Coexistence As A Couple During Confinement: 9 Tips
On March 14, the state of alarm was declared in Spain due to COVID-19. This meant that we had to go from being at home for a few hours to staying there 24 hours a day, except for people whose work allowed them to go out.
This state of confinement has not only affected people on an individual level (stress, anxiety, sadness, despair…) but also at the family level and in relationships.
Therefore, below you will find some Recommendations to make living together as a couple more bearable
Tips to improve coexistence as a couple during confinement
Follow these key habits and ideas to make coexistence more bearable in times of quarantine.
1. Respect space
If there is something necessary right now, it is that we can have a space in which to be alone at certain times of the day.
Undoubtedly, being with loved ones is part of the recommendations for this confinement, but the truth is that on many occasions we need time for ourselves. Thus, It is necessary and healthy that there are times of the day when we have our own space This also allows us to enjoy more of the time we later spend as a couple.
2. Good communication
Another important aspect to highlight, and not only for confinement but for all couples in general, is being able to have good communication.
It is about expressing our emotions, concerns and thoughts to others as well as listening to what the other person also has to tell us. Let’s avoid judging and try to give space to conversations in a fluid way and trying to understand the other’s position.
In general coexistence, it happens many times that we dedicate ourselves to arguing about things such as routine, cleanliness, order, etc. It is clear that these are important aspects to take into account on a daily basis, but we are living in an alarming situation, confined, experiencing intense emotions, and this can lead to us not wanting to do the dishes at the time we used to do them. , or that we forget to pick up the hanging clothes because we are immersed in a movie we were watching.
Thus, The key is to prioritize and see that perhaps there are aspects that are not so important right now Let’s try not to argue over trivial things and see that there may be other times for that. It’s about trying to be more flexible, not about completely stopping doing the things we did before.
4. Promote positive activities as a couple
How are we going to do pleasant activities as a couple while at home? The most typical thing may be to watch a movie together, but let’s go further. Try to prepare a special dinner for your partner, take the opportunity to take a shower together, put on some music to dance to, you can play board games, have a chat about a trip you took a long time ago…
It’s about trying look for positive moments between the two, beyond just “living” together Try to make a plan in the same way you would if you were not confined but looking for a way to do it at home.
5. Empathy
We are individual people, with our thoughts, emotions and learning; thus, Each person is experiencing this situation very differently It is necessary that we try to understand this, and put ourselves in our partner’s situation.
We may not see the health emergency situation in the same way, but let’s try to understand others and respect their emotions and times. Some people need more time to adapt Others are experiencing this as if everything remained the same. Try to empathize and respect.
6. Sex
In this regard, there are people who, by spending more time at home, are having more sexual relations, but we also find the opposite. Now that there is more time for it, look for the moments in which you are both most receptive, propose new things, take the opportunity to communicate sexually. There is no doubt that sexuality is important and encourages positive emotions within the couple
It should be noted here that of course there will be people who during this situation have emotions of sadness, anxiety and obviously do not want to have sexual relations. Let’s remember points 2 and 5 (Communication and Empathy), talk to our partner and understand what they feel. Let’s avoid reproaches and respect space
7. Negotiation
The couple is not a relationship in which we have to be negotiating all the time, but it is true that for some situations it is necessary to “agree.”
There will be times when we do not think alike, even if we try to be empathetic it will be very difficult for us and that is why we also have to have some negotiation method that helps us reach agreements. This is not something that we have to use excessively, but it is very useful for certain moments
Remember: try to relativize whether the reason for discussion is something really important, if it is but you cannot reach an agreement, try to propose an intermediate position. Sometimes one will give in and other times the other.
We have already commented that perhaps it is not the time to focus on the little things that are not done and that it is better to try to put into perspective what is the most important. But of course…we still live in a small space where we have to spend many hours.
Therefore, also It is important that we have an organization about household chores and mandatory tasks This will make it much easier to have time for other, more enjoyable activities and will reduce arguments.
9. Discussions
Ok… we have already tried to give some guidelines to improve coexistence, but… And what happens when we argue? This is normal, It is difficult for us to spend several days in the same space without having any type of discussion
The first thing is to normalize this: disagreements are normal without quarantine involved. The second thing to do is try to relax within the discussion, that is, try to lower the emotion of anger. Find a place in the house to be alone until you notice that your anger has subsided enough, and then try to communicate with your partner again ; If you are not able to agree, remember point 7 (negotiation). Let’s also not forget point 3 (Is that really that important?).
Conclusion
These are some recommendations that we propose to you from Mariva Psychologists Sometimes this is not enough and the couple is going through a bad time, probably already before confinement but this has been aggravated by the situation. If this is your case, you can go to our center or contact us to ask us any questions.
