Emotional Independence: What It Is, Its Benefits, And How To Enhance It
Many people may be able to live a healthy life by forming and maintaining personal relationships without necessarily being emotionally dependent on another person. However, there are those who have a practically pathological dependency need to feel cared for and accepted by others.
In this article We are going to address the issue of emotional independence and its difference with emotional dependence. We will also review several emotional independence tips to encourage it.
Emotional independence is the attitude through which an individual is relatively emotionally autonomous, that is, can lead a free life, without depending on another person or someone else It is important to specify that this concept of independence considers that human beings are social and that they need a bond with others to be able to achieve a healthy level of life. Furthermore, emotional independence is a very important aspect in the development of the person in favor of their development, growth and psychological and social maturity.
There are various benefits that we can have when we present emotional independence. Among the main ones, the fact that being emotionally independent stands out allows us to have satisfactory interpersonal relationships with others, enjoy individual activities, have self-confidence to undertake projects and assume our responsibilities, have emotional control of ourselves, and not always need others. to make decisions, not need someone else to feel good, etc.
In this sense, Providing attention to emotional needs during childhood turns out to be important to help ensure that from a young age we are prepared to be emotionally independent when we reach adulthood. Boys and girls need healthy models of social and emotional interaction that seek to foster socioemotional maturity so that they can relate to others while maintaining a balance between what they contribute and what they receive. It is important that parents promote self-confidence in their children, using a democratic parenting style, providing parenting that really helps in the good development of the child, which would benefit the correct development of emotional independence.
The opposite of independence is dependence, understood as a behavioral pattern in which the person tends to experience a need for others to assume their responsibilities These individuals have a fear of separation from the people on whom they depend emotionally, they have difficulty making decisions on their own, they have difficulty expressing their disagreement with others for fear of being rejected, and they are uncomfortable with the idea of be alone
Dependence occurs when the individual presents a series of emotional demands that have not been covered and that you try to fill through another person, often the couple. Some causes of emotional dependence and its consequences will be explained below.
It is very common for emotional dependence to occur in individuals or people who have had emotional deficiencies during their childhood. These individuals act by clinging to certain people in order to have the love and care that they have always longed for, trying to fill a void that they always had regarding paternal or maternal love. That clinging or attachment that emotionally dependent people make would be a defense mechanism to be able to deal with those absences that they have.
Emotional dependence can also occur in individuals or people who have had parents or caregivers who have been inordinately overprotective If a father or mother is overprotective of his or her son or daughter, it prevents the boy or girl from developing autonomously and independently, having unfavorable consequences in the future. Many individuals who present this type of excessive protection tend to become emotionally dependent people.
Many people question whether it is possible to achieve emotional independence and the answer is clear and precise: Yes. It is possible to have a healthy life in our way of relating to others, in a respectful and sincere way, with maturity to not depend or be hooked up with another person. Let’s see how to enhance emotional independence through these tips
1. Learn to give value to ourselves
The main strategy to obtain emotional independence is start giving ourselves the value we deserve We must enjoy spending time alone with ourselves, in the same way we must enjoy the time we can spend with other people without this always being a need for which we have to depend.
If we have ourselves and give ourselves the value we deserve, we would be helping to develop emotional independence.
2. Maintain healthy relationships with others
It is essential to become aware of how healthy it is to establish healthy interpersonal relationships with others, without normalizing patterns of behavior based on dependency or the romanticization of constant sacrifice without receiving anything in return or even despite suffering violations. In this way we will have a more harmonious, independent and balanced life with ourselves and with others Avoid falling into attachment because it should feel good to be alone with ourselves.
3. Confront and reform irrational beliefs
It is important to reform and confront the irrational way of interpreting information that we sometimes tend to keep in front of others. We have to analyze whether or not that way of thinking really adjusts to reality and not only to what we are fantasizing at that moment due to our emotions. It is essential for the development of emotional independence to promote more adaptive thoughts, adjusted to reality about ourselves and our relationships with others.
There are various books written by various authors that can help us reflect on the topic of emotional independence. These readings help people first become aware of how important it is to promote independence. Very popular and recommended books are those by Walter Riso and Laura Gutman, who address this topic in a very interesting way, helping us to know how beneficial we can be if we are emotionally independent.
4. If necessary, go to psychotherapy
Going to therapy is the most responsible and safe way to promote our emotional independence and overcome emotional dependence. In this way we will promote an emotional independence that helps us value ourselves, be able to understand how to build healthier interpersonal relationships without neglecting ourselves and give ourselves the value that we really deserve.
