Fear In Relationships: What Causes It And How To Overcome It
In relationships, human beings find the greatest learning, the greatest satisfaction, and the most relevant and transcendent experiences of our lives… but also the greatest difficulties.
Our fears and fears flow into the relationship with a greater intensity, as if that emotional bond implied a kind of emotional catharsis. What do these fears and fears lead you to? Where do they come from? And above all: how to solve them?
Human beings are naturally social, affective and emotional animals. We need contact and relationships with others to know ourselves and grow “The other” is a kind of mirror in which we reflect ourselves.
But the romantic or romantic relationship is different. In that mirror our best qualities are reflected (the ability to love, understand and accompany, precisely through differences) and our deepest difficulties also emerge (the fear of abandonment, the need to want to be in control, the use of partner as a reflex to exploit, jealousy, insecurities, dissatisfaction, etc.).
Learning as a couple is learning about oneself
The relationship as a couple is a projection of the state of learning and personal development in which we are Sometimes we believe that our relationship is going well just because our expectations are met, but this is usually only common in the early phases of the relationship, where two completely different people meet and come together only based on their similarities and compatibilities.
Over time, difficulties come, differences, in a kind of fight of egos and where the greatest fears and apprehensions are felt Where do these fears come from?
Each person has a very particular and small point of view of reality. Each person interprets reality according to their vision, belief system, self-esteem, and above all their way of managing their emotions. This makes you believe that you “are” in a certain way, you have specific needs (which are mostly fictitious and also a product of those fears). All these difficulties are usually reflected in the couple and the attitudes end up being defensive Instead of accompanying each other, we fight and try to control the other to conform to our point of view and vision of how life should be.
The conclusion is simple: You cannot, nor should you, try to control anything that is outside of you
How fear works
Fear is a necessary, basic and fundamental emotion for survival. Fear helps you protect your life. Thus, the problem with fear and fears is not your fears themselves, but the way in which you manage your emotions and those fears specifically.
Fears as a couple are usually too abstract, unreal, a projection of an event that has not happened We have learned to live according to fear not because of our past experiences, but because we have not known how to understand and manage our emotions in times of difficulty. This leaves a mark on you that is reflected in the couple. However, a relationship is precisely a perfect opportunity to cleanse that mark, learn to understand and manage your emotions and have them on your side instead of against you.
Emotion management to create trust and security and overcome fears in the couple
The basis of everything that happens to us is in emotions, since we are emotional beings and emotion is a constant in our lives, which not only influences our state of mind but also in every decision we make, behavior, way of communicating and to understand life and interpret situations.
Emotion management is a lifelong learning It includes 3 necessary learnings: learning to understand your emotions and not living conditioned by them, learning to manage them in a functional way with a concrete action plan, and learning to generate trust and security in your life and that this learning lasts forever ( because you learn mainly about yourself).
If you want to take the step, you can register for free at Emociónate within empowermenthumano.com, where you can delve deeper into your emotions and take the necessary steps to learn to manage them forever and thus have them on your side instead of against you.
Relationships, with all their difficulties and hard times, are the most revealing experience of our lives because they show us who we are and, above all, who we are not. It is difficult to answer the question of who you are, but you can know who you are not: you are not all those fears, fears and insecurities. Transcending them will be the key to living with well-being, both with yourself and with others.
