Couple Crisis Due To Routine Problems: 5 Possible Causes

Many times, couple crises do not occur from an event that suddenly reveals that there is something in the relationship that is not going well.

Although cases of infidelity or especially difficult discussions give rise to some cases of breakup that are remembered above all for their dramatic charge, the truth is that in the majority of cases marital or dating problems come about through a process gradual, small dysfunctions whose effect accumulates over the weeks.

This entire set of warning signs is usually limited to the area of ​​coexistence routines, those seemingly banal and frequent situations that arise with day-to-day dealings both inside and outside the home.

In this article we will see a summary of the main routine problems that can trigger a relationship crisis and what they imply.

Common causes of couple crises due to dysfunctional routines

These are some of the most common causes of relationship crises that arise from dysfunctional coexistence routines, which produce a vitiated and unsatisfactory environment.

1. Lack of variety in leisure plans

It is common for one of the people involved in the relationship to have a greater preference than the other for having new experiences from time to time.

This is not a problem if there is a constant dialogue about how you should spend your time together, but in some cases, these types of asymmetries in the relationship give rise to a problem that accumulates. And when something is not spoken, It is implicitly assumed that the routine is validated, and this becomes the “default” option, what is assumed to be done unless someone says otherwise. And many times, there appears a certain fear of proposing to break with the routine, either due to the fear of having to face the problem of what to do with free time, or due to the fear of revealing that what has been done as a couple for months has become somewhat boring.

2. Asymmetries in the distribution of tasks

In many relationships, there is someone who feels greater discomfort if they see tasks yet to be done, and who is in charge of carrying them out. Over time, this leads to a greater workload, and this inequality is normalized by the simple fact that it has always been there (as long as the period of cohabitation has lasted). Opening the melon of reassigning responsibilities becomes a cause for concern and that is why there are people who prefer to “leave it for another day.”

3. Taboos in the sexual sphere

It is no secret that sex is an almost inexhaustible source of taboos even today. For many couples, it is something that is barely talked about. And of course, where communication fails, there is a breeding ground for frustrations, insecurities and even boredom.

4. Tendency to not focus discussions in a decisive manner

Many couples approach arguments as a battle of egos, a battlefield in which the only thing that matters is not being inferior to the other. This causes the most important part of this type of clash of wills to be overshadowed by the feelings of anger and that the act of arguing ends when one of the parties has had enough and does not want to continue exposing themselves to reproaches, and not when a solution or agreement has been reached.

5. Lack of quality time as a couple

Finally, another element of the routine that lends itself more to generating a couple crisis is lack of time together Many times it is due to poor management of work time, and other times it is due to a simple habit of being in different rooms doing solitary free-time activities.

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I am a psychologist with many years of experience working to solve emotional, behavioral or communicative dysfunctions, and I base my intervention model on cognitive-behavioral psychology. I attend both in person in my office in Madrid and through the online format with video call sessions. On this page you will find my contact information, and more information about how I work.