It is often said that someone has a histrionic personality when their behavior presents patterns of showmanship, dramatization and, ultimately, actions and attitudes that seek to attract the attention of others.
In order to focus the attention of the people around them, it is common for individuals with a tendency to histrionics to use strategies such as seduction or victimhood.
Histrionics with a tendency to seduction
The histrionic personality that tends to use seduction recurrently is usually well valued by others. In fact, they are people with a good capacity for social relationships, and They usually have good positions in companies thanks to their people skills and their talkativeness. However, when they are not able to monopolize attention, they appear susceptible and tend to victimize themselves, saying they do not feel valued or understood.
histrionic people They live in a continuous swing of emotions and feelings. They are very emotionally unstable, and therefore their mood fluctuates rapidly; They can go from being happy and talkative to being sad and melancholic.
Discovering Histrionic Personality Disorder
When the personality traits that we associate with histrionics become chronic, they can result in a condition that mental health experts know as Histrionic Personality Disorder.
Traits of Histrionic Personality Disorder
The traits, signs and behaviors typical of Histrionic Personality Disorder are the following:
Causes
The histrionic personality usually begins to take shape during childhood, although it is often noted that is evident during adolescence. There is no single cause of histrionics, but rather a series of factors that can influence: a parental style that is too absent and inattentive, psychological abuse, having suffered belittlement and humiliation, or an educational style without clear guidelines and limits.
Other factors, such as low self-esteem, feeling dissatisfied with one’s physical appearance and insecurity, can promote this type of personality to consolidate and maintain itself.
Practical tips
Living with a person who has these traits can be complicated.
To try to help them become aware that their way of acting is dysfunctional, and also to prevent close people from also ending up psychologically affected we have prepared this list with different points to take into account.
1. Let’s accept reality
Sometimes it can be difficult to accept things as they are. And even more so if the person we are close to has behaviors that we do not understand. However, This does not mean that we should not act to try to change the situation.
It is important that we keep in mind that the histrionic personality is not the result of whim, but rather it is a dysfunctional and consolidated way of expressing oneself. Of course, we must avoid saying phrases like: “You shouldn’t put on these little scenes.”. For the affected person, their perception of these expressions is not like that. The histrionic person does not see anything strange in how he expresses his emotions, because They are behaviors that are very consolidated in your personality.
Therefore, we must keep in mind that they are people with serious difficulties controlling their emotions and that they have a distorted and unrealistic perception, which surely affects them more than we think. It is not a good idea to treat these people in a charitable and compassionate way, since we would be reinforcing their victimizing behavior. We must make them see that we all have our quirks and difficulties in life, and that no one is perfect.
2. Let’s establish clear boundaries
That we accept their personality does not mean that we do not try to find a remedy, nor that we should be soft and submissive towards histrionic people. We can be understanding but at the same time establishing clear frameworks: it is useless to justify everything.
We must try to act with moderation and objectivity, and make it known that we are also worthy of respect. When the histrionic person enters one of his phases of excessive expression of his feelings, we must remain firm, but polite. For example, we can say: “It seems to me that you are very upset right now, I will come back in a while and we can talk about what happened. The situation feels bad to me and it is important that we can understand each other” or: “I cannot allow you to disrespect me. I respect you and value you, and that’s why I don’t understand your attitude. The moment you are aware of this, we can talk about this matter again.”.
3. Let’s not fall into certain traps
It is not a good idea to get involved in their manipulations and games. You should treat these types of people as adults, even though they may display childish behaviors. If you play along and act as if you are her parent or put yourself on her level, the relationship ends up entering swampy terrain and neither you nor she gains anything.
If you are able to communicate with this person face to face and with responsibility and tact, they will give up their efforts to make you play their game.
4. Let’s positively reinforce their adult behaviors
When this person behaves in an adult and mature manner, You should notice that our attention towards her is greater. The moment his usual histrionic behavior gives way to responsibility and maturity, we must value him and make him notice that we like it.
In fact, sometimes it is easier to discourage dysfunctional behavior positively reinforcing the opposite behavior when it occurs. In short, you should notice that we are curt and curt (but polite) when he behaves histrionically, but that we are nevertheless attentive and positive when he displays adult behaviors.
This point is important: we should not laugh or make fun of a person with this problem. Although in many areas of life humor can be a good escape valve and can put problems into perspective, in the case of histrionic personalities it is not advisable since it could have more negative than positive effects.
If they perceive that you belittle them and that you do not respect them, you may be causing their emotions to become even more altered. Keep in mind that they are very sensitive people and it will not help them at all to notice that others mock them and treat them without respect.
6. Let’s act prudently
It is important that let us maintain criteria of prudence and responsibility. If we don’t, we can go from being angels to demons in a second. Histrionic people tend to go from idealization to hatred towards those close to them.
They follow a logic of extremes. Therefore, we should not feel too praised when we are flattered because in a short time it can begin to denigrate us and our feelings will be affected. In an extreme case, if we do not take enough distance from their opinions and evaluations, we can acquire a certain emotional instability. To avoid this, it is necessary that we relativize their opinions of us.
Treatment for histrionic personality
People who have histrionic personality traits suffer from a series of situations that cause them discomfort and reinforce their dysfunctional behaviors.
The underlying problem is that They do not perceive their behaviors as negative, and therefore they fall into victimhood and do not go to a mental health professional. that can offer them therapy according to their needs.
In reality, histrionic people end up going to therapy when their life circumstances have worsened or they have suffered an emotional setback, for example after a romantic breakup, due to generalized anxiety or depressive symptoms.
Psychotherapists usually agree that, once therapy has begun, The main obstacle is usually inconsistency and little commitment to it. with relatively high levels of treatment abandonment after a few weeks.
