Emotional (or Love) Withdrawal Syndrome: What It Is And How To Overcome It
The most significant personal relationships for us influence our mind so much that they even affect the functioning of the brain. An example of this is found in emotional withdrawal syndrome a form of discomfort linked to love.
In the following lines we will talk about this phenomenon and delve into its characteristics, something necessary to know how to manage emotional withdrawal syndrome in situations such as a breakup.
After a breakup, and especially in the first days and weeks after saying goodbye, we can experience very intense feelings that, on many occasions, can affect our ability to be objective and rational. Pain, sadness, anguish, inability to concentrate and the desire to contact our ex-partner They can lead us to situations of vulnerability, in which it is possible to get carried away by impulses or outbursts that we may regret later.
Ending a relationship and letting go of the person we have loved so much is complicated, and even though we are clear that we have done the right thing by walking away, moments may arise in which we feel weak and let our emotions dominate us. In fact, psychologists claim that falling in love activates the same brain regions as drug consumption, which leads some individuals to experience emotional or love withdrawal syndrome when they have to break up with their partner. This not only causes psychological pain but can also lead to physical symptoms.
The chemistry in the brain of a lover
To understand what emotional withdrawal syndrome is, it is necessary to know the characteristics in common between many romantic relationships and what we usually understand by the word “addiction”; In both processes, a dynamic of dependence on something or someone arises.
Anyone who has experienced falling in love knows that it is, without a doubt, one of the best experiences we can have. But there is also the other side of the coin: it is heartbreak. A difficult situation to overcome, which can lead us to an existential crisis if we do not know how to manage it correctly.
And heartbreak leads us to live really painful moments, because the brain chemistry of the person in love can make us feel addicted to our ex directing all our senses towards that person and making our daily life become an attempt to get ahead and recover our well-being even though we want to melt into the arms of our special someone.
When we have the “monkey” for someone
The chemistry of love can make us live in a cloud, but when we do not have the possibility of being with the person we want we can feel the “monkey”, as if it were a drug.
When we fall in love, our brain secretes substances such as serotonin (related to happiness), endorphins (hormones associated with the sensation of pleasure), adrenaline (makes us feel energetic) and dopamine, which has an important function in survival of the human being, by causing the repetition of those behaviors that are key to the survival of the species. For example, food or sex. But It is also involved in addictive behaviors such as drug use or gambling.
In this sense, the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, after an investigation, stated that “when love breaks, just as when someone gives up drugs, side effects such as depressive or obsessive behaviors, and even withdrawal syndrome, may appear. . Generally, this syndrome, whether emotional or due to drug abuse, causes psychological and physical symptoms, because it affects our nervous system.”
emotional withdrawal syndrome It appears when we have to stop seeing the person we are in love with, whether by our own will or by someone else’s And in those situations in which there may be conflicts, such as toxic relationships, infidelities, etc. Your symptoms may increase. Fortunately, some people are aware that these symptoms are temporary and that, over time, it is possible to regain emotional balance once the neural circuits weaken.
Nevertheless, some individuals are unable to cope with emotional pain have low self-esteem or do not have the necessary tools to overcome this stage.
As a consequence, they become hooked on their partner: they are unable to overcome their addiction to that person. In these cases, it is necessary to go to psychological therapy to internalize new ways of managing emotions and other routines capable of provide sources of motivation outside that relationship
The symptoms that a person with emotional withdrawal syndrome experiences are:
Psychological symptoms:
Physical symptoms
The duration of the withdrawal syndrome varies from person to person, and in many cases it can be a brief experience, which disappears as the situation is accepted Now, since heartbreak is not a linear process, it may happen that the affected person experiences this syndrome frequently, because they are unable to cope with the situation or because they continue to have contact with the person they love despite the breakup.
What to do to overcome emotional withdrawal syndrome
To overcome withdrawal syndrome and, in general, heartbreak, it is possible to follow some of these strategies.
1. Recognize the symptoms and know that it is temporary
The emotional withdrawal syndrome peaks shortly after the breakup (the first month is usually the most difficult) but over time it is possible to overcome it. That’s why It is important to recognize that one is going through this phase of heartbreak (which is transitory) in order to try to control this very real and painful physical and emotional experience.
When you find yourself in the situation of leaving a relationship, continuing to have contact with your partner (with the illusion that things could be fixed) is counterproductive. The only thing that makes clear is that there is emotional dependence and prolongs the suffering if the true intention is to be happy again and recover well-being after a relationship that has not worked.
For this reason Psychologists recommend 0 contact, that is, “all or nothing.”, because just as happens with drug addiction, seeing the person you love and having contact with them favors relapses. If we follow the logic of Classical Conditioning, exposure to the loved person reactivates the neural circuit that is involved in falling in love, so if we want to weaken it and recover emotional stability, we must be strong and break any type of contact with the person. .
Furthermore, if the feeling is very intense, it is even recommended to avoid contact through social networks, because these cause some phenomena such as FOMO Syndrome that increase obsession and suffering after a breakup
3. Get distracted
One of the big mistakes that can be made in this phase is to give free rein to obsession and intrusive thoughts, which are usually common: memories and memories appear over and over again in our minds That is why it is important to look for activities that force us to be distracted. Spending time with friends, studying or going to the gym work very well.
4. Fight for your own personal development
When we leave it with our partner, the cost to our self-esteem is high. Therefore, we must connect with ourselves and do those things that we like Things that make us grow as people and that we enjoy. Maybe study that master’s degree that motivates us so much or sign up for dance classes. You know what really makes you happy and makes your life full.
