Coitophobia (genophobia): Fear Of Sexual Relations
Coitophobia is an irrational fear of sexual relations, which is part of the wide variety of sexual phobias or erotophobias. Individuals who have this disorder can initiate romantic relationships, kiss or hug other people, but they feel a great fear of sexual relations and penetration.
Having sexual relations, especially with the person we love, is one of the greatest pleasures in life, and is essential to enjoy a healthy life, both individually and as a couple. But when fear takes over a person, the psychological and social consequences can be very serious.
In this article we will talk about coitophobia (also known as genophobia) and we will delve into the causes, symptoms and consequences of this irrational fear.
Sexual phobias or erotophobias are a variety of disorders related to sex. Some people have a phobia of penetration (as in the case of coitophobia), others have a fear of penises, and others have a fear of intimacy.
Phobias, in general, are irrational fears that generate great anxiety, discomfort and stress peaks and cause the phobic person to avoid the feared stimulus or situation. There are different types of sexual phobias in addition to coitophobia, they are the following:
1. Nudophobia
This phobia is also known as gymnophobia, and is the fear of nudity. Therefore, these people are afraid of being naked or of others seeing them that way.
Nodophobia can be confused with fear of intimacy, but they are not the same. The fear of intimacy refers not so much to the fact of being naked, but to feeling close to the other person both physically and emotionally.
3. Haphephobia
And the irrational fear of intimacy is also not the same as fearing a person’s physical contact, which is known as haphephobia. This fear is characterized because the individual fears being touched for different reasons (for example, fear of contracting diseases).
Although haphephobia is not only related to sex, this disorder also affects sexual relations.
4. Phallophobia
It is the irrational fear of both flaccid and erect penises (medortophobia), which makes having sexual relations seriously difficult.
5. Paraphobia
It is a phobic disorder characterized by a fear of sexual perversion. It is a complex phobia in which some people fear perverting themselves, while others fear the perversions of others.
6. Vulnerability phobia
Vulnerability phobia is the fear of abandonment, of being left alone if someone rejects them. It also affects intimacy, since some individuals do not believe that others will like them.
This phobia has negative consequences in different types of interpersonal relationships, including those with a partner and, therefore, sex with them is affected.
7. Philemaphobia
It is also known as filematophobia, and is the phobia of kisses, that is, the irrational fear of these acts of love. Different causes are usually associated, such as concerns about bad breath or fear of contracting diseases.
Causes (and classical conditioning)
Coitophobia, like any phobia, usually develops as a result of a traumatic experience. This occurs due to a type of associative learning called classical conditioning, in which the person suffers a traumatic experience from the past that causes a strong emotional reaction.
John B. Watson was the first scientist to experiment with this type of learning with humans, and he managed to help a little boy named Albert learn an irrational fear, that is, a phobia. This controversial experiment could not be carried out today because it is considered unethical. You can learn more about the experiment with little Albert in the following video:
Other causes of this phobia
The bad experiences that can cause this phobia can be different from one person to another: sexual abuse, manipulative sexual behavior or the pain suffered during penetration. Phobias can have their origins in childhood, although in this case it is very normal for them to begin in adulthood when sexual behavior is more pronounced.
Many times they can develop as a consequence of other sexual problems, such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or dyspareunia, a medical condition that makes sex painful for some women.
Religious beliefs or irrational beliefs about sex (often the result of misinformation or television) can lead a person to suffer from this phobia.
Symptoms of genophobia
Coitophobia presents the same symptoms as other phobias, whether specific (as in the case of this phobia) or complex (as in the case of social phobia or agoraphobia). Anxiety and discomfort are the characteristic symptoms, and the person usually avoids any situation related to having sex with another person.
The symptoms of coitophobia can be classified into three groups:
Treatment of this phobia
According to research, phobias can be overcome thanks to psychotherapy. And the data from these studies show that cognitive behavioral therapy is really effective. Some of the techniques that are most used in this type of therapy to overcome phobias are relaxation techniques or exposure techniques.
Regarding the latter, automatic desensitization is usually used, which consists of exposing the patient little by little to the phobic stimulus while learning more adaptive tools to cope with the situation. Logically, it is not possible for the patient to have sex in consultation, but other strategies can be used that help expose the patient to this type of situations and can verify that their hypotheses are erroneous. Some cognitive techniques can also be used to modify some irrational beliefs.
Likewise, many times, acceptance is key to reducing anxiety, which is why in recent times new forms of therapy have been used, such as Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) or acceptance and commitment therapy.
In extreme cases, pharmacological treatment has proven to be useful, but always in combination with psychological therapy.
