Dealing With “difficult” And Disobedient Children: 7 Practical Tips
It is a fact that childhood seems to be a stage specially designed to build human beings with little attachment to social norms and taking responsibilities.
It makes sense that this is the case, since at this moment in life it is more important to know what the world is like than to learn to fit perfectly into it, since it is not yet fully known. However, This can mean that in many places in the world there are millions of adults dealing with young people who need rules to live but at the same time they are very reluctant to follow them.
This is, to a certain extent, inevitable: all boys and girls carry within them the rebellious spirit Typical of someone who wants to explore everything that cannot be understood by adult explanations. However, this does not mean that there are not certain attitudes and strategies to make the education of the little ones more bearable.
Here you have 7 tips that can be useful to improve your way of relating to disobedient boys and girls.
Nobody likes to follow rules that make no sense. Therefore, the delimitation of what can and cannot be done must be accompanied by the explanation of why these standards are useful Concrete examples can be given to more easily illustrate the dangers that are avoided with certain rules, for example, or the advantages of following certain steps when doing things.
2. Emphasize the positive
It is very helpful to let children know how well they are doing. certain basic rules and recognize their efforts when applied to comply with the rules. This, in addition to helping to strengthen ties with them, influences the image they have of themselves and will make them assume they are people who are good at following certain discipline exercises. In this way, the possibility of breaking the rules will lose its appeal.
3. Do not show discrepancies or inconsistencies
Rules are useful if they are well established. That’s why, Adults should not question these rules in front of children, since the idea that no norm has to be adequate could be generalized to all of them. Likewise, it is best not to keep these behavioral guidelines unchanged if there are no good reasons to do so.
4. Do not always look for the origin of the problem in the boy or girl
Some rules, simply, they are not very suitable They may be very difficult to follow, may not be well justified, or may not fit well with the goal to which they are oriented. The youngest members of the house are curious and active by nature and usually find it difficult to follow the behavioral guidelines that adults give them: that is why it is important that these are appropriate.
Standards should not be based on awards since these give shape to a type of extrinsic motivation Ideally, children see compliance with these rules as something positive, either because it reinforces their self-esteem or because they find it stimulating to meet these mini-goals.
6. Don’t respond to his tantrums with more aggression
Addressing episodes in which a boy or girl expresses their anger should not cause the same type of anger in us. In these situations, the behavior of a caregiver or educator must be oriented towards the education of the other person, instead of taking advantage of that context to release tensions (something that is of no use to the child if we do). Therefore, it is best to try to calm him down, for example, by hugging her body, and wait a while until addressing the topic of rules and duties. This way you will address these topics at a time when you are both receptive.
7. Accept that there are things about them that you cannot change
Education is partly about helping young people function well in the real world and understand how the culture around them works. However, That does not mean that to educate it is necessary to smooth out all the edges of boys and girls to the point that they fit perfectly into the archetype of an exemplary son/daughter. If you are the father or mother of these little ones, admitting that in each son or daughter there are aspects that cannot be controlled can make parenthood more bearable.
One more tip: learn the importance of fostering healthy self-esteem in your child
When the child has a balanced and positive self-concept, he or she is able to face daily life in a much healthier way. For the child to enjoy this good self-esteem, it is very important that parents keep certain techniques and habits in mind.
You can discover it by reading this post: “10 strategies to improve your child’s self-esteem”
