Fortunata Syndrome: Symptoms, Causes And Treatment

Love is one of the forces and emotions that move and motivate us the most. Living as a couple increases life expectancy, facilitates the acquisition of attitudes such as tolerance and negotiation, allows us to share joys and receive support in bad times, as well as soften pain, suffering and stress.

If the relationship is good, it is often a source of joy, satisfaction and motivation, although it is natural that there will be conflicts and it may also involve some limitations and suffering.

However, not all emotional relationships are positive and functional, but they can lead to deeply maladaptive behaviors that generate suffering or are limiting for one or both of the components of the relationship. This is what happens in the case of the so-called Fortunata syndrome, which entails and is a type of emotional dependence towards another person. It is about this syndrome that we are going to talk about here.

Fortunata syndrome: definition and characteristics

The name Fortunata syndrome is a maladaptive, anomalous and poorly functional way of relating that some people maintain towards the person who is the object of romantic and emotional-sexual interest. Specifically, Fortunata syndrome is characterized by the establishment of dependency relationships towards married people, often establishing themselves in the role of lover of these

Among the main characteristics or symptoms of the syndrome, the first thing that stands out is the presence of a feeling of deep infatuation towards the person who is the object of desire, which persists over time and regardless of the existence of a current relationship on their part.

Deep loyalty and selflessness is shown towards her and It is common to consider that life without a lover has no meaning with a strong attachment to the loved one that can last years or even decades.

The dependence is absolute, being able to make any house that the object of their love asks of them and being able to forgive, justify or overlook any action or lie of this or that person. Furthermore, they only feel attraction for that person and other possible opportunities and relationships are left aside, and they can even leave everything (work, family, home…) because of it.

In these people too the presence of utopian and extremely optimistic beliefs and fantasies is observed that things will change, that the loved one will end up together by abandoning their current relationship to be together, and there is usually the belief that one has more right to be with him/her than the one in the current relationship has. Daydreams and focusing on information that favor the presence of interest on the part of the loved one are common.

With respect to the woman or man married to the object of desire, the person with Fortunata syndrome maintains an ambivalent attitude: on the one hand he considers her a rival whom he despises and considers that she is taking something of his, while on the other side can show empathy, admiration or desire to be like him/her. It is considered to be mere chance or bad luck that the loved one is married and that something will happen that will cause him/her to end up being with him/her.

It is a syndrome that It is not considered a psychiatric disorder or pathology, although it has characteristics that can be dysfunctional and generate great suffering over time. In fact, obsessive, borderline personality or even delusional characteristics may occur, and in itself implies a toxic relationship between both parties that can lead to the appearance of abusive behavior.

As a general rule, those affected are usually heterosexual women, although it can also occur between couples of the same sex, whether male or female. It must be taken into account that the syndrome is not necessarily identified with the fact of being a lover: it is possible that emotional-sexual relationships are maintained, but it can also occur unilaterally.

Origin of the term

Fortunata syndrome owes its name to the well-known novel Fortunata and Jacinta, by Benito Pérez Galdós. In this novel Fortunata is in love with Juan Santa Cruz, who is however married to Jacinta. Juan and Fortunata establish a relationship as lovers, with Fortunata wanting to be in Jacinta’s position, but Juan is not willing to leave Jacinta.

Fortunata ends up becoming a prostitute and even gets married, but she remains Juan’s lover for years, believing that he must be her real husband and even has children with him, while her thoughts about Jacinta go from rage to admiration and the consideration that both are equally legitimate, considering that the entire situation is justified by the love he feels. All these characteristics, as we have seen, are not uncommon in the syndrome described above.

Possible causes of this dependency relationship

There are multiple causes that can lead to the emergence of this syndrome, and various authors have tried to offer an explanation for its origin. Among them, some of the most common and those that have paid the most attention to the syndrome are those of the psychodynamic type.

Some authors propose that it is a way of putting into practice the masochistic tendencies of those who suffer from them. It has also been proposed that this way of relating is a reflection of a poorly resolved Oedipus complex, which causes an attraction towards married people as the parent of the opposite sex and an ambivalent relationship with the third person with whom one competes (the person of the opposite sex). same sex or the “mother” in the case of women).

Other hypotheses establish that it is a learned relational pattern, just as occurs in the habitual dependent personality, in which self-sacrifice and giving everything for the other without taking into account one’s own needs is conceived as something virtuous and courageous and that everything should be allowed and accepted for love. Feelings of sorrow and guilt may arise in case the separation or cessation of your love may cause pain in the other.

It is also common in women and men subjected to a restrictive and rigid education, as well as in people with low self-esteem, insecurity and the need to be accepted.

Along with it It is common for there to be excessive and distorted expectations of what romantic love is, full of maladaptive myths and distorted beliefs regarding what coexistence entails. Finally, from the cognitive-behavioral perspective, the role of reinforcement in the maintenance of this syndrome has been explored: the presence of the loved one acts as an immediate reinforcer, something that, together with the fear and avoidance of loneliness, causes the behavior to be maintained. and the dependent thinking pattern.

How to treat this problem

Treating Fortunata syndrome is complex and involves a set of strategies very similar to those used in dependent personality disorder. The first thing is analyze the patient’s thoughts, beliefs and emotions e regarding romantic love and regarding your relationship with your object of desire.

Once this is done, it will be possible to try to work on becoming aware of the problem that the connection or focusing on the married person entails, little by little restructuring the subject’s cognitions and making him or her see the suffering and limitations that it generates, as well as the factors that They are participating in the origin and maintenance of the problem.

Work must also be done on disassociation with the person in question and the prevention of responses so that they do not relapse with the same person or that they do not establish another equally dysfunctional relationship.

Subsequently, the presence of myths and beliefs regarding romantic love can be restructured, and after that, techniques such as exposure with response prevention to tasks and situations can be applied without thinking or linking to the object of desire. Self-esteem and the acquisition of independence, as well as focusing on oneself, should also be worked on.