How Can A Psychologist Help Me If I Am Unfaithful?
Infidelity is behind many of the reasons why people go to a psychologist. Both in individualized sessions and in care for couples, breaking with the commitment on which the relationship is based is part of those elements that greatly deteriorate personal and emotional relationships, and that can even leave emotional consequences.
However, many times the focus is only on how either the victim of it (the person who has been deceived in their romantic relationship) or the relationship as a whole can overcome infidelity, if it has not occurred. a break up. Here We are going to focus on how psychology works to help people with a tendency to infidelity. regardless of whether they are currently in a relationship or not.
Infidelity is the fact of breaking the commitment to sexual and/or emotional exclusivity within the framework of a romantic relationship. Each relationship establishes what infidelity is and is not, but that does not mean that it cannot occur in polyamorous relationships. As a general rule, in practice, being unfaithful implies either maintaining intimate approaches of a sexual nature with people outside the relationship, or getting involved in another romantic relationship, breaking with the commitment of a previous relationship.
That is, in most cases, it is established that it is not necessary to have sex or kiss for infidelity to occur (although as we have seen, this depends on the agreement that exists between both parties).
Possible causes of infidelity
Infidelity is a complex psychological phenomenon in which both personal characteristics and predispositions and the type of bond established with the other person in the relationship and even the context in which both people live together play a role. Of course, that does not mean that anyone is responsible for committing or not committing infidelities, much less that the person who has been unfaithful is responsible for what happened; However, it must be kept in mind that in the vast majority of cases there is not a single cause, but rather several combined causes and triggers.
Some of these common causes of infidelity are the following:
As we have seen, infidelity It is not always produced simply and simply to maximize opportunities for immediate sexual satisfaction. that offers life; There are cases in which whoever commits them suffers. But that does not mean that you are not turning your partner into a victim of infidelity, nor that it is justified or even desirable behavior as a way of managing emotions.
On the other hand, this multi-causal nature of infidelity means that the best way to end this pattern of behavior is to go to a psychologist, given that in this type of services the specific case is explored and the main causes of what is happening are identified. that are unique to each person. However, beyond this type of psychological intervention programs, there are some strategies that in general can help those who have detected a predisposition to commit infidelities and are looking for a way to change in this aspect to be able to maintain functional and healthy relationships. stable.
How does psychology work to help people not be unfaithful?
There are many techniques and strategies that are used by psychologists when intervening in people with a predisposition to be unfaithful. These are some of the most important ones.
1. Detection of problematic thoughts
In the psychologist’s office, work is done to “train” people to quickly identify the ideas and thoughts that come to mind and that can precipitate the fact of falling into infidelity. This involves becoming familiar with the forms of self-deception and knowing in advance the situations in which these temptations may appear.
2. Increased ability to enjoy sexuality as a couple
It is also possible to provide several strategies to enjoy sex within the relationship, so that there are much fewer incentives to fall into infidelity. This includes achieving greater connection and harmony with the other person, improving communication and losing fear of certain taboo topics.
3. Improved social skills
Some people tend to be unfaithful because They have few resources to connect with others outside the area of ​​sexuality.
If the person develops better social skills, these can be applied beyond their relationship and will be able to establish viable friendship bonds in the medium and long term, so it will make less sense to use sequential sexual encounters to combat loneliness.
4. Emotion management and impulse control techniques
Several procedures are grouped here to teach the person not to give in to their impulses (linked to the here and now) at the price of sacrificing their values ​​and medium and long-term goals. They have a lot to do with the modulation of attentional focus and self-motivation.
Are you looking for professional psychological assistance?
If you want to overcome the problem of the tendency to be unfaithful, contact me; I am a psychologist who is an expert in cognitive-behavioral psychology, a very effective intervention model to help people change their behavior patterns and management of their emotions and impulses. I offer sessions both in person at my office in Madrid and online by video call.
