Emotional Responsibility: What It Is And How To Apply It To Relationships
We are social beings, from the moment we are born, someone interacts with us and that is when we begin to forge the first bonds with the people around us that will increase over the years. This is not surprising since our brain is programmed to function as a member of a social group and interestingly, we are highly sensitive to the most subtle emotional changes that occur in the individuals around us. In short, we can affirm that our behaviors emotionally affect the people around us and vice versa.
There are individuals who are aware of the effect of their words, actions or comments on the emotions of others and, on the contrary, others who simply say the first thing that comes to mind without thinking about how it may affect others. This last group of people take refuge behind the pretext that their life is their own and they have the right to say whatever they want at any time. However, for today’s article, we will focus on the first group of people, those who act in an emotionally responsible way towards others, or rather, those with emotional responsibility Now, what does this term mean?
Emotional responsibility or affective responsibility is based on take charge of our actions, words and emotions and their impact on others, as well as having consideration for the feelings of others. In short, it is defined as mutual care and respect through communication and empathy that serves as a pillar to create a healthy intimate relationship. We want to clarify that this term is not synonymous with thinking about others but not about yourself. In fact, the moment a person adjusts their behavior to the needs of others, neglecting their own, we stop talking about emotional responsibility.
In this regard, it is important to differentiate emotional responsibility from too much empathy and emotional blackmail. As for the first, as we have mentioned, emotional responsibility requires empathy, but like everything, a balance must be found. An excess of empathy leads to an exaggerated involvement with the other to such a point that it prevents us from taking distance of problems and can generate a big negative ball. For example, if a friend is fired from work and the person with exaggerated empathy is not able to think coldly and distance themselves, they may try to overprotect them and this prevents the person from clarifying their own ideas and, consequently, feeling overwhelmed.
Regarding emotional blackmail, it should be clear that this occurs when we act according to the ideals, values or interests of the other person, depriving our own due to a feeling of guilt that has generated in us. It is as if you are in eternal debt to him and must comply with his wishes for fear of the harmful consequences that may arise from not giving in to them. Again, this has nothing to do with emotional responsibility.
You may have heard about ghosting on social media, since it is a term that is in fashion. As the English word “ghost” says; The term refers to disappearing like a ghost. That is, it is the practice of ceasing all communication and contact with a person without warning or justification. It is normally used when you are starting to get to know someone romantically and when everything seemed to be going well, suddenly one day, just like that, that person disappears. Although the term is new, the act of course is not. Emotional responsibility is considered the opposite of “ghosting” or rather, “ghosting” is a clear lack of emotional responsibility.
Accepting the consequences that our words or actions have on others brings with it a series of benefits that are worth highlighting. At the level of interpersonal relationships, significant improvements are found due to the use of emotional responsibility. The quality of social relationships benefits from this skill, since a necessary support network is created. As we mentioned at the beginning, human beings need to feel part of a group and therefore, if emotional responsibility improves social networks, it seems evident that it in turn improves our quality of life.
On a personal level, emotional responsibility has also proven to be beneficial. It has been found to help people feel better about themselves and not only this, but the more this skill is used, the more self-satisfaction grows. This positive loop makes us feel better about ourselves, increasing our security, well-being, happiness and of course, once again, quality of life.
Disadvantages of emotional responsibility
Affective responsibility shows disadvantages when it is used incorrectly or has been misunderstood. When we are forced to do those things that make the people around us feel good, leaving aside what we really like, is when feelings of guilt appear and the main disadvantage we were talking about. Therefore, acting using this skill does not imply at all setting aside our emotions, thoughts or behaviors.
How to enhance and train emotional responsibility?
Reading this article, you may have realized that it is not easy to be emotionally responsible and you may even feel that you have not been so many times. Do not be alarmed. We have the great advantage that emotional responsibility is not a personality trait, therefore, we can learn it and improve it over time. As if it were a muscle, it only needs training. Below you will find some tips to be able to add this skill to our emotional intelligence:
Based on the advice of psychology experts, below we list some tips to be able to put into practice and make use of emotional responsibility:
In conclusion…
Affective responsibility is a term that is booming, especially among young people on social networks. Although this is something positive since it indicates the inclination of many adolescents to offer and seek friends and partners with this quality, educational institutions should take emotional responsibility with more consideration and implement it as a present value throughout the educational stage. It could be very positive to encourage this behavior more frequently and in more emotional bonds that, in turn, avoid possible ailments and psychological discomfort derived from poor management of responsibility towards others.
