During our lives we are continually faced with situations in which others must give us an answer. If we pass the exam or not, if we can go to the movies with our friends, if we are accepted in the group of friends, if we are loved by the person we love, if the projects we present at work are accepted, if they accept our loan. mortgage on our first home… and an endless number of situations.
Every person in their history has had a number of yeses and noes. Each of us has been facing rejections and successes in the best way possible.
In general, what is important is not the number of yeses or noes we receive, but the way in which we deal with them. If one receives constant negatives, but manages to face the situation positively and get up, he will work until he gets the yes.
It will generate resilience to no, which will make you strong. If you allow yourself to be defeated by the no and do not try again, staying with this answer, you will hardly achieve your objectives, whatever they may be.
In the case of people looking for work, saying no, and especially the accumulation of no’s, causes great frustration. We must consider that in this situation you always receive a no for an answer until you get the yes for the new job, so we are not going to have good news to compensate for the bad, and thus make it easier for us to maintain motivation.
In all these situations, we hope that you will answer us clearly, and that the answer will be yes. If so, we do not ask for justification since we have achieved our objective.
Now, when the answer is no, what we expect, desire, want and need is for them to explain it to us. The truth is that reality does not always correspond to our desires.
In most cases they do not tell us the cause, or what they tell us we do not like nor is it a justification for us. On the contrary, other times the justification fits what we believe.
Only in this last case do we remain calm. It affirms us in our beliefs, “it really wasn’t the position for me.”
In the first 2 cases, we get angry with the interviewer, because of how little work they have taken or because of how wrong they are. Above all, in such an important situation for us.
And what’s worse, we can get hooked on justifying no, taking it personally, reducing our self-esteem.
The interviewers’ comments are interesting, but they must be taken and evaluated, giving them the right importance. They are comments to a 1-hour interview, about a specific position for a specific company. It is not an evaluation of your professional career and even less of you as a person. Everyone knows how they did in the interview and the skills and competencies they have. Allowing ourselves to be defeated by comments is of no use to us.
Once our application has been rejected, we must value the experience as one more step on the way to getting the new job. It is useless to consider this rejection as a sign of failure and the impossibility of finding a new job, and therefore throw in the towel.
The transition period between 2 positions is like the Vuelta Ciclista, it is a long-distance race, with different stages, which must be passed without fainting. The important thing is to reach the final goal.
From Psychology, some strategies have been studied and applied to increase resilience and that can also help to face the noes in the process of searching for a job.
Below I list some:
1. You have to be aware of emotions, positive and negative, and manage them. We must remain calm and not get carried away by the first emotional impulse. You have to reflect when making decisions.
2. Look for the positive and realistic aspects of the situation. Analyze the negatives to learn, but don’t get stuck in them. Keep going.
3. Analyze the situation from different points of view. Analyze your emotions and thoughts, but also distance yourself, and try to put yourself in the point of view of an observer who was watching you. what do you think he would think?
4. Use empathy, try to put yourself in the interviewer’s position. What do you think he thinks or wants? what are you looking for? What did you do when you were an interviewer in a selection process?
5. Recognize your strengths and always keep them in mind. Repeat them as usual. When you were working you had them, and now too.
6. Explore new solutions and new approaches to the situation. Sometimes it is good to consider problems from scratch. If a strategy has not worked, consider how to improve it and try it. Don’t wait for it to be perfect. Take action. As you may have seen, the strategies listed can be applied to the job search or other experiences in which we may see our candidacy or proposal rejected. It is good to remember that they reject our candidacy, not us. We fail an exam, not us. They say no to our proposal, not to us.
Definition of Resilience:Resilience is the process of adapting and coping appropriately with adverse situations, trauma, tragedy, threat, or significant sources of stress, such as family or relationship problems, serious health problems, or stressful work or financial situations.
