When we relate to others, we have to enter into a kind of game of tensions in which we have to fit our own perspective, on the one hand, and that of others, on the other. And this is not always easy since each individual has a series of different characteristics, beliefs and ways of acting.
Arrogant people are those who fail to take into account the perspective of others , and this is noticeable both in their social life and in the discomfort they cause in others. How to recognize them?
Characteristics of arrogant people
When it comes to detecting signs that help us determine whether or not we are dealing with an arrogant person, these traits can serve as guidance, although each individual is different.
1. They treat those who are not there with contempt
Arrogant people have a special tendency to detract from what others do, and to criticize. This is a way to try to gain “social value” in a relatively easy way and simple, although also cruel and deceitful, since the other is not there to defend themselves and the fact of bringing out their supposed imperfections creates the illusion that the person who is talking about them does not have those kinds of defects.
2. They do not pay attention to other people’s opinions
There is only one case in which especially arrogant people take into account the way others react to what they say: if there is clear rejection or disagreement. If not, the most common thing is who react very little to the opinions and points of view of others
3. They brag freely
Another type of behavior typical of arrogant people consists of appeal to their merits or privileges very easily even if the course of the conversation does not require it because topics related to those are not discussed.
This is, in short, another of those ways in which people with these propensities try to give themselves importance in their social life. In extreme cases, it is even possible to clearly lie, or overstate their achievements and not bring up their defects or imperfections.
4. They are cruel to the shyest
This is a way of creating a certain territoriality, showing everyone that you don’t have too many qualms about putting another person in a vulnerable situation, or even humiliating them, sometimes for no clear reason. In this way it is about establishing the idea that it is best to treat these arrogant people with deference.
This is a kind of blackmail : The importance given to them comes because this type of treatment is imposed, not because they have actually earned a leadership position or something similar.
How to treat them?
When interacting with arrogant people, and assuming that your objective is not to get involved in them to make them change for the better (something that requires time, effort and preparation that not everyone is willing to put on the table) but to do that the dialogue be as fluid and as uneventful as possible, you can follow these tips
1. Don’t show submission
Arrogant people tend to take advantage of the way others submit to them, something relatively common due to the arrogant attitude of the former. There are those who, automatically, spontaneously and semi-consciously, let themselves be carried away by that dynamic of domination that the arrogant person imposes in a conversation, and from the point of view of the party that “leads” that dialogue, this makes it possible to exploit that situation for their own benefit.
Therefore, It is important to be respected and express oneself assertively, without giving up one’s own opinions and interests, no matter how much that means being contrary.
2. Avoid dramas
Something common with arrogant people is to create a narrative framework (that is, a communicative context in which to interpret certain things and not others) in which any attempt to contradict them is seen as out of tone, an eccentricity. In this way, for example, by not treating them with deference or granting them special privileges they react as if we had said something ridiculous, sometimes even with a hint of paternalism and condescension.
Faced with this, which can even be considered a form of gaslighting, you have to stand firm. The criterion that oneself uses to relate to others is as valid as that of anyone else. It is advisable to return the dialogue to its normal course, without giving signs that we are trying to compensate for a grievance.
3. Get to the point
The best thing to counteract that pseudo-importance that the other person gives to themselves, It is best to simply not give it to yourself She treats her exactly the same as anyone else, but without showing surprise at her attempts to be dramatically displeased.
Maintaining a neutral and polite but assertive attitude is always good in these cases, and if you perceive that the conversation is going in a bad direction, it is best to leave cordially.