Fear Of Being A Mother: Why It Appears And How To Overcome It
The fear of being a mother is one of the psychological phenomena that goes most unnoticed, even though it is experienced by many women. It is not something to be taken lightly, as it corresponds to motherhood, a fact that transforms the daily life of someone who is going to have a baby and who, consequently, thinks about this entire process through strong emotional involvement.
In this article we will see Why the fear of motherhood can appear and what can be done to overcome it
The fear of becoming a mother is relatively common in women who are considering the possibility of becoming pregnant for the first time or who are already pregnant. In the latter case, the emotional impact of receiving the news of the pregnancy can lead to serious suffering even if they had already planned to become pregnant. Ambiguity and ambivalence in feelings is something very characteristic when the fear of motherhood is present.
Below we see some of the most important key ideas to assess what the causes of this fear may be, in each case.
1. Is it a desired pregnancy?
Some women confuse the fear of being mothers with the simple fact of not wanting to be mothers. Due to the traces left by the machismo that has prevailed for centuries in practically all cultures, the will of women tends to be overlooked when it comes to their own ability to conceive, assuming that motherhood is a phase of life that they must go through when this is not the case at all.
Not wanting to have children is, of course, something totally legitimate, and the social pressure that can lead to seeing the refusal to have a baby as a problem It should not be seen as an individual problem, but as a collective, community one
2. Fear of medical complications
Many women feel afraid when thinking about the danger of childbirth. Although fortunately in most developed countries it is possible to give birth under medical care conditions that provide a lot of security, there are times when this guarantee cannot be counted on (either because of the place in which one lives or due to other reasons). material conditions). On the other hand, it may also happen that this danger is overestimated.
Furthermore, in many cases a double fear is perceived: to die oneself, and for the baby to die
3. The fear of not being prepared
It is also very common, in cases of fear of being a mother, that motherhood is seen as a task that requires many skills and competencies at the same time, without leaving time to “train” in them without exposing the newborn to risks or dangers. The new role of mother is seen as a total transformation that requires adopting totally different habits something that is not easy to do or plan.
4. The fear of transmitting problems
Beyond the possible imagined inability to be a mother, there are also those who fear creating a new life, since they assume that they will possibly have an unhappy existence due to the fact of being born to someone they were born to, inheriting a whole series of problems.
As we have seen, the fear of being a mother is not based on a lack of will to be one, but on the fear of creating big problems from a pregnancy, even though there is something about motherhood that is seductive or even intimidating. despite wanting to have a baby. That is, there is a duality: You want to have a son or daughter, but there are a series of obstacles that can harm the woman who suffers it or the baby to come, or both, and that are almost inherent to the process of becoming a mother.
Each case is unique, and the intensity of this fear can vary greatly For those women who feel especially bad about this anxiety, it is advisable to go to a mental health professional, but for the rest, it may be enough to try to apply some very basic and simple principles that we will see below.
1. Find out about health coverage
It is a very basic first step that can avoid many worries. Seeing the way in which medical teams can attend to the needs and possible problems that arise during motherhood is a relief. Many times, It is preferred not to do this so as not to have to think about the pregnancy (since it produces anxiety), but if this first obstacle is overcome, a good part of the fear will go away.
2. Assess the material conditions in which one lives
If there are reasons to think that motherhood is materially unfeasible due to lack of resources, it is advisable to postpone pregnancy, but to do so it is important to ask for third opinions, because the fear of motherhood can greatly bias our point of view
It is true that taking care of a baby is a responsibility, but it is not a task reserved only for an intellectual or physical elite: with the proper learning process, this maternal or paternal role can be played well
The simple fact of getting involved and learning during the previous months makes us feel more prepared and the fear of being a mother goes away, while increasing self-esteem.
