the difficulty in accepting that a loved one will no longer continue living. This idea is usually denied since it implies a change in the lives of people in the environment, which leads to avoid feelings of sadness at the fact.
2. Gonna: It is an emotion commanded by anger that represents the death of a loved person. After the person denies the event, anger usually appears as a response to the painful situation that is being transited. It should be noted that the anger here is with the situation, although sometimes it can also occur with the deceased person depending on the case.
3. Negotiation: Here the hope is presented that the loved one can return to life or that their death will be delayed. Furthermore, it is common for promises to change habits and behaviors if there is a possibility that the loved one will not die.
4. Depression: The characteristic of this stage is the feeling of sadness and emptiness What people who have lost loved ones feel. Because of this, a general reluctance and lack of interest in any area of ​​life may occur.
5. Acceptance: After having gone through the previous stages, the person can accept that the loved one will no longer return to life and can continue with their daily activities despite live with pain referring to the loss.

If you want to know more, consult our post The phases of grief.

Although grief can occur in different ways depending on the person, it is important to keep in mind that there are several types of grief regarding the losses that are experienced. Here we will locate the most important ones:

• Anticipated duel: As we mentioned previously, it consists of carrying out the grieving process before the loss occurs.
• Pathological grief: Here the loss is not accepted by the person who is grieving. This results in the grief lasting over time, since it has not been possible to get out of the denial phase. In this article we tell you how to overcome pathological grief.
• Absent mourning: In these circumstances, it is common for the person to deny painful situations that involve a loss. Consequently, this also refers to the avoidance of sadness associated with grief.
• delayed duel: The main characteristic is that the process begins after a period of time after the loss. In other words, grief does not begin when the loss has occurred but after months or years.
• Chronic grief: This definition is used when talking about a process that has no end, since the feelings of grief they do not subside over time. For this reason, chronic grief can last for years or continue indefinitely.
• inhibited duel: This name corresponds to the difficulty that a person who has had a loss may have in expressing their feelings. In tune with this, there is usually an avoidance of feelings of sadness and pain.
• Distorted Duel: Refers to the fact that the person relives feelings that are related to previous grief. Beyond the type of bond with the person who has been lost, the important thing about this type of grief is that the person can’t differentiate his feelings from one situation or another.
• Unauthorized Duel: The transcendental thing about this type of grief is that a person’s environment does not accept the grief they are going through. In this way, the environment disavows the mourning that is taking place.

In case you want to obtain more information, we recommend that you read the following post on Types of grief and their characteristics.

When a person goes through a very important loss in their life, it is crucial to understand how to deal with these types of situations since avoiding them can lead to problems that can arise in everyday life. Given this, we will mention in the following items the possible ways to face anticipated grief:

• Confrontation with the painful situation: Although grieving means experiencing moments of great anguish, loneliness and confusion, it is important to express the feelings that are linked to the loss in order to overcome them in the future.
• Psychological therapy: Psychological treatments provide tools to grieve. On the other hand, therapy consists of a space for the person to talk about everything that causes anxiety and discomfort in their life.
• Communication with loved one: This consists of the manifestation of feelings related to grieving with the loved one. This situation can be carried out through letters, imaginary dialogues, among others.

If any of the aforementioned points lead to difficulties that imply a certain severity, it is important to consult with a psychologist.

In case you liked this article about anticipatory grief: what it is, stages, types and how to deal with it; We encourage you to read How to get over the death of a loved one.

This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.

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