Christmas Without Side Effects

​Christmas is a time of the calendar that produces very different emotions in people. Some look forward to it and live it with joy and enthusiasm, however others regret it.

Christmas without side effects

Christmas is a time of the calendar that produces very different emotions in people. Some look forward to it and live it with joy and enthusiasm, however others regret its arrival and hope that it passes as soon as possible.

Although we should not force ourselves to be happy on these dates, we can improve our Christmas experience by following some recommendations.

The first and most important thing, not to impose on ourselves to be happy and loving, because we are expected to live it with maximum joy and total union with our family. Assume our mood, whatever it may be, without feeling bad about it.

Christmas is full of obligations and commitments that can spoil the holidays. To have a positive experience of these obligations it is important to break the routine. It has been proven that many people who say they “hate” Christmas, what they really don’t like are the obligations established around it.

Control nostalgia in the face of the death of loved ones

During Christmas the memory of those who are not there becomes more present. When the death has been recent, less than a year, the first Christmas is usually a painful experience. To avoid this pain, many people take a drastic solution: not celebrating Christmas that year. Everyone in their house will make the pain more bearable. However, Christmas can become an opportunity to grieve as a family, to share our pain with others and even to get to know the deceased person better. When families allow themselves to experience this pain and share it, the experience is usually very positive.

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When the death has not been so recent, we must control the nostalgia that the memory of the deceased person produces in us. It is important to remember, but it is even more important to dedicate our time to those who are still here. They will thank us.

Your place or mine?

The celebration of Christmas also means commitments to couples with their families of origin. Couples usually resolve this situation by agreeing, on the 24th with my family and on the 31st with yours. Decisions must be equitable, of course, but we must avoid making them rigid. They are still celebrations of festive moments, so flexibility can help us enjoy those moments more. What really makes us superior beings is not the possibility of ordering and legislating everything that happens around us, but the ability to realize when we are faced with a different situation that requires a different solution. Therefore, here I change the question from in your house or in mine to the statement in your house and in mine. Each member of the couple can independently enjoy their special Christmas day.

This week it’s my turn

In families with separated parents, the organization of the children’s Christmas holidays is usually carried out. Parents agree on the periods in which the children will spend with each other. Sometimes, even when there is no agreement, a regulatory agreement will mark these decisions. But we must not forget that these are children, and if rigidities feel bad with adults, they feel even worse with children. Our agreements and decisions set general operating guidelines, but we must be flexible, especially at this time when the opportunities for children to see relatives from both parties are so frequent. A cousin’s birthday, or a certain celebration, can and will break the calendar we had proposed. If we make an effort, our children will thank us.

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Making Christmas our own will allow us to enjoy it more.