As time goes by and our relationship becomes stronger, we consider continuing to move forward and commit to that special person. First of all, we should question whether we are choosing correctly or, rather, consciously
Each person is a world and only they know their tastes and desires. Probably making the option to share life with another person is one of the most important things we do in life. It would be advisable to ask ourselves if that person makes us feel good, if he allows us and encourages us to grow and if he is someone who adds to our life. What does our heart tell us when we think of her? What does the head tell us?
Aspects to take into account before getting married
And it is that we often overlook certain key issues , which, if we do not give them the importance they deserve, can become real headaches and even ruin our relationship. In the sentimental field we let ourselves be carried away by the emotion we feel and ignore important topics:
1. Finance
We don’t like to talk about money, it’s a fact. In this sense, reviewing our beliefs about it is a way to know what our relationship with it is like: We are often educated in the idea that it is dirty or brings problems
It is true that it is not a very romantic matter, but it is important to approach it openly. What amount is each person going to contribute to cover rent or mortgage expenses and bills? How are we going to pay for food purchases? What are we going to do with the car and gasoline? Will we have a joint account? What will be the contribution of each one?
We will agree on who or who will be in charge of carrying out each of them, as well as the frequency It is very useful to design a weekly quadrant where everything is reflected and have it visible to the entire family at home. If there are children, we will adapt them to them depending on their age, but it is important that they participate in both the planning and the execution, in this way they will learn to assume responsibilities.
3. Place of residence and housing
Have we talked about where we are going to settle, do we prefer to live in the city or maybe a town? What type of house do we want? Once this has been decided… Could we combine that decision with the work that we both currently do, are we contemplating the possibility of changing jobs or even professions in the future, if so, would that possibility be viable?
4 sons
Do we agree to have children? How many would we like to have, and when?
5. Values and ethics
Do we really know what yp valuesprinciples govern the life of our couple What beliefs are important to her, do we have any in common? In the case of not agreeing on values… Are they compatible with ours?
6. Life goals
Likewise: do we know our partner well, what motivations move them, what are their dreams, and their goals, can they coexist with ours?
7. Politics and ideology
We don’t need to think the same way , but it is vital that our positions be consistent and that we are consistent with ourselves. Obviously in both cases they must be based on respect for others and not contradict our own essential values.
8. Couples of different nationalities and/or regions
In the case of relationships between people of different nationalities and cultures, it is important to find the middle ground, always along the path of tolerance and respect for what is different evaluating whether what our partner defends seems acceptable to us.
If we have children, we will have to decide which of those beliefs we are going to instill in them. Finally, if both speak different languages, it is advisable to decide which one we will choose for the delivery of their education and which one we will use when speaking to our children and they must be clear about which one is being used in each situation and moment to avoid confusion.
9. Sexuality
Have we determined what sexuality is going to be like between the two of us, what rules there are going to be, what we allow, what we are not willing to do? And above all, can we talk about this issue openly? without it being a taboo subject? Sexuality is an important part of the relationship, since it constitutes another form of communication.
10. In-laws
There must be clear rules in this regard to avoid conflicts, especially in cases of intrusive family members or those with a very close bond. Will we allow visits from relatives at home, under what circumstances and conditions, what limits are we going to impose on them? What happens if one of us wants to meet for lunch every Sunday with his parents and siblings?
Are you prepared for a healthy relationship, do you love yourself, do you know what you want, do you respect yourself, do you carry resentments and anger from previous relationships? What do you bring in your emotional backpack? We must be sincere and offer our best version when interacting with others. This does not mean that we show ourselves in a false way, but that we try to make life better for our loved ones. We know that no one is perfect, so we will all have to be tolerant of the mistakes of others.
Do you know that person well with whom you are going to share your life?
Do you know what his fears are, what worries him now, where he is in his life, has he had difficult experiences, how he has handled them, how his childhood and adolescence went?
Have we had deep conversations to understand each other’s emotional universe, have we dedicated enough time to each other? It is common that either we do not know our partner in depth or we try to change them ; You could say that these two are the most frequent mistakes we make.
Relationships are complex, each person brings their “emotional backpack”, they require care and dedication.
Finally, and in the event that we are going through a relationship crisis or need advice from an expert in the field, there are professionals specialized in couples therapy who can provide us with guidance.
