Changing Negative Internal Discourse Towards Oneself
Something very common in the culture of suffering is beating and mistreating oneself with negative internal messages that cause the person to degenerate without realizing it.
From this premise, no one can live or grow freely because their mind, their memory, has been programmed for a long time to think about the worst, from fears. So that it is well understood what this consists of negative self-talk and how this conditions us, we are going to see some extreme examples, but we see it in our daily lives in street comments, in the media: television, internet, newspapers…
One of the examples is political discourse worldwide, I invite you to turn on the TV right now or watch a news item in any paper or digital media, and do a simple analysis by looking at what they say, how they say it, how it is expressed. they express. It is very curious because the negative discourse also at the political level is another reflection of what we experience in the culture of suffering. They focus in the fight or the guerrilla between themselves or between political parties, eternalizing the conflict and in the end they do not deal with what really matters, which is solving or resolving the problems that arise. Of course, everything is very complicated, they would tell us. No, what is really complicated is what has been put into practice throughout transgenerations, which is repeating and repeating and repeating not agreeing on anything because In the end we do not work from love or from healthy communication if not from individual interests that also have to do with the internal traumas of each one that are not yet resolved and therefore are represented as a tortuous burden on the outside, in the way in which we toxically relate to ourselves. and therefore with the world.
Humanity, as I say, has repeated so much over so long that it does not agree on what really matters, which in the end is the cognitive scheme which we put into practice uselessly since it only leads us to conflictive repetition without solving anything. They limit themselves to saying that everything is very difficult because they do not realize that that is what is easy. Because the easy thing in the culture of suffering is that, to suffer or not to resolve. Another example of negative internal speech is the war between two nearby towns, or between two cities. This conflict, without any explanatory logic, sometimes leads people to engage in psychological or physical fights that reach seriousness, even death. What humanity has not yet realized is that when these types of conflicts that only lead us to eternal fights are put aside, that is when we begin to work from love and empathy and memories of happiness begin to form, because you are letting go. of a burden learned in the remote past.
Where does the negativity in our speech come from?
The formation of a negative cognitive schema It arises in a remote past, that is, a long time ago because of something that has made me suffer in life, because of something that happened to me and that, realizing it or not realizing it, hurt me and I was not able to overcome it, either because I did not have the tools. necessary, or because no one put themselves in my place, or because I did not feel understood, listened to, protected, supported, looked at by someone with whom I could express and release what was inside me…, and this is where memory begins to be born. in which the person feels like a victim of something in life, always a victim
When human beings feel victimized in life, whether consciously or unconsciously, they begin to develop very harmful emotions that have to do with the self-concept: “I feel alone”, “no one loves me”, “I have been rejected”, “I feel abandoned”, “I have been abused”… This negative cognitive schema that is formed in the mind about oneself makes the person grow in life with a very weakened organism because the messages that are sustained within it are of the type: “I am not enough for anyone”, “I am not valuable”, “I feel like a burden”, “the only thing I do in “This life is annoying.” When we talk about a weakened organism we are talking about a person who lives his life from anguish, anxiety, nervousness, discomfort as a main base, and who has already learned and internalized it within his internal system by dint of repeating to yourself the internal message that in life you are neither enough nor valid.
When a person has grown up surrounded by emotionally mature people, their internal organism (your mind) is growing strong and sure. A strong organism means that thoughts or internal speech tend towards tranquility, empathy, positivity.. This is what is known as secure attachment, that is, people who have a healthy criticism of themselves and the world are able to have healthy conversations without the tendency or need to hurt or crush themselves or others. These are the cognitive schemes that we are interested in setting as an example to gradually develop the formation of a memory of happiness.
How is this negative discourse created?
A memory of happiness It is formed in the same way as a memory of suffering, all we have to do is turn the coin. All of this will give rise to a positive and healthy internal discourse with oneself and with the world. So that it is understood well, we are going to give an example, imagining that we are small children, 4 or 5 years old for example:
The child who feels understood, listened to and protected You are going to develop one or more happy memories, why? That child can express himself freely. Free should not be confused with a permissive educational style that is increasingly widespread in the culture of suffering characterized by the absence of rules and limits where everything is possible, it is the child who is often in charge and adults fall into the clumsiness of falling into submission due to not being able to implement healthy and communicative discipline. Adults do not have any measured authority over the child, which means that the child who needs a guide in life to show them a path does not have one. In these cases, permissive parents do not realize that they are raising insecure and fragile children, because in real life they will not be allowed many things, so they develop great frustration when there is something that they cannot get or they are told No, because they have an ancient memory in which everything has been allowed, anything or whim that they have wanted to say, do or buy.
This is the profile of parents who, not knowing how to educate their children, demand that other professionals, usually teachers or professors, do it for them. One of the most common complaints from education professionals in our country refers to this fact. Parents demand or harass teachers that their child is having a misbehavior which is leading him to get lost in any field of his life, personal, school, family… They urge full attention for their children, that is, they burden teachers with a responsibility that does not belong to educational professionals, since they educate in other ways. very important areas.
The development of happy children and young people with a respectful discipline towards life is a responsibility that has to start fully from the family, so, please, let us rest in this sense to the teachers, who have enough to weigh and carry hundreds of students forward without practically any help from the appropriate competences.) and safe, knowing that if he makes a mistake they will not respond with a reprimand but with a logical explanation and a communication based on understanding and respect The greatest gift you can give a child is to reward him with positive messages that address his worth in life (how valuable he is) with all the talents he has. Children must be aware that the people around them are capable of attending to them, listening to them and looking at them when there is something they want to tell, especially when they have some concern, problem or discomfort. In the culture of suffering, many adults think that children never have complaints or never feel bad, and this is a mistake. Children also have problems, for example about something that may have happened with a friend, or with their studies, or with anything. And these things they need to discuss with someone who is open to supporting all of that. This is the look that the child needs because the internal message is: “there is someone in life who looks at me, understands me and loves me, therefore I am important in life.”
The creation of happy memories and detachment from what makes us suffer It is something vital and something that I work on in the consultation with my patients or with patients who work online. The person begins to have significant changes that make them improve in other areas of their life.
