Fear Of Being Homosexual: What It Is And How It Is Expressed
It is clear that human beings are characterized by their great variety of differentiated behaviors, both in individuals and within groups and in society in general. However, few variables in terms of behavioral patterns and psychological predispositions receive as much attention as the expression of sexual orientation.
Historically, this concept has been linked to a strong stigma; a stigma oriented towards forms of sexuality considered unconventional, such as homosexuality. Furthermore, this is not only exerted by society towards the individual who sees himself as a minority, but it is also installed in the minds of people, many of whom adopt a kind of “internal police”, a tendency to try to control the own thoughts and indications of forms of sexual desire and attraction to avoid. This gives shape to the psychological problem of fear of being homosexualwhich has harmful effects on both oneself and society.
What it is and how the fear of being homosexual is expressed: a double problem
The first thing to know is that the fear of being homosexual is not a concept that appears in an “official” way (that is, standardized and conceptually limited from the scientific consensus) that appears in diagnostic manuals such as the DSM-5. .
However, that does not mean that an approach cannot be made to what it reflects, and which is very real: many people suffer and develop patterns of behavior and thought regulation that are harmful and have to do with trying to avoid being homosexual and /or show yourself as such. In fact, There has been research on this phenomenon for years..
It is generally understood that the fear of being homosexual is made up of these elements.
1. Homophobia
Homophobia does not have to be expressed as hatred towards homosexuals; It can also be more subtle and based on the idea that homosexuality is bad and therefore a source of shame wherever it occurs. In many cases there is talk of internalized homophobia, applied especially to homosexual people who believe that this sexual orientation in itself is a problem, something inherently bad.
Furthermore, homophobia is linked to a tendency to detect unconventional or non-standard forms of gender expression, giving them a lot of importance in oneself and in others. For example, it is known that in men there is a correlation between the predisposition to homophobia and the fear of being perceived as feminine.
On the other hand, along with the homophobia present in individuals, we must also take into account that in many aspects There are still cultural elements and social inertias that perpetuate the existence of homophobia: This does not come out spontaneously in people, but in a certain sense seeing things in their environment that lead them to think that they should view non-heterosexuality with bad eyes or with suspicion.
2. Obsessive thoughts
In this context of Clinical Psychology, obsessions are patterns of the appearance of intrusive and anxiety-generating thoughts that appear in our consciousness in an unwanted way and they predispose us to try to alleviate the discomfort they urgently generate, carrying out behaviors that counteract the effect of the former.
For example, in the case of people who experience fear of being homosexual, it is common that when unpleasant ideas come to mind that make them doubt their sexuality, they feel the need to test what attracts them, either performing sexual behaviors interacting with others or with the environment, or performing “thought checking” tasks, mental experiments that help them refute that idea that is unpleasant to them. As we will see, this can become a true diagnosable psychopathology.
3. Social fears and erosion of self-esteem
As a consequence of the above, people who are afraid of being homosexual feel that they have an Achilles heel, a psychological vulnerability that can be exploited by others if they find out that what is happening (something enhanced by the fact that there continues to be a stigma in non-heterosexuality, in some countries even with legal and institutional expression).
This generates a vicious circle effect, making the person give even more importance to the issue of their sexual orientation in order to be alert and avoid, if they were really homosexual, let others notice.
OCD based on fear of being gay or lesbian
As we have seen, the fear of being homosexual works through a whiting that bites its tail: The idea produces discomfort, and the desire to get that idea out of your head due to the discomfort it generates makes it even more powerful. and more ability to capture the person’s attention. This means that, even in extreme cases, a person who has never really felt sexual attraction for someone of their gender develops this kind of fear, having a “snowball” effect of obsessions, fears and insecurities.
Sometimes the fear of being homosexual even fits with the symptoms of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), which makes sense if we take into account that in this psychopathology obsessions can take almost any form as long as they are considered something that is “outside the norm” or what should be.
It is estimated that around 11% of people who present the typical symptoms of OCD suffer or have suffered obsessions associated with their sexual orientation. Furthermore, these types of symptoms tend to appear somewhat earlier in men, although this type of psychological problem can occur at practically any age.
Are you looking for psychological help?
The fears and anxiety problems linked to our experience of sexual orientation can be overcome through psychotherapy.
If you are looking for professional help, contact me. In Azor & Associates We have more than 20 years of experience in the field of Psychology, and we will be happy to help you either in person (in Madrid) or online. You will find our contact details on this page.
