All couples go through difficult times when it is difficult to maintain a pleasant routine In some cases, disagreements begin to arise that cause discomfort and unhappiness and, often, these are followed by responses of abandonment or desire to end the relationship.
Normally the relationship ends definitively when one of the members decides so. It is important, therefore, to become aware of the first symptoms that reveal that something is not going as it should, before it is too late.
Courage becomes essential when looking for solutions to recover what was once so important and special between the couple. But on the other hand, although the saying “Two don’t fight if one doesn’t want to” is true, this does not mean admitting and submitting to everything that the other thinks or decides.
Relationship problems lead to jealousy, suspicion, sadness, anxiety, lack of trust, communication… We feel the threat of unwanted loneliness, the fear of abandonment of whom we love so much. Likewise, we are surprised by helplessness.
Leaving your partner at the first opportunity, when conflicts arise, is almost never a good solution, except in cases of toxic relationships. When we abandon, we think that our conflicts will be solved, but frequently abandonments do nothing more than feed back on our comfort, our lack of maturity and our lack of commitment. The flight forward becomes a disastrous solution
The importance of getting involved in the relationship
“Pressure” is an aspect to consider in our lives. We will almost always find ourselves in contexts where making decisions is accompanied by “pressure” of any kind. In these cases we must be aware so that the “pressure” does not lead us to a wrong decision.
Let’s think for a moment about the sentences of R. Tagore:
This syllogism leads us to the conclusion that our thoughts are at the base of our destiny Therefore, it will be convenient to change behaviors and attitudes through our change of perspective, our change of “mind”, with the aim of changing our circumstances and destiny. And also, build our character.
This, contrary to what is normally thought, is not something that we bring from the mother’s womb. Although it is true that we have genetic temperament predispositions, we are responsible for creating what we decide to be, since we are not impervious to the environment, culture and social environment where we were formed. How many times have we heard “that’s just how I am”… And that statement becomes the perfect excuse that justifies our comfort and passivity in our change
Assume that you do not have to cling to what is comfortable
I am convinced that perseverance is the key to success. Thomas Edison, the American scientist, before designing the electric light bulb, had to try more than a thousand attempts. When we have built something worthwhile, it is unwise to give in or succumb to the instinct of comfort and easy living (I already said, as long as toxic relationships or those that do not help us grow, give and receive in a healthy way, or that directly annul or subjugate us are not being fed).
While it is true that we are immersed in the culture of immediacy, where patience is an absent asset, We are responsible, protagonists, architects of our lives and relationships The moment of difficulty is a good opportunity to look back at ourselves and identify what values are moving us personally and in the relationship.
A good question to ask in this scenario is: do I love you because I need you, or do I need you because I love you? Same words with different meanings.
In this context, and under the will of both members, couples therapy is proposed. Effective solution to relearn to live happily together. The therapy will become our point of reference to report the experiences lived between both of us through the agreements agreed upon in the sessions. The five pillars to work on will be based on love, communication, enthusiasm, trust and respect The condition “se ne qua non” is the identification of both of the problem and the desire to solve it.
Normally, when these conditions are met, success is almost assured. Although, although it is true, it will depend on the degree of involvement of both in solving the problem.
During treatment, most couples will notice whether their differences can be resolved or whether they ultimately prove to be incompatible Restoration is POSSIBLE.
