Feeling Alone Is Not The Same As Being Alone: When Is Loneliness Negative?
Do you know that feeling alone is not the same as being alone? Why can one feeling of loneliness be positive and another negative? Discover how to stop feeling alone and enjoy your company.
Being alone is very different from feeling alone. Even though they are similar phrases or facts, the reality behind them changes completely. In fact, one implies a good relationship with the feeling of loneliness and the other means being very alone despite the company we have at our side. Learning to be alone and stop feeling alone is vital to enjoying ourselves and everyone around us. Therefore, feeling alone must imply a change from within.
There is a lot of research that shows all the disadvantages that loneliness and social isolation have on our mental health. Feeling alone As a couple, in another company or simply with ourselves, it can be detrimental to our well-being. For this reason, it is essential to learn to be alone and enjoy these moments where the feeling of loneliness is a good and productive emotion for us.
In most cases, people tend to avoid feeling of loneliness since they believe that it is much better to be constantly in company. When this happens, it can be said that feeling alone or feeling alone in these cases is equivalent to a negative emotion. On the other hand, there are people who want to have time for themselves and don’t mind being alone. In fact, they end up enjoying this time with their own company.
Sometimes we tend to think that introversion is synonymous with feel alone, but in reality this is usually the personality that most enjoys being alone. On the contrary, extroverts tend to be more inclined to avoid the feeling of loneliness since they can relate it to feeling alone and sad.
We must remember that be alone and feel alone They are two sensations that are experienced in a very different way. When a person considers that they can be alone in life without any problem, this indicates that they have a good relationship with themselves and with others. On the other hand, when an individual may feel lonely surrounded by people, this may imply certain problems within his psyche.
There are a series of damages that can be caused by the fact of feel alone or alone When a person expresses that ‘I feel alone and sad or I am very alone‘ is usually a phrase that dictates that someone cannot enjoy their own company or that of others (even though they would like to). In these cases, the feeling of loneliness is negative and feeling alone and sad entails certain damage to our mental health. According to psychology, we could point out the following disadvantages of feeling alone or feeling alone.
More vulnerability to our internal critics
Feeling alone means being more vulnerable to the negative thoughts that invade our minds. This happens because when someone tends to avoid being alone, isolation is forced and implies negative feelings for them. In this way, critical internal voices tend to be stronger and this usually goes hand in hand with reinforcing messages such as: ‘I feel very alone’ ‘I am very alone’ among others.
Negative feeling of loneliness
Feeling alone It implies that the time we spend alone has a negative cast. Therefore, it is normal for people who experience it this way to express ‘I am alone and sad’. The reality is that when isolation is involuntary it usually makes us feel bad about ourselves. These types of feelings go hand in hand with a poor perception of our self as well as sensations that can lower and undermine self-esteem.
Depression
When someone believes that they usually be alone in life, this may be a sign that perhaps this person suffers from depression. So much so that there are various studies that show that when someone tends to feel alone, their brain changes its chemistry and structure, giving different neural responses to someone who is comfortable with their loneliness. Through these readjustments, the person can see everything through a negative filter that makes them feel less energy to make the change that they so need.
Bad for our health
In addition to implying many negative events for our mental health, feeling alone also creates physical discomfort. Different investigations have shown that expressing ‘I feel very alone ‘ often in our lives can increase the probability of mortality by up to 30%. So much so that researchers claim that being socially connected to others influences both our psychological and emotional well-being.
As we see feel alone It involves a series of negative feelings that can cause a lot of damage both inside and outside of us. When a person does not enjoy being alone or alone it is crucial to work on it with the help of a mental health professional.
Benefits of being alone
Be alone with yourself It has multiple benefits: on the one hand it allows you to get to know yourself, think about your needs and pamper yourself a little after so many obligations. Doing activities alone allows you to challenge yourself, to face situations that perhaps you think you cannot do self-sufficiently or without the help or company of anyone, and when you achieve it, it consequently improves your self-esteem, because you discover a skill that you didn’t know you had because of comfort and letting others do things for you. In this way, being alone does not mean feeling alone and that feeling of negative loneliness, but on the contrary means taking advantage of all the advantages of being with your own company.
Improves concentration and memory
When working alone or doing activities other than be alone It implies that you must try harder to achieve better results. Therefore, by performing tasks that have a certain difficulty, the person will be improving their ability to concentrate and remember.
You work towards your interests
Dedicating time to yourself does not mean wasting it. On the contrary, when a person goes from feel alone to have only positive feelings towards loneliness, this may mean that you spend more time on your interests and improving your abilities. In this way the person feels better about themselves.
Increase creativity
To the be alone Our mind can relax and this implies that ideas will rain from all sides. It is for this reason that by being alone many can be inspired to perform their tasks better or to have new ideas for their projects.
Improve your relationships
Feeling alone and having a negative emotion about your own company can imply a bad belief about yourself. On the other hand, when someone enjoys be alone It is because he believes he has something special inside to work on in himself. That is why when a person can feel good being alone, this also helps to generate better relationships with others since they do not feel dependent on others.
If you think that for you feel alone It is a problem, you must work to try to make that negative feeling of loneliness become positive. To do this, psychologists propose the following.
1. Make a list of everything you want to do
You don’t have to think about what others may need, you just have to write what you feel like doing and that you normally don’t do either because you adapt and prioritize others or because you haven’t even thought about it.
2. Stop focusing on others
People don’t look around to see if you’re alone or accompanied. Everyone goes with their stories and their thoughts, so stop feeling like you are the center of attention because you are not. Being alone It does not imply being worse or better than others. Therefore, put aside the feeling of feeling alone and help yourself want to be alone to enjoy your own company.
3. Enjoy fullness
When you do things by and for yourself you can enjoy more because you are not thinking about others. Start doing things that you have written down on that list and focus solely on yourself, on having fun, on learning and on building your path. For example, if you like a non-commercial musical genre and you discover a concert that may interest you but no one wants to go with you, don’t deprive yourself! You see only to and enjoy it.
4. Eliminate your inner critic
In order to stop hearing that thing that constantly repeats to you ‘I am very alone’ You must work on eliminating your negative thoughts from within you. In these cases, mental control and changing your internal dialogue will be the best method to do it.
5. Work on your mental well-being
Feeling alone In many cases it implies that there is something inside us that is broken. It is for this reason that we may require a specialist psychologist to be able to leave behind this feeling of negative loneliness that invades us from within.
Loneliness can be good or bad depending on where we look at it from. It is because of that feeling alone It is not the same as being alone. We should all aspire to seek our own company and see loneliness as a good friend.
