The emotional validation It is a process of learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of the emotional experience of another individual or oneself (emotional self-validation). The opposite of emotional validation is “emotional invalidation,” which refers to the rejection, ignorance, or judgment of another person’s emotional experience.
validation emotion improves interpersonal relationships since the other person feels understood, recognized, and favors the increase in verbalization of what the other thinks and feels, since the other feels heard. This causes an increase in trust between the two and establishes the basis for creating a good relationship.
Let’s start with a summary definition of the term “emotional validation.” Its about psychological process based on the acceptance of emotions and feelings, without subjecting them to moral evaluations Enhancing emotional validation involves assuming that emotional phenomena are largely something that we cannot control, and therefore, something for which we should not feel guilty if we consider that they are inadequate judging by social conventions. In this sense, it is a fundamental aspect of parenting, since applying them in the home education of boys and girls helps them maintain good self-esteem.
Acceptance, empathy and expression of emotional validation
The acceptance It is an option that is presented to us when it comes to resolving conflicts, especially in interpersonal relationships. As part of this, emotional validation is a way of communicating acceptance towards others (or towards ourselves), but it does not mean that we agree or share the other person’s thoughts. Validation is accepting and accepting as valid what another person is feeling, whether or not we agree with their point of view or their feelings. Therefore, emotional validation is empathy and acceptance towards another individual.
On the other hand, although it is common to judge or criticize what other people think if we do not agree with them, on many occasions we do not show that we disagree. This is not emotional validation, anymore. emotional validation offers opportunities for emotional expression Validation is not only accepting emotions, but this acceptance must be communicated to the other person.
Tips to improve emotional validation
Learning to validate emotions correctly can take practice. Validating an emotion consists of making explicit the emotion we believe the person has (e.g. Does this make you feel…?) and implies that the other person feels understood, valued and accepted. Here are some tips to improve emotional validation.
1. Be present
There are many ways to be present, but in the world we live in we are not always present. Being in mindfulness (or mindfulness) is the first step to emotional validation. Some strategies to achieve this are: hold the hand of the person who is speaking to us and pay attention to what they say, or use active listening. Mindfulness training can be useful for learning to be in the present moment.
2. Listen and reflect
The objective reflection It refers to making an objective summary of what the other person has told you. But not just any summary is valid, but after active listening (paying attention to their reactions and emotions), reflection allows you to learn and understand more deeply by seeing situations from different lenses.
Challenging questions will even help you question your own beliefs about the world. But to carry out an objective reflection, it is necessary to have knowledge about Emotional Intelligence, since it can help you understand, label and regulate emotions, since separate the latter from thoughts and cultural impositions
On many occasions we let ourselves be carried away by the intensity of emotions and We don’t stop to think about the cause of other people’s reactions It is essential to understand what the other person may be feeling or thinking. Each individual’s ability with respect to emotional intelligence is different, but it can be learned. Although we cannot read minds, we can try to find out what led the other person to act that way.
To understand another person’s reaction, you can encourage them to talk through carefully selected questions and expressions that let them know that you understand how they feel and that you are willing to listen to them talk about it. For example, “I think you were offended by the comment I just made.”
4. Understand the situation
It is important have knowledge about the culture and context of the other Therefore, reading emotions implies that with few elements you can formulate a hypothesis about your emotional reaction. This hypothesis must be communicated to the other person so that he can tell us if we are right.
For example, with a person who has been bitten by a dog, we might say, “Because of what happened to you with a dog a few years ago, I understand that you don’t want my dog near you.”
5. Normalize emotions
Understand emotional reactions like something normal helps everyone For an emotionally sensitive person, knowing that most people can feel the same way in the same situation is beneficial. For example, “I understand that you may be anxious or nervous. Speaking in front of the public can be a difficult situation the first time.”
6. Have an open mind to the emotional experience of the other
The acceptance and open mind towards the emotional experience of the other will be positive for any interpersonal relationship. Regardless of the emotion the other person is feeling, it is their emotion and it must be respected. It is important to make room for all emotions, since they all have a meaning
