The midlife crisis is a psychological problem (although not a psychopathology) that affects many people in a world in which there is a genuine devotion to the idea of being young.
Although it can affect people of all kinds, in this article we are going to focus specifically on its way of damaging the quality of life of men in Western societies. So that, Let’s see how the midlife crisis usually occurs when men experience it.
What is the midlife crisis?
The midlife crisis is a type of psychological discomfort that occurs in some people when they exceed or approach 50 years of age.
It is fundamentally about a self-esteem problem in which the perception of one’s own age plays a very important role and gives rise to dysfunctional ways of managing emotions and seeing oneself, giving rise to what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy effect: much of what is said or done is interpreted as a sign that we are worth less because of being that age and living in a certain context.
That said, let’s see what the main characteristics of the 50’s crisis are.
1. It is not a problem arising from age
This may seem counterintuitive, but if we stop to think about it a little, it is not so counterintuitive. The fact of exceeding the threshold of 50 years does not trigger the crisis of 50, of course: this It is an arbitrary number that is relevant for the meaning that we attribute to it socially in general. and specifically, in Western culture.
This partly explains why only a portion of people who reach this age develop a midlife crisis or something close to it.
Thus, the way to overcome the midlife crisis is psychosocial in nature, and does not depend on the degree of biological maturation of the person suffering from this discomfort.
2. It feeds on ageism
If the crisis of 50 exists, it is because, for several decades, a series of cultural dynamics have been produced that exalt everything that has to do with youth and the aesthetics associated with it.
The fact of knowing that one is far from youth (which is perceived as a stage of life buried in the past) leads many people to develop many hang-ups about their appearance, skills, and achievements, and wishing they were much younger due to negative messages about middle age and old age that society constantly spreads.
That is to say, the midlife crisis can be understood, at least in part, as the psychological mark left on some people by discrimination directed against people who have passed a certain age.
3. It also relies on the concept of success
We have seen that the crisis of 50 drinks from the idea that once you have reached the core of youth, each year that passes detracts from the person. However, she doesn’t just stop there; It also relies on another system of prejudices that goes in a somewhat different direction: the concepts of “successful person” and “failed person.”
These clichés consist of a series of expectations and clichés about what a successful life project is supposed to be, and which adopts many elements of the consumerist model and the idea of the “self-made man.” “) linked to the welfare societies that appeared in the West.
It is understood that people have a certain amount of time to demonstrate their value and that this is reflected in the ability to accumulate material goods, to build a very specific family model, and to accumulate intellectual capital (that is, to access “high culture”).
As it is assumed that most professional careers have already reached their “ceiling” around the age of 50, crossing that age limit means experiencing social pressure to compare oneself with other people and assess whether that journey has been successful. or not, and by extension, whether oneself has value or not.
Anything that moves away from this idea of success based on the white Anglo-Saxon man deducts points, which implies that a huge part of the population, diverse by its very nature, has many reasons to feel bad upon reaching that stage of life.
Forms of discomfort associated with the crisis of 50 in men
These are the main sources of discomfort that men who go through the crisis of 50 usually suffer.
1. They tend to suffer from imposter syndrome
Many men have the feeling that part of what they are managing to maintain because of their socioeconomic status is due to the simple fact of having been working in a company or in a specific professional environment for more years than younger men (and because of the contacts they have made). been winning along the way), not because they are really more valuable or competitive in the labor market.
This causes them to attribute a good part of their successes to elements external to them, and this makes them feel bad when comparing themselves to younger professionals, undervaluing the qualities they really have. In this sense, it is worth remembering that in general, value in the labor market tends to have a greater influence on men’s self-esteem.
2. They feel bad if they notice that they have not managed to establish traditional families or have managed to accumulate wealth
At this age it begins to be common to look back and value the past as if it were the bulk of one’s life, the core of one’s life journey. That is, the person assumes that nothing positive will happen that is remarkable and that has not already happened to them before.
This idea, in addition to being erroneous, leads many people to feel anguish if they reach the age of 50 (an important psychological threshold) and They feel dissatisfied with their expectations of starting a family. And since men have traditionally been seen as the leaders of the family unit because of sexist dynamics, these types of “failures” are seen as one’s own failures.
Something similar happens with economic achievements, understood as the ability to earn money. In this aspect, it is easy for men to compare themselves only with people who have managed to access a privileged socioeconomic status in less time than them.
3. They suffer from a lack of references about what they should aspire to
Since many men focus almost exclusively on economic or professional goals, it is relatively common that when they reach the age of 50 they stop feeling motivated to earn more and more (either because they have less reason to think than in relatively little time). time they could have made a lot of progress in this aspect, or because they think more about death) and this leads them to an existential crisis. That is, to ask themselves what matters to them in life.
The inability to fill that void takes the form of the crisis of the 50s in a version characterized by disorientation and the discomfort of not knowing where to start to make your trips something exciting.
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