Do We Know How To Listen? Important Aspects Of Active Listening
A study confirms that most people are unable to actively listen to their interlocutor for more than 3 minutes at a time. On the other hand, Various surveys reveal that approximately 50% of the Spanish population feels alone
It is inevitable to think that there is a parallel between the feeling of loneliness and isolation and a society that has not learned to listen.
The first thing we must do is mark the difference between hearing and listening r While hearing simply means receiving information through our auditory channels, listening involves intentionality. It involves an effort to pay attention to what the other person tells us, in an attempt to create effective and empathetic communication.
What difficulties prevent us from listening actively?
Do we know how to listen carefully to our interlocutor? There are various reasons that can interfere and detract from the quality of the active listening process. Some of them are the following.
1. Inability to tolerate silence
Most people feel uncomfortable when silence occurs in a conversation, especially with strangers. That is why while the interlocutor speaks they think about what they are going to say next, decreasing their attention to the information transmitted by the speaker so as not to be left without anything to say immediately.
In many cases, what makes listening difficult is a series of judgments that are made in thought that have nothing to do with what the speaker is trying to explain (I like his shirt, the color green doesn’t look good on him, it seems like he has gained weight). , short hair looks better on him than on me, etc.).
3. Focusing of attention
It consists of focusing attention only on one aspect of the conversation and thinking about it, ignoring the rest of the information that the speaker emits.
4. Have “your mind somewhere else”
This is one of the most common interferences. While the interlocutor speaks, the person begins to remember an event that happened the other day, to plan the evening’s dinner or to think about the job interview he has the next day, paying little or no attention to what the other person tells him. account.
5. Be attentive to please
This happens especially in insecure people. They focus on thinking if their posture is correct, if they are smiling enough, if the answers they are giving are appropriate, etc. Losing attention capacity and therefore quality in listening.
6. Continuous interruptions
There are certain people who, for various reasons, continually need to talk and be the center of attention in a conversation. That is why they continually interrupt the speaker’s speech by providing data from their own personal experience, taking the conversation to their field to be able to talk about themselves or issue advice.
Surely we have all felt the frustration of wanting to talk to someone who is constantly looking at their cell phone, television or computer screen. Environmental distractions make listening very difficult, as attention is divided towards several different stimuli.
Active listening to communicate better
Therefore, If we want to learn to listen actively, we must strive to reduce all these inferences and develop our attentional capacity in the here and now.
Create a climate of respect where we understand that what the other person has to tell us is important, and deserves, therefore, that we put all five senses into it, just as we would like the people who listen to us to do.
“Listen, you will be wise. The beginning of wisdom is silence” —Pythagoras
