Avoidant Attachment (in Children And Adults): This Is How It Affects Us
Attachment is a type of emotional bond that occurs between two human beings and is associated with intimate relationships, such as those between mothers and children. People show different types of attachment that develop during early childhood and tend to remain stable during adolescence and adulthood.
In a very high proportion of cases, babies form secure attachments, but others fail to do so and instead show an insecure attachment; This in turn can be divided into ambivalent attachment and avoidant attachment. In this article we will describe The main characteristics of avoidant attachment in children and adults
A psychological aspect that affects us throughout life
John Bowlby, psychologist and psychiatrist influenced by psychoanalysis but also by ethology and evolutionism, developed the theory of attachment, according to which humans we are phylogenetically predisposed to form emotional bonds with those who care for us and provide us with security. Attachment has been studied primarily in babies, but also in adults.
Different authors have made classifications of attachment patterns based on their observations and research. In the 1960s and 1970s Mary Dinsmore Ainsworth conducted pioneering studies in the field of attachment using The experimental paradigm of the “strange situation” with which he evaluated the behavior of children when separated from their mother.
Thanks to his famous research, Ainsworth identified three attachment patterns: secure, avoidant or rejecting, and ambivalent or resistant These last two can in turn be categorized as “insecure attachment.” While 65% of babies showed a secure attachment pattern, 20% of babies were classified as avoidant and 12% as ambivalent.
Research has shown that the type of attachment remains stable throughout life in most people, although sometimes it can be modified, for example due to the educational style adopted by parents or significant life events, such as the death of an attachment figure.
In 1987, Cindy Hazan and Phillip R. Shaver studied attachment in adults through multiple response questionnaires and found that the proportion in which they presented patterns of secure, avoidant and ambivalent attachment was very similar to what Ainsworth had found in babies. .
Avoidant attachment in children
In Ainsworth’s strange situation experiment, avoidantly attached children became angry easily, They didn’t look for their mothers when they needed them, seemed indifferent to their absence and ignored them or behaved ambivalently when they returned. However, sometimes they were very sociable with strangers.
In contrast, babies with a secure attachment pattern were confident in exploring their environment and returned to their mother from time to time, seeking security. If the mother left the room the little ones cried and complained, and when she returned they seemed happy. They also had a lower tendency toward anger.
Ainsworth hypothesized that the attitude of these children hid states of emotional discomfort; Later studies showed that his heart rate was elevated, which gave support to the hypothesis. According to Ainsworth, babies with avoidant attachment had learned that communicating his emotional needs to the mother did not work and therefore they did not do it.
This was because they had had experiences of rejection of their approach and attachment-fostering behaviors by the primary attachment figure. He also stated that her needs had often not been met by his parents.
The behavior of babies with this type of attachment is paradoxical in the sense that it allows them to maintain a certain closeness with their loved ones, which provides the baby with a feeling of security while at the same time prevents them from responding with rejection to the approach according to Ainsworth.
In adults
Various investigations have studied the characteristics of attachment in adults using self-report questionnaires. Avoidant attachment is divided into two differentiated patterns during adulthood: the contemptuous-avoidant and the fearful-avoidant The presence of one or another pattern is probably due to specific life experiences.
The avoidant-contemptuous style manifests itself in an exaggerated need for independence and self-sufficiency, as well as to avoid other people depending on one. Many people with this attachment pattern believe that interpersonal relationships are not relevant and deny the need for intimacy with others, so they try not to develop it excessively.
People with this type of attachment usually hide and repress their feelings, They distance themselves from others when they feel rejected by them and behave in a way that prevents suffering such rejection. Different authors consider that the avoidant-contemptuous pattern has a function of emotional protection.
Similarly, those classified in the fearful-avoidant attachment category report that they desire close interpersonal relationships but have difficulty trusting and depending on others for fear of being emotionally hurt. Consequently, they feel uncomfortable in intimate situations.
This pattern has been identified most frequently in people who have been through significant grief or who have suffered trauma during childhood and adolescence. In many cases they feel dissatisfied with themselves and with the people with whom they have developed attachment bonds.
