Fear Of Decision Making: What It Is, Causes And How To Manage It
Fear of making decisions is common since deciding is something we do practically every day and there is always a certain fear of making mistakes or not living up to what we have chosen.
On many occasions this indecision is resolved by allowing a little time to pass, meditating more deeply and obtaining a little more information to finally make up your mind.
However, sometimes it can become a real problem, a situation of constant doubt that traps us, limiting our lives by not making the decision to choose one path or another. Let’s delve into this curious but problematic situation of hesitation.
Making decisions is not an easy task, especially if we have to decide on something very important. Every decision has consequences and, although we always want good things to happen, this is not always the case. That is why it is normal to be a little afraid before deciding on a matter, for fear of making a mistake and that what comes next could harm both us and third parties.
But life is full of decisions. We have to decide to change jobs or continue in one that burns us out but gives us economic stability. We have to decide whether to have children or wait a few more years. We have to decide, and in many things. This is why it is so important to learn to manage the fear of making decisions, learn to manage the uncertainty of our lives and face situations with more calm and greater security.
Some call the fear of making decisions “decidephobia.” This is not an academic term that refers to a specific phobia, since it is not. It is simply the situation in which we are afraid, almost afraid, of having to face a situation in which we have to choose between two or several options, which can represent a momentous decision in our lives. This situation generates anxiety, stress and, if experienced with a lot of psychological discomfort, it can be said that it acquires psychopathological nuances.
In decision making there can always be a certain component of fear, a certain fear that once we have chosen an option, it will turn out to be the wrong one and the consequences of which will be, to a greater or lesser extent, our responsibility. Having to carry the weight of guilt for not having chosen appropriately is something that we do not want to have to face and, therefore, this fear appears during decision making.
However, If this fear is too high, preventing us from choosing one option or another, we have a problem. In life we have to choose and, even if we are not sure, sooner or later we will have to opt for an option. We cannot delay the decision any longer because, otherwise, the current situation may worsen, making the old options no longer valid and being replaced by new ones, which can lead us into a new situation of indecision.
The fear of making decisions can be so high that we excessively avoid having to make a decision. We launch a passive response, deciding to wait for the situation to resolve itself trusting that time will solve the problem or reduce the original options and make it easier for us to make decisions.
By stopping facing what makes us afraid, we think that this emotion will end up disappearing on its own, but this is not really the case. The fear of consequences continues and, although we believe that those consequences are no longer going to be our responsibility, the truth is that not choosing is also a decision and therefore we are responsible for it. Furthermore, in this case we could find ourselves in a worse situation, in which since we were not the ones who made the choice, we enter a situation of great uncertainty without knowing what is going to happen.
Another behavior related to fear of decision making is procrastination of a decision motivated by the idea that we need to obtain more information to decide on an option. It is true that waiting until we have more information about a certain issue can benefit us, making us make a better-informed decision. However, it can also happen that this is an excuse, and that the real reason behind it is not an interest in having a broader vision but rather delaying decision-making hiding behind the fact that there is still not enough information.
It is normal that when we have to decide about something very important we get stuck. All kinds of negative and catastrophic thoughts pass through our minds about how bad things can go if we choose one path or another, causing fear to paralyze us and lead us to a situation of constant doubt, making us hesitate about absolutely all the options. . By not knowing what to do we remain blocked, which causes us a high level of anxiety.
How to manage this indecision?
Although feeling a little fear and anxiety while making a decision is normal, this is no longer normal when it makes it impossible for us to continue with our lives completely. We did not decide, staying blocked and feeling a lot of anxiety , which is a problem that must be learned to handle. There are several strategies that can help us manage the fear of making decisions.
1. Identify that fear
Fear is a necessary emotion, a feeling that helps us prevent danger. It is natural to have it when we are in a situation where we have to decide. However, if we try to deny it, run away from it, it will become bigger, making us delay our decision making for a long time, bringing with it only discomfort and potential negative consequences due to neglect.
We must listen, accept, dare to feel and understand that fear, knowing that we feel it because we find ourselves in a situation in which we have to decide about something that will bring, like everything in this life, its consequences. Listening to it will help us understand its meaning, to know what we are afraid of and will make it easier for us to assume the future consequences of our choice.
2. Accept uncertainty
Uncertainty is always present in our lives. We must understand that when making decisions there is a certain degree of control, but we cannot control everything since there are circumstances that are out of our hands.
That is why we must tolerate uncertainty, understand that in life there are always things that are beyond our control and that of others. We must trust more in our ability to choose and, also, in our ability to face the consequences of our decisions.
The anxiety and fear present during decision making cause our minds to be invaded by a shower of pessimistic thoughts. All kinds of catastrophes come to mind, situations in which we do not want to find ourselves, scenarios that we want to avoid at all costs. Sometimes there are so many thoughts that go through our heads that we don’t even have time to process them.
A good way to deal with them is to ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?” When we ask ourselves this question we can put a face and name to our fears, associate them with concrete consequences and We see that they may not be that big of a deal and that the best thing we can do is make a decision once and for all.
You may be interested: “Pessimistic personality: what 6 traits characterize it?”
4. Learn to feel capable of making good decisions
The fear of making decisions and the passive response of waiting for the time to decide for us can lead us into a very limiting situation. By not seeing ourselves as capable of deciding on our own, we run the risk of losing many good opportunities for growth and well-being, in addition to trapping ourselves in a feeling of helplessness, feeling that what happens to us does not depend on us.
In life you have to have very bad luck so that everything we decide turns out wrong. It is true that there are times when mistakes are made, but if one meditates deeply on the decision to choose, this happens with less probability. For this reason, we must learn to feel capable of making good decisions, being aware that as long as we reflect on what we are going to do, it is quite likely that we will have more positive consequences than negative ones.
