How long have we had the idea that negative emotions are bad? That is, to what extent have we been educated that the “negative” (or what seems negative) has to be avoided, minimized or suppressed?
Surely this education has always had a noble purpose, with the intention to help or instill a positive attitude towards life However, there are a large number of people for whom this idea of “rejection of evil” has turned out to have a double edge.
Lately there has been a lot of talk about emotions, and several topics in psychology that have been wanting to take the air for a long time have been brought to light. Therefore, it does not hurt to clarify concepts. To give a definition, and starting from the Rational Emotive Therapy founded by Professor Albert Ellis, emotions are understood as mental, physiological and behavioral events or events.
In other words, They can be understood as specific physiological activations to which our mind and body put a label In this way, it is accepted that emotions have a specific function, and the difference between “negative” and “positive” is given by their usefulness, both in terms of the world and in terms of ourselves (let’s not forget the latter).
For example, the sadness, which is generally considered negative, becomes especially useful at the time when it is necessary to vent or emotionally discharge ourselves in the face of a conflict that we do not know how to resolve. That is to say, could be positive
However, it would become negative when it was caused by an irrational idea, stopped serving as a discharge, or made it more difficult for us to achieve our goals.
What are dysfunctional emotions called?
If we mark the difference between emotions positive and negative At the point where they stop being useful, it would be beneficial to know if those that we normally classify as negative really are. These are some examples:
Concern vs. Anxiety
It is absolutely different to wish that something does not happen (worry) from eliminating the possibility of it happening (“this cannot happen and if it does it will be fatal”). It seems like only a slight difference, but it becomes enormous when you need to face an anxiety-inducing situation. Bad nerves can turn a slight worry into a world of fear, which on the other hand makes it impossible to face anything.
Therefore, the uselessness of anxiety is obvious, at least internally, which is very different from being activated or worried.
Sadness vs. Depression
The line between the two may seem fine, but on a mental level (let’s remember the mental dimension of emotions), the depressive state has a strong component of devaluation, that is, of mistreatment of oneself (“I’m worthless, I’m nothing.” “). Also in the dimension of time and intensity they are different, although these parameters are much more individual.
Specify that with depressed mood, in this case, reference is not made to depression as a clinical problem, but as a state of mind, which turns out to be, in addition to being of little use, quite harmful.
These two emotions are sometimes represented more as an evolution than as different states. That is, you get angry with yourself, and then you start to feel guilty about what you were angry about. The self-devaluation It is very common here, and as has already been sensed, it is of no use.
The blame It is the protagonist of an enormous number of clinical psychological problems. A poorly managed feeling of guilt can generate ways of thinking that are absolutely harmful to the person, unlike anger at oneself, from which learning can emerge.
Anger vs. Gonna
While the former may be a logical and indeed healthy reaction to a possible disagreement, it is the move to anger that turns it negative. In anger, a simple anger goes on to devalue the other. This is what typically happens on busy days, or when people get nervous; in any case, It is never useful in resolving the conflict
Furthermore, anger uses an enormous amount of mental and emotional resources, more than one often has. Anger at a disagreement relaxes emotional and mental tension, while anger produces more of both.
Double the negative, please!
It seems that maybe it is not so necessary to avoid the “bad”. However, the escape from it is logical; In the end, neitherNone of the emotions mentioned are pleasant, whether functional or not But, although none of them give us a smile or a laugh in themselves, on a psychological level there comes a point where the most obvious question arises:
To be happy, or to be mentally healthy, does one always have to be happy?
The emotion of negative valence (and I mean the one that produces a negative mood, regardless of its usefulness), before having this valence, is an emotion. We defined this term before. It only remains to add that Emotions are human, that is, humans are designed to create, experience and ultimately live all types of emotions, both negative and positive. And it turns out that sometimes, seeking to escape from an unpleasant mood, we end up experiencing one that harms us even more.
In consultation, the question “why me?” is constantly repeated. The answer is that emotions with negative affect (but possibly functional) simply occur. Admit it and come to terms with the fact That one is capable of feeling bad, and may also need it, is simply realizing that one is human.
