Have A Serene And Happy Relationship: How To Achieve It?
Today I would like to talk to you about a topic that worries my patients a lot, and that is one of the most important for human beings when it comes to being happy.
A priori we can think that as rational beings that we are, we give a lot of importance to the decisions we make from a purely rational point of view. However, we are much more emotional than we think and we are moved by feelings, emotions, and sometimes by impulses, in most cases.
Therefore, sometimes it is important to sit down for a moment, reflect and analyze aspects of our lives that we may want to change or improve. In this case I am referring to relationships, and the perfect formula to maintain a serene, healthy and happy relationship over time. It might seem like something almost like a fairy tale, and sometimes this same excessive idealization is what prevents us from really enjoying a relationship and having expectations that are often unattainable.
According to my experience and my point of view, a large part of couple conflicts arise from not knowing how to manage personality differences, differences in values or lifestyles As the years go by, routine, passivity, lack of common projects, etc. can also come together. If there comes a time when we begin to consider “do I love the other person or not”, “am I happy or not”, or “do I feel comfortable or not”, and we begin to answer no to everything, it is that we have a problem, and we have to face it.
Problems generally do not go away on their own, so we will have to work hard to solve them. I would like to give some guidelines in case you find yourself at this point. Same as in the case of patients who come to my office with relationship problems; After carefully studying each case, I like to give a series of personalized instructions, like homework, and let them try to put them into practice little by little.
These keys are based above all on an improvement in attitude, empathy, proactivism, and positive vision
1. Communication and understanding are the first step
First of all, we both have to sit down, with time, in a relaxed environment where we know we will not be disturbed, with the phones turned off, and explain to the other person all our concerns: what is happening to us, what we think, what we need, how we think we can solve it, etc. That is, give a first glimpse of what is happening, and listen to the other person to know what they think and the needs that they also have.
Once the topic is addressed, a door opens through which we both have to walk. in search of a path that we both like Even if the other person believes that there is no problem, they always have to think that as a couple you have to face the problem together, and try to understand the other person in order to move forward. Assume the situation and decide whether to try to solve it or not.
Respect and trust in the other person are fundamental, They are the pillars of all personal relationships, and in the case of a couple, even more The other person has to be a pillar to lean on when you need it, and vice versa.
There must be enough trust so that each person can lead their life without jealousy, without control, without mistrust. If this is being lost it is important to recover it; We have to communicate more, express our concerns, our fears and have the other person do the same to dispel doubts and misunderstandings.
3. Complicity
As a couple, you have to have activities that you should do together, enjoy things in common, and also alone as a couple. It is very important that we share hobbies, or lifestyles that allow us to enjoy the moment, the situation, the activity, and also with the person we love. If we no longer do things together, you have to think about what you did together before, and try to recover it, or create new motivating situations for both of you. Continue writing your love story.
4. Passion
Sex is a fundamental part of any couple, regardless of those who declare themselves asexual. For all the others, which are the vast majority, passion must not be neglected
Sometimes, due to age, children, work, our routine, stress, fatigue, it seems that everything is much more important than sex, and we are wrong. In a relationship, it is a very important part, which brings together all the other points at the same time: communication, respect, trust, complicity, and also passion. Relaxation, sharing, talking, opening up, taking the necessary time, creating conducive atmospheres, being positive, being active, etc.
