He duel It is a process that takes place after a loss, whether of a loved person, a job, a relationship, an object, etc. Grief affects psychologically although It also affects the behavior and physique of the person who suffers from it It is a necessary, universal and painful process. The important thing is to integrate it into your life and reestablish a relationship with it.
Human beings establish relationships by nature. We are constantly interacting with those around us: we build bonds throughout our existence to meet our needs for safety and protection as children, to develop our identity as adolescents and to give and receive love as adults This impulse to connect with the outside arises from the moment the baby is born and begins to interact with its mother.
It is a process, evolves through time and space , it is normal (everyone can be a victim of a significant loss), it is dynamic, it depends on social recognition, it is intimate (each person handles it differently) but it is also social since it involves cultural rituals and, finally, it is active, the person will make their own decisions and give them meaning. Their role is to elaborate the impact of the loss and adapt to the new situation.
The normal grief
The grieving process is a mechanism to adapt to a loss, it is normalized since its characteristics are present in the majority of grieving. In it normal grief There are about six behaviors that occur normally: somatic or bodily discomfort, concern about the image of the deceased, guilt related to the deceased or the circumstances of the death, hostile reactions, inability to act normally and, finally, many patients developed some traits of the deceased in his own behavior.
The duration of the duel is between two and three years (if it is a significant person), it begins from the moment the person begins to show the separation and ends when the person definitively accepts it.
It is also normal that some people affected by a traumatic event can, as a result of coping, experience positive changes in their lives. There are personality factors that can predict this post-traumatic growth which includes changes in oneself, in interpersonal relationships and in the philosophy or meaning of life. Post-traumatic growth can coexist with suffering. In fact, difficult emotions may be necessary for these changes to occur.
Phases of grief
Normal grief is usually structured in stages that occur successively:
1. Emotional denial
It is a way of emotionally distancing oneself from the event, it is the absence of reactions that ends when it occurs, it should last between 2 weeks and 3 months.
2. Protest
It is done with the closest people, although the real anger is with the lost person, it is very necessary to express this stage.
3. Sadness
It is where there is the greatest danger of stagnation, isolation from the world occurs, it is necessary to have 3 to 5 relationships with whom you can talk about the loss.
4. Intellectual and global acceptance
The fact begins to be accepted, it begins with difficulty talking about it and ends with small comments about the loss.
5. Search for global meaning
It consists of talking about everything that that relationship has implied in the person’s life.
6. Elaboration and new attachments
Being able to link to other relationships without it being a replacement for the lost person.
Abnormal types of duels
Apart from normal grief, there are other types of more complicated or pathological grief:
In the latter case, the absence of supportive contact at the time of the traumatic event and in the time afterward is, in itself, another cumulative loss or trauma.
In the grieving process, there are two types of coping mechanisms: the loss-oriented and the restoration-oriented
For grief to be adjusted, these two mechanisms must occur in an oscillatory manner, although as the process progresses over time, mechanisms aimed at restoration predominate.
The emotional needs of people who have suffered a loss
Grieving people have certain needs that must be met to successfully overcome the loss.
Preparation of special types of losses
There are certain ways of dying and certain circumstances that require special treatments that go beyond the usual processes. We review them below.
Suicide
The affected They are left not only with a sense of loss, but also with a legacy of shame, fear, rejection, anger and guilt It is possible that grief from suicide can be more intense and last longer than grief from another type of loss.
The most notable feeling is shame, which affects both individually and the family nucleus or unit, and guilt; family members assume responsibility for the action of the deceased and have the feeling that they could have done something to prevent that death or, therefore, On the contrary, guilt is manifested by blaming other people for that death.
Sudden death
They occur without warning. In these types of deaths, the loss is perceived as if it were not real, the mind does not assimilate such a sudden change Therefore, a specific treatment is necessary to help accept it.
perinatal death
In this case It is necessary to give importance to the mourning of the deceased baby since, if it is underestimated, it can encourage parents to produce another pregnancy that would only serve as a replacement for the previous one and subsequent problems could arise.
Abortion
Usually a masked grief that manifests itself through other events or events without the patient knowing that they are due to the induced abortion that occurred previously, since it is a provoked loss, it is not usually talked about and is intended to be quickly forgotten. However, a woman who does not process this loss well may see subsequent losses intensified.
In the anticipated duel, Death is known in advance so the process or emotional responses begin before the loss occurs Prolonged grief can produce resentment and, in turn, leads to guilt. Anticipatory mourning does not have to shorten or reduce the intensity of the grieving process after death.
AIDS
Due to the stigma of AIDS, It is really difficult to find social support for this grief since there is fear of rejection or of being judged if the cause of death is discovered. Because of these fears, it is likely that isolation towards the patient will occur. An emotional way to cope with this type of grief is support in social groups that are in the same situation.
Conclusions
In summary, Grief is a process that everyone can be affected or involved with at some point in their lives It is a difficult but solvable process in which the support of others is very necessary to overcome it. In grieving, the presence of a psychologist to help us cope is not necessary, but sometimes the service that he or she can offer us is of great help.
There are many types of grief and many ways to cope with it, but they all have common bases or principles that will help us when identifying it.
Grief is a serious process that can cause many problems if not treated properly, so It is vitally important to know about it and be prepared to offer help to victims both from a professional perspective and from a closer vision such as helping a family member or friend cope.
