Every day we come across thousands of messages about parenting, about how to educate, about nutrition, emotional management, or Emotional Intelligence, about accompanying boys and girls…
And every day we are more Fathers and mothers who question how we want to care for, accompany and educate our sons and daughters That, on many occasions, causes many contradictions, contradictions that we put into practice and that make us feel bad.
The challenge of adapting parenting to the particularities of the family
Every family is unique, and each member of that family is also unique. Therefore, we cannot forget that each one of them has their own experiences, their education and upbringing, their fathers and mothers who have done the best they could and knew how, and that has been the learning that people carry in our lives. backpack.
It is our family and we must know it knowing what’s inside, knowing every detail to be able to assess what we stay with and what we don’t agree with.
Making that journey is sometimes not easy, because it means reconciling with your childhood, with your mother and/or your father and never forgetting that they always did the best they knew how. It means knowing what the weak points are and what the strong points are, and that is why it is so important to have this conversation with yourself and with your partner before even having children. This is how you can visualize how you would like your upbringing to be to start working on acquiring the necessary tools.
It is clear that, when a family considers that another education is possible, it does everything in its power to obtain the information and even the training necessary to be able to do so.
These families are the ones who have realized that the education we ourselves have received did not, on many occasions, accompany the entire emotional sphere: educated in genres and promulgated the idea that emotions, better at home (just like dirty rags).
So we get to work, but sometimes the training we have is not enough, because the day to day life overwhelms us. Because adult obligations sometimes eat into the rights of children and the right to be able to educate with conscience; because having the tools and information is very good, but when you see yourself in the situation it is difficult to be able to reproduce the appropriate parenting model and not fall into what you know is not correct, which is not what you want.
And then guilt comes That damn word that often accompanies mothers and fathers in our upbringing, perhaps more than we would like.
Given all this, how can we deal with those feelings we were talking about? Well, taking these keys into account:
On the other hand, we must know how to seek help if we feel it is necessary A more continuous or punctual advice that guides us on how to put knowledge into practice, that approaches situations from the coherence of educating positively, but without permissiveness and without authoritarianism, balancing towards the middle point and making us aware of where we are at all times. to be able to later raise our children without needing their presence.
