Benjamin Franklin Effect: What It Is And How It Influences Our Relationships
Our common sense makes us think that we do favors for people we like and that we deny them to those we don’t like. But is this really so? Or do we like those people for whom we have done favors?
The Benjamin Franklin Effect suggests that, really, it is not that we are nice to those we like, but that we like those to whom we have been good.
This curious psychological phenomenon has a lot to do with another very famous one: cognitive dissonance. Let’s discover below how the Benjamin Franklin effect occurs, its relationship with cognitive dissonance and some situations where it can occur.
The Benjamin Franklin effect, also called Ben Franklin, is a psychological phenomenon that involves a change in our perception of someone depending on how we have behaved towards him or her
Basically, this effect describes the situation in which, if we do a favor for someone who we initially didn’t like or were simply indifferent to, we will start to like them. Although our logic would make us think that we are nice to those people we like, the effect is to say that the relationship is inverse: first comes the action and then the perception.
We have the origin of this curious effect in the figure of Benjamin Franklin himself, known for being the inventor of the lightning rod and being one of the Founding Fathers of the United States.
The story goes that, When Franklin was in the Pennsylvania Legislature, there was a political rival who had once spoken against him Although we do not know the name of that opponent of Franklin, we know from the testimony of Ben himself that he was a man of fortune and education. Benjamin Franklin felt very disturbed by this animosity towards him, and for this reason he decided to win over his rival in a truly ingenious, intelligent and curious way.
Franklin, instead of offering the opponent a favor, asked him for it Knowing that he was a cultured man and that he owned a library of rare volumes, the resourceful Ben asked his political rival to lend her one of his books. The opponent lent him the book immediately, flattered at having been recognized as a literate man. Franklin returned the book to him after a week, with a note thanking him greatly for the favor.
When Franklin and his opponent met again in the Legislature, the gentleman spoke to him, something he had never done before, and did so with great politeness. It was from then on that a solid friendship was forged between the two men, which would last until his death. In fact, this anecdote is the practical demonstration of one of Benjamin Franklin’s great quotes: “It is more likely that someone who has already done you a previous favor will do you another favor than someone who owes it to you.”
The effect and cognitive dissonance
What is the explanation for such a counterintuitive phenomenon? It seems that the explanation for this effect occurring lies in the concept of cognitive dissonance. In short, cognitive dissonance refers to the situation of internal disharmony of our system of beliefs, values and emotions that we suffer. when we have two opposing or conflicting thoughts
For example, if we consider ourselves anti-racist but it turns out that we have discovered that our favorite music group has made discriminatory comments towards people of one race, then we will enter into an internal conflict: should we continue listening to the group, despite its racism? Should we stop listening to him, even if his music is our favorite?
The relationship between the Benjamin Franklin effect and cognitive dissonance It has to do with the very human need to want to please everyone If we ask a favor from a person who feels certain hostility towards us, he finds himself in an emotional dichotomy: on the one hand, there is the feeling of aversion towards us, but on the other, there is the fact that he has done us a favor. favor.
If he had acted in a fully coherent manner, that person would not have done us any favors but, due to his need to please others, he has done it for us. To avoid entering into too intense an internal conflict, his mind chooses to use arguments consistent with his behavior. It is as if he is deceiving himself by thinking the following: “if I have done someone a favor it is because I really like them, therefore, I like that person because I have done them a favor.”
Examples in real life
Cognitive dissonance would be behind the explanation of why the Benjamin Franklin effect occurs. The mind, with the intention of avoiding a too tense internal conflict, tries to find justifications for its behavior, in this case, having behaved well with someone who, in principle, did not like him. However, is it possible for this to happen in the opposite way, that is, hating someone because we have behaved badly towards them?
Really if. A fairly clear example of this is armed conflicts. When a war occurs, the soldiers who participate in it and have to kill those on the enemy side try to find explanations that justify the conflict and their actions. That is to say, They try to protect themselves from the mental tension that would be generated by having to kill and the maxim that killing is wrong come into conflict
To avoid incoherence, soldiers hide behind reasons linked to religion, nationalism or freedom, seeing them as valid arguments to defend their actions and position.
Going to more everyday and less warlike contexts, we can observe the Benjamin Franklin effect in personal and work situations. For example, when he is in an office and has to help a colleague for whom we do not have much sympathy. In that same context, Our mind will try to find explanations that justify that action although this can be summarized as the fact that it was the boss who forced us to do it.
As for the couple, it is possible that our boyfriend or spouse asks us to do them a favor that we don’t really like. Even though we don’t agree, because we love him, we do what he asks of us. If we didn’t do it, not only would he or she be the one to tell us the typical phrase “if you loved me, you would have done it”, but we ourselves would be the ones who, in the depths of our minds, would make this phrase resonate over and over again. .
