We tell you the keys to become a good conversationalist.
There are people who have people skills, that is, very sociable people who are easy to get along with and who relate to others skillfully. They tend to be interesting people, individuals who are capable of having exceptional conversations that are also very interesting. They are people with ease not only in dealings, but also with words. In short, they are sociable, but, above all, they are good conversationalists.
There are others, however, for whom having a conversation and making it work attractive to others It is extremely difficult. This ability, which a priori may be inconsequential, since there are more open individuals and others more introverted, is a important element in some sectors, to the point that there are companies that value the social skill to deliver lectures or engage audiences during corporate presentations without boring the audience.
The team of psychologist Daniel T. Gilbert, from Harvard University, has published a series of studies in the specialized journal Psychological Science where he addresses this topic and offers the results of some studies on what the public likes and dislikes and what we can do to make our speeches work interesting and do not bore the listeners.
According to these articles, the keys to becoming a good conversationalist are the following:
Know what listeners want to hear
When we are going to talk to someone or present something we mistakenly think that our audience or the person with whom we are having the conversation will want to know what they do not know, that is, they will be attracted to data and information that they do not know, but this is not the case. Quite the opposite. This psychologist points out that what arouses the most interest are those facts that are known and have been experienced by others. And he gives the example of a movie. If we talk to someone about a movie and that someone has not seen it, this conversation will be more boring than if we talk about a movie that they have seen, where they can feel identified with the message that is transmitted and even interact.
Use data and references that are known to provide information
If new information about a specific project is going to be presented or a new advance in research is going to be presented, it is preferable always use information that the public knows and common data so that they do not lose the thread and end up disconnecting from the presentation. This complements the previous point and is demonstrated in one of the two experiments that the Harvard team carried out. In it, the speaker had to talk about a conference that he had already visualized and that some members of the audience also knew about. The result was that those who had also seen the video and knew what the speaker was talking about were more interested and rated the conference better than those who did not know the data that was recorded and had not seen said video.
Use common anecdotes to attract the public
The same happens with the common anecdotes. If we need to tell something, using anecdotes that we have all experienced will make the conversation more interesting, as the interlocutors will feel identified and they will understand what you want to convey. For this reason, these specialists advise that in presentations, especially on complex issues, anecdotes and common experiences be used to reach everyone.
This is where the second experiment comes into play, which tested comprehension and reactions to a conversation. When the interlocutor used family anecdotes or facts, the listeners were attracted, because they had experienced similar events and were able to understand what was being explained. In cases where this did not occur, listeners were lost, since when we speak we tend to highlight what is most important and leave data that we believe are not transcendental but that are essential for others to understand the message. Hence it is necessary to use common experiences.
