One of the most frequent topics that we encounter in consultation is self-esteem, a psychological element closely linked to our emotional well-being and also to the way in which we establish relationships with others.
Many times we believe that we have mastered this topic, but this is not the case, since Self-esteem is an aspect as complex as it is fundamental for the care of our mental health Therefore, not knowing its characteristics or having erroneous beliefs about self-esteem can be harmful in the medium and long term.
In short, self-esteem is the combination of beliefs about the “I” and emotions and feelings that we associate with that concept of the “I”
From early childhood, practically all people have self-esteem to a greater or lesser degree (except in exceptional cases of severe brain development diseases), and this will always be constantly evolving throughout life; It can be influenced by day-to-day personal relationships, by achieving personal or professional goals, by experiences in the area of life as a couple, and even by going to psychotherapy.
How is self-esteem configured?
The basis of all self-esteem comes from our beliefs and values. Therefore, we should focus more on what we want for ourselves and not on what we should be, since On many occasions we try to please others by acting or behaving like a person we are not losing part of our essence, our authenticity.
This point seems fundamental to us, since when we try to be something that we are not, we end up paying a very high cost for our mental health, since it is constantly acting or wanting to be in a way that we are not, we can end up abandoning ourselves.
Self-esteem is built from our early childhood Social relationships, our upbringing, and our learning matrices influence its construction. This is modified and molded, according to the environment, to the links we establish with others, so it will be dynamic and changing throughout the different stages of our lives. Consequently, my experiences are also changing.
Many times, people find it difficult to identify this phenomenon, and come to consultation for symptoms such as anxiety or depression, which are masking negative self-esteem without the sufferer realizing it.
It is important to take care of how we feel, since it is what will accompany us throughout the course of our lives, both with ourselves and with our relationships with others.
How to detect these problems?
Some of the symptoms that can help us realize low self-esteem are thoughts like: “I don’t have self-confidence”, “I don’t like myself”, “I don’t relate to others as I would like”, “I feel guilty”, “I envy the lives of others”, “I am always aware of my weaknesses”, etc.
Self-confidence is essential to contribute to our healthy development in all areas: work, personal and family life, in my introspection… If I don’t strengthen my own belief, who will?
Self-esteem as a need
When we talk about self-esteem we base ourselves on Maslow’s Pyramid; This is a theory of motivation that explains what drives human behavior It consists of 5 levels arranged hierarchically according to the needs we go through.
They are vital needs for survival, fundamental biological processes (breathe, eat, sleep, drink water, eat). These are the most basic of the hierarchy, when these are satisfied we move to a second level.
2. Security Needs
We all need to have some sense of security in our lives. When we talk about security we are referring to personal security, physical security, employment and resource security, family security, health security. We focus on feeling protected in various aspects of our lives This level has to do with the expectations we have.
3. Membership Needs
These are social needs. Here are our emotional ties, our social relationships. At this point, empathy plays a fundamental role
This need continually arises in our daily lives when the desire to get married, have children, a job that we like, social acceptance, etc. appears.
4. Recognition Needs
It has to do with how we value ourselves and how we value others The trust and security we have, our own acceptance.
At this point is when we talk about self-esteem, feeling good about ourselves, having a good self-concept, recognizing and valuing our achievements. When these needs are not met we feel inferior and worthless, and poor self-esteem arises.
5. Self-Actualization Needs
This is the highest level of needs and the most different, since Here is our spiritual and moral development, our purpose in life, our potential to achieve a fuller life and achieve happiness. It is the most unique and subjective need of each person; To get there you have to feel good about yourself, value yourself and, most importantly, accept yourself.
The pillars of self-esteem
To deepen this topic of self-esteem, we recommend starting to know ourselves better, take a moment and think about how we feel Are we happy with ourselves? Do we do what we like? Do we feel satisfied with the life we build? Would we change something? Our erroneous beliefs only result in a lack of confidence and a negative self-concept.
There are three fundamental pillars to work on self-esteem: at a cognitive level “what I think”, at an affective level “what I feel”, at a behavioral level “what I do”. These three planes are essential to create good self-esteem, since it is important that they are in harmony.
How to enhance it?
We recommend several ways to increase your self-esteem:
On the one hand, do not stay in the past, since it cannot continue to condemn you in the present and even less so in the future.
On the other hand, believe in yourself, in your ability, in what you are, in what you think. You are the protagonist of your life and you write the script and decide what the next scenes of your life are like, and who will accompany you.
Don’t mistreat yourself, don’t harass yourself, If you don’t like something, change it, but don’t stay in it, punish yourself over and over again
Finally, celebrate your achievements, no one but you knows what it cost you to reach your goals and life objectives. Give yourself the value you deserve again and again by thinking positively, since you are worth a lot.
Learn to love yourself
We are here to help you delve deeper into your self-esteem.
For any questions do not hesitate to contact PSiCOBAi.
