Differences Between Punishment And Limit (in Children’s Education)
Something basic to facilitate coexistence is to try to maintain our behavior around parameters that we call social norms. If on some occasions we adults perceive these parameters as arbitrary and illogical; It is even more common for boys and girls to have difficulties assimilating them and acting in accordance with them.
During the process (that of recognition and respect for norms), adults are key characters, since it is largely through us that they learn what they are expected to do and what they are not expected to do. Specifically our influence has to do with the way we teach what boundaries are and what happens if they are not respected.
In this article we will see some differences between limits and punishments as well as one of the proposals of modern pedagogy to maintain a respectful educational style that at the same time transmits to the boy or girl some necessary guidelines for living together.
Since educational models began to be “child-centered,” early childhood education has moved from an authority model (where adults were the ones who gave the orders and children simply followed them); to a model based more on negotiation, where the child’s own needs must be taken into account and not only that of the adult.
In this sense, when using concepts such as rules, discipline, limits and authority in early childhood education, we are generally not talking about an authoritarian model that suggests domination, but rather a model that seeks coexistence, respect, tolerance and responsibility for children. own acts.
Nevertheless, the model based on negotiation has generated some difficulties not only for boys and girls but for caregivers and educators, since sometimes it becomes a totally permissive and overprotective parenting style.
What does it mean to “set limits”?
Setting limits is necessary because in this way we teach boys and girls that they cannot do absolutely everything they want without considering how that affects other people.
This even helps develop other skills, such as recognizing one’s own limits and how others should approach or not approach one another ; It can also help children recognize and establish clear limits regarding long-term self-demand.
In practical terms, setting a limit consists of specifying to the child when, how and where a behavior is not allowed; and when, how and where it is allowed.
For example, when young children are in the process of understanding risky behaviors, it is common for them to approach dangerous spaces and do things like stick their fingers in sockets, put their hand on the stove or stove, run towards where there are cars. , etc.
In addition to taking the necessary and classic measures such as covering the sockets, it is also useful to indicate in firm, short phrases and simple words that “not here.” It is also important to set clear limits regarding the approach of others, especially so that they can distinguish their personal space and what is the space of others.
Finally, Setting limits is not the same as delimiting or even imposing rules, which do not necessarily facilitate coexistence but they do correspond to the values of each context. For example, getting good grades or not sleeping after 10:00 pm is a norm that varies according to the dynamics in different spaces.
Differences between limit and punishment
After setting a limit, what follows is the child’s response. Generally, boys and girls do not respect the limit on the first indication, although it may also happen that they do not do so on the second or third indication, to which another response on the part of the adult follows.
Next We will know the differences between limits and punishments
1. The limit is only the indication, the punishment is the answer
The limit is only the indication, punishment is the response to the child’s behavior The limit then is the specification of what is not allowed and the punishment is the adult’s response, once the child has not respected that specification. Punishment is usually loaded with emotions such as anger, so it is more of an adult’s response to vent, which has little effect, or may even have negative effects, on the child’s education and discipline.
2. The limit anticipates a consequence, the punishment does not
The limit anticipates the consequence, the punishment is the consequence that is not anticipated Being a specification, the limit makes the child recognize certain rules, which she can respect, or not. Punishment is the adult’s response that is not anticipated (it is given arbitrarily on the part of the adult).
3. Punishment is not consistent with behavior or limits
The main characteristic of punishment is that it has no relationship or logic with the child’s behavior or with the limit that has been set For example, when he is denied time to watch television due to some inappropriate behavior he has had at school.
How to establish logical consequences instead of punishments?
The concept of “consequence” applied in education has many of its antecedents in the philosophy of María Montessori, an Italian doctor and pedagogue who laid the foundations for the development of an entire psychopedagogical method that is currently very popular.
Based on her studies, Montessori realized that boys and girls are capable of disciplining and regulating themselves; but this is a process that is largely achieved through the support and guidelines generated by adults.
So, comes to the conclusion that we must convey to boys and girls that behaviors have natural and logical consequences For example, if they walk without paying attention to nearby objects, they can hit themselves (a natural consequence).
Or for example, if a child hits another, that other child will not only cry or get angry, but it is important for the child to offer an apology (logical consequence). For these types of consequences, adult intervention is necessary.
So, a consequence, in addition to being what happens in response to any behavior, is also a guideline that allows us to recognize or anticipate what may happen when a limit is crossed or ignored.
By allowing the consequence to be anticipated, what we promote is the child’s self-regulation; and that the adult no longer depends on anger to facilitate it, because the child relates her behavior to the consequence, which will allow him to avoid it later.
Likewise, it is important that the child not only learns how he should not behave, but how he should; that is, giving him an alternative tool to satisfy her need (for example, asking for things or expressing his anger, instead of hitting).
Characteristics of a logical consequence:
Consequences and limits are not recipes that can be applied equally to all children; they vary according to the needs and characteristics of both the context and the caregivers or educators, as well as the child’s own development.
In line with the above, we are going to list some important things about what a logical consequence is like, which can be useful depending on the case:
