It is estimated that around 60% of women and 40% of men manifest some type of sexual dysfunction.
Among women, the most frequent dysfunctions tend to be lack of desire, excitatory problems and anorgasmia, and in men erection problems, premature ejaculation and lack of interest in sex.
There is, however, another type of disorder, perhaps less widespread in psychology but equally common: painful intercourse in women, or dyspareunia In this article we will see what its characteristics are, and several techniques to deal with pain.
These are the main characteristics and symptoms of dyspareunia:
Thus, dyspareunia has a great capacity to harm women’s sexual lives. Now… What are the causes of dyspareunia? Are they exclusively the province of medicine?
Causes
According to various studies, the most common cause of dyspareunia is psychological. Lack of sexual arousal, inadequate or repressive sexual education, anxiety or previous negative experiences are among the possible explanations for said disorder.
Also, of course, the cause can be organic (poor lubrication, vaginal infections, malformations, etc.) so a gynecological visit is always recommended.
Taking into account that sexuality is a compendium of behaviors, emotions, thoughts and psychophysiological components, there may not be a single reason that could be causing the difficulty, so The evaluation must be done globally and holistic.
Treatment: tools to cope with coital pain
Once evaluated… What techniques do psychologists usually use to intervene in dyspareunia? Let’s look at several of the most common, with the recommendation that if you are going through a similar situation you go to a professional (psychologist or sexologist) to evaluate your specific case and design a personalized treatment plan.
Essential in any sexual dysfunction problem. It’s known that exclusively coital stimulations are not enough to fuel desire in women so there may be a lack of lubrication, psychological frustration when not achieving the desired arousal, tension in the pelvic floor muscles, etc.
It is therefore very important that a woman knows her body, becomes familiar with her desire and is able to transmit her needs to her sexual partner. And if he or she doesn’t take them into account… there are more fish in the sea.
2. Sensory focus
Is about a technique widely used in couples therapy which has been shown to have positive results in the treatment of sexual dysfunctions. It consists of carrying out non-demanding intimate contacts, in which the possibility of contact of primary and secondary sexual organs is eliminated.
The aim is to encourage intimate and sensual communication in this way the discovery of pleasurable sensations and the awakening of desire, without the added pressure of having to culminate with a possibly painful penetration.
3. Kegel maneuvers
This tool consists of carrying out a series of exercises in the pubococcygeal muscles with the aim of strengthening some muscle groups involved in sexual relations. The aim is to raise awareness of states of relaxation and muscle tension, which will help increase the woman’s feeling of self-control when having sex.
4. Be careful with your thoughts!
The self-fulfilling prophecy It happens when our thoughts create realities (which happens continually). Magic? No. Causal relationships.
If the woman begins a sexual encounter with thoughts like “it’s going to hurt,” “I’m not going to be able to bear it,” “I’m never going to be able to enjoy sex.” Your body will enter a state of tension that will make penetration very difficult, which will end up being painful due to the vaginal contraction itself combined with the lack of lubrication. Furthermore, focusing on painful sensations will intensify the sensation of pain, making it truly unbearable.
Through cognitive restructuring and thought stopping techniques, with the help of a psychologist, the intensity, frequency and degree of credibility that we give to these beliefs can be reduced.
5. Mindfulness
One of the difficulties we can encounter in intimate relationships is lack of concentration. The body is there but the thoughts are about yesterday, tomorrow, the shopping list or the clothes that need to be taken out of the washing machine. Thus, it is practically impossible to achieve full arousal and appreciate the pleasant sensations that sex offers.
Thus Focusing techniques in the present if they are here and now, they can be very useful.
To end…
Unfortunately, many women suffer in silence from these types of problems due to shame, resignation, myths or lack of information regarding the extent of treatments.
I therefore consider it relevant to disseminate these treatments and transmit hope to anyone who is going through a similar situation.
