Healing A Broken Heart: 7 Keys To Dealing With Heartbreak
One might think that the opposite of love is not hate, but failure in love. The feeling of loss often called “being heartbroken” It is a type of grief that can be very difficult to face Not only does it entail a loss in the face of future situations (the impossibility of feeling and acting in the same way again when being with a specific person) but it also makes us consider the authenticity of all the experiences we have had in the real or imagined company. of that person.
The feeling of having a broken heart is hard not only because of the material changes that accompany it, such as stopping or seeing much less of a person, but also because of the existential doubts it introduces in us. Have we experienced unrequited love? Has the other person changed, or has it been us? Did our relationship necessarily have to come to an end, or could we have fixed it? Have we done anything to deserve being heartbroken?
They are not questions that we ask ourselves from the distance with which a scientist studies a group of cells: they are doubts that are caused by a series of feelings such as guilt, sadness and disappointment, and the way in which we answer them. It will also have a clear emotional impact on us.
It is clear that the fact that our hearts are broken (or, rather, that we ourselves are heartbroken) has a very important impact on our lives. good time… Will these feelings and ideas stay there forever? Is it inevitable that this discomfort will become chronic in us?
The feeling of sadness and helplessness can be suffocating, but, nevertheless, broken hearts can be healed. Healing a broken heart can take time and effort, but it is possible for a simple reason: in the same way that emotional pain has been produced by a series of learned behaviors and thoughts, everything that makes us feel bad can be unlearned..
To get to work on this recovery, rather than focusing on tips to heal a broken heart, it is important to focus on ideas, vital principles that must accompany us in our daily lives Ultimately, advice can only be given if each person’s circumstances are known and can be examined and discussed between both parties.
The solution, then, is to embrace certain ideas and keys to life that make us reorganize the schemes with which we interpret our environment, ourselves and others. Here you can read 7 of these keys.
1. Opening new possibilities
Feeling heartbroken is an anomaly that can lead you to experience new situations and atypical ones that we would not have experienced otherwise. For example, if you feel loneliness, that will lead you to take the initiative and meet other people who in the future may be very valuable to you.
If you feel so bad that you don’t want to do anything, forcing yourself to do the opposite of what your body tells you (to break the sadness dynamic) can lead to the same result. In any case, you will be doing things you never used to do, and in a new way. Opportunities can be extracted from negative feelings
2. The broken heart as an engine of creativity
Many times, even the most adverse situations can be taken advantage of. The feelings triggered by the sensation of having a broken heart can be a source of new creations that can also help you make sense of the pain you feel at that moment.
You can try writing what you feel using your imagination to translate verbatim everything you would like to say, or you can develop any project in which you believe that emotional activation you feel can help you.
3. The powerful power of attention
Have you realized that throughout history there have been great tragedies and irremediable losses and yet they don’t make you feel terribly bad at every moment? Because, Despite knowing many of these sad stories, you do not pay attention to them in your daily life
If you think that feeling heartbroken can’t help you in any way, It is good that you know that that pain is there because you feed it with your actions and your recurring thoughts: does not exist by itself. This is the reason why much of the advice that is usually given in these cases invites you to keep yourself busy with something, to force yourself to concentrate on new tasks.
4. Embracing humanism
Fixing a broken heart means accepting the idea that we decide what we can expect from others and from ourselves. There is no essential or extraordinary person beyond the value that we ourselves give to them.
Likewise, there is no objective measure that determines our own worth, or who we can or deserve to be with. We can decide all of this based on the experiences we are living in the present. Embracing the humanistic spirit will help us understand that it is we who give meaning and value to things.
It is good to keep in mind that we cannot control everything that happens in our lives Many good and bad things happen regardless of our intentions, and therefore we should not feel guilty for their existence.
The Stoic idea that we should only worry about what depends directly on what we do is very applicable in the case of a broken heart, which usually involves someone else besides ourselves.
6. Feeling bad is not bad
There is nothing wrong with expressing our sadness to others Crying is very helpful in relieving pain, and the same goes for sharing our thoughts with others.
When we suffer from a broken heart, it is good to take advantage of all the help that is offered to us and not throw it away so as not to be a burden or spread the discomfort. After all, we would do the same for other people.
7. Denial doesn’t fix anything
Trying to block memories about what we experienced with someone will only make us focus more on those memories and evoke them all the time. In the same way, denying that we feel bad when it is evident that this is not the case will only make us notice a tension that we cannot release, and our way of behaving will become totally artificial.
To release the pain of a broken heart, you have to accept that those feelings are there and they will not disappear in a matter of minutes.
