Frustration Intolerance: 5 Tricks And Strategies To Combat It
At some point in our lives, we have all considered achieving a challenge. We have made a lot of effort, we have decided to postpone other plans to have more time and give this topic all our dedication. to in the end, not reach our objectives.
It couldn’t be, we have lost, we have failed. This feeling of failure or even anxiety can be for some people a simple setback and for others, depending on their point of view, another defeat to add to the list.
If you identify with the second option, I propose some exercises and tricks that you can practice to improve your frustration intolerance.
Daily frustrations: starting to accept the situation
We cannot deny that, When we feel frustration, the emotions and thoughts that are generated are very intense. Discomfort exists and we feel it as something real, even if we are told that it is just an illusion or that we maintain an exaggerated attitude, or that we seek perfectionism and seem obsessive…
The feeling of frustration is not pleasant, but it is not unbearable either. With the determination that comes from this idea, we must change our attitude and our internal dialogue to see for ourselves that these small “failures” can help us strengthen and empower ourselves. So, The result will always be a better feeling of well-being.
Therefore, before starting to manage feelings related to frustration, we must recognize and accept that although it may seem obvious, the world does not revolve around what we want, and therefore, It is necessary to assume that we are not going to get everything we want. The best thing we can do is think that long-term rewards are usually more rewarding than short-term ones, and that is why we must moderate the desire for immediacy and discover that many times we settle for less precisely because of that impatience.
Some ideas to manage frustration
The most important thing in a situation that generates frustration is:
Having understood all the previous ideas, we can put into practice different techniques that help increase tolerance for frustration and the ability to cope with situations in which our expectations are not met. I propose five very useful ones with good results. Forward!
Tricks to improve frustration tolerance
The objectives we seek when using these techniques are to be aware of what we feel, identify the main emotion, what type of thoughts overwhelm us and, finally, enter a dynamic in which we can analyze our reactions.
1. Key phrase
It is about using a significant self-verbalization that It will help us abandon thoughts that lead to unhelpful actions and negative moods. to replace them with others that lead us to face the situation. Using this type of “reminders”, we focus attention on the solution to the problem and not on the discomfort.
Look in your experiences for those phrases that have helped you make negative situations positive, copy them on paper and remember them in moments of crisis.
It consists of avoid analysis or reflection until emotional cooling has occurred.
How can we do it? We can start doing pleasant or pleasurable activities and practice them when we feel bad and ophoos. It is not an escape, it is a stop in time, a pause for later, to respond to the demands of the moment in a more adaptive way without frustration limiting us.
3. 5 alternatives technique
Many times, We continue to choose to achieve our initial goal, even if an apparent failure seems to block our path. Look for five alternatives to achieve a goal, evaluate all their advantages and disadvantages. There is no ideal solution, so we will look for the one that has the most advantages or the one that poses the most bearable inconveniences.
4. Telephone technique
Analyze the situation, identify inappropriate behavior, specify what things have been done well and think of an alternative behavior that includes the positive aspects of the previous maladaptive behavior. Little by little and successively, you will arrive at an “optimal” action alternative, since with each change the errors made are polished.
5. Zig-zag technique
It can help us improve our patience and learn to be constant. People who are intolerant of frustration have dichotomous thoughts (all or nothing, good or bad, black or white, perfect or useless). This technique aims for the person to understand that there are ups and downs and nuances in all situations.
The objective is to facilitate the goals, dividing the goals into subgoals, and taking into account that sometimes we have to make setbacks (zag) to continue moving forward (zig) towards the final objective. This way, achievements are achieved in zigzag setbacks being seen as opportunities to analyze the situation and reassess the objective. The important thing is that when experiencing a setback we should not feel hopelessness, but rather maintain calm, patience and perseverance to continue getting closer to your goal without letting frustration be an obstacle.
When we are children we learn to tolerate many situations that we do not like, we hear “no” from our parents and teachers daily and little by little we develop our own tools to combat frustration and know how to manage anger and helplessness. We are getting older and, sometimes, By being the ones who set the goals and the pressure, we lose perspective and, as a consequence, good management of the situation.
But this can be remedied, just as in our adult lives we endure without realizing many things that at seven or eight years old would totally frustrate us. Let’s get to work!
